superjen:
journal
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supersar | superkate
090301 » abuse me more, I like
it
listening to /
Coldplay / Parachutes - touring in August YAY!
eating \ not much
feeling |
contemplative
050301
It
was midday, but my head told me otherwise as I stood under the sun at
the very classy local train station, having had little sleep the night
before the first day back of uni. I looked at the consumed space around
me; briefcases, backpacks, school bags. Was there a familiar trend
here?
"Crap",
I thought hitting my head, "I forgot to buy a new lecture pad...
hope we don't have an important lecture".
After
the ritualised 10 minute delay, I slugged onto my train, and slumped
straight into a train seat surrounded by an assortment of YUCKY STUFF! I hoped
this wasn't signifying the kind of day I was about to have...
I'm doing
a really groovy subject this semester called "Theories of Conflict and
Violence", where we study philosophies concerning why humans are murders,
rapists, sadists, why they want to cause harm, etc. It sounds roooolly
interesting! So watch out all you abusive, psychotic, assassins!!! I'm coming to
get youuu...to ANALYSE you! Mwahaha.... *imagines herself looking evil in pseudo-goth
clothing, a black cape, surrounded by smokey background and spooky noises,
carrying a dagger in one hand and a philosophy text book in the other*...
The
subject is also double the fun cause we have the cute lecturer with the GREAT
butt! Yay! Now if that doesn't motivate me, I dunno what will... funnily enough,
there was a last-minute stampede of mostly female students who came to sign up!
:D
I got to
catch up with an old friend that I haven't seen in ages too! And she lives in
NEWTOWN now...woohoo!
060301
Tuesday was so
boring. I had the most PAINFUL lecture... when I finally found it that
is.
Running late
and not checking room numbers (I rely purely on instinct..), I ran into the lecture room, seeing a
few familiar faces and thinking I had found my way! I sat next to a
girl I vaguely know, but didn't try to find out if I was in the right
room straight away. She clutched the course outline tightly to her
body and no mater how hard I tried to peek, I couldn't get a glimpse:
Superme:
so um, which tutorial did you sign up for?
Course
Outline Girl: Ohhh the one straight after! *beams*
Superme:
*trying desperately to gather information* Uhuh... which room is that
in?
*lecture room
has filled and lecture is about to start*
Course
Outline Girl: this one! *finally gives up her outline and points
to the page*... I would die for a coff-
Superme:
*beginning to realise I'm absolutely and totally lost* -ahh!! umm..
what subject is this... what DAY is this? WHERE AM I?!
Course
Outline Girl: *looks worried*... Islam in asian politics...
Superme:
fuck!!!! *runs out*
Course
Outline Girl: ...hey, where are you goinggggg!?
So I got to the
right lecture 20 minutes late, realised it was hell boring, made a
to-do list for the next day while major issues were being discussed,
decided I preferred the wrong lecture I was in before, nearly fell
asleep listening to the monotonous drones of the lecturer, sms-ed
sarah about a million times to discuss...well, myself... then I leapt
out and headed for a double mocha latte!
The whole day
was made even more unproductive when I realised I had forgotten to do
almost everything I needed to do that day.
090301
Do you ever
just stop what you're doing, right there, and think about where you
are in life, what you're doing, where you've come from, where you're
heading?
I've never
really been through a major experience that has made me do this, but
this week I found myself out of control on a whirl of thoughts,
re-thoughts, and over-thoughts. I might have over-reacted a little to
the situation, but that's not the point- for the first time I was in
the most confused frame of mind!
During this
phase, I was sitting on the train home, staring out the window... when
I realised everything was so familiar. It was weird.
When I first
started uni, I was actually pretty terrified. The change was so
overwhelming for me, that even little things like figuring out train
schedules seemed like a huge deal. I guess you can say I'd led a
pretty sheltered life up until then... :P But sitting on that train
just made me stop and think about how far I'd actually come and all
the things that I've achieved along the way. We never give ourselves
enough credit for all the stages we've reached in life! After a time,
we just do things; we live; we breathe; we wake up; we go to work; we
get on our train without giving it too much thought; and it becomes
such a ritual that we don't seem to remember when these things which
seem so trivial now, we're once a world of difference.
I think change
is really good. And I want more of it. I am soooo ready for a change.
Jen,
X
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