Part 1: The Visit
“It’s getting harder,” thought Nicodemus as he drifted out of meditation. “I was always able to maintain focus longer than that.” It had been several months since the confrontation with Saede about their powers. She was still of the impression that this was some big, important part of their lives. Nicodemus had come to agree with that statement, only for a different reason. It was a big deal now because she had brought it up, not because it was inevitable.
Nico pushed himself off the floor and to shaking legs. He was constantly tired now, and there seemed to be nothing he could do about it. At first, he had discovered meditation as a way to focus his energy and try to conserve it so he wouldn’t be drained by noon. Anymore, however, it was a struggle just to maintain conscienceness while meditating. He was unfocused. As he gathered his remaining effort to pull himself into bed, he thought about his current predicament. It had been a while since he had really noticed these powers of his. That was until recently.
Even though he didn’t remember it, his powers had been with him years ago. Back then, it was easier. They would come to him when he needed them, always being opportune and controlled. When he was still killing people for money as an assassin, the force had found its way to help him in his achievement. It was subtle enough to go mostly unnoticed or be chalked up to quick reflexes or luck.
It was only a short while ago that he began to get a hold of the severity of these gifts. He was informed after his memory loss that he had been quite the ruthless killer. However, after an accident that he could only speculate about, his past was erased from his memory. When he came to his senses, Saede was there looking over him. Her concern and compassion had not changed over the months they had known each other. Over that time, it was becoming evident that they had been very close before the accident, and the fact that he could no longer remember who he was did not diminish her feelings for him.
Nicodemus had made the decision to quit his previous and highly successful career of Rebel assassin. It was a glimmer of insight that pushed him onto a cleaner, and arguable nobler path. Then came the accident. Ironically, on one of his last slated missions, he had been caught up in bad tidings and was wounded gravely. His memory was erased so completely that he was literally a new person.
The rebellion was never to keen to loose one of their prized marksmen. When those in charge learned that Nico had lost his memory, they conveniently lost the paperwork acknowledging his resignation. Among the noble upper echelons of the organization, it was rationalized that Nico was indeed a new person, and if he were to rediscover his love of “the hunt” as he called it, they would be remiss to stand in his way of his previous occupation. It was simple enough to write off his determination to quit as a momentary lapse of reason, and if Nico could not remember it anymore, then why should they remind him of his mistake? Although Nico did begin training to become an assassin once more, he came to the same conclusions about this occupation and resigned again. The rebellion had been less than happy to let him leave, but also understood that if, even after contracting amnesia, he still wanted to quit, then it was not a lapse in reason and instead an actual life choice.
During the listless time period where Nicodemus was unemployed, his powers grew. His grasp on them did not. It began slightly at first, where the sensations he would normally feel only in dangerous circumstances would come to him more and more frequently. The progression was steady, and inevitably spun more and more out of control. It had become an issue when he inadvertently began moving small objects, or transmitting feelings or thoughts to Saede, who was at this time living with him in his small two room flat on Dantooine. In order to try to compensate for this tailspin, he used meditation to counterbalance the situation. It worked remarkable well at first. It would appear that Nico was a natural at the act, but only to a point. Although he had achieved a new level of control over his growing powers, they again surpassed his limited ability to keep them in check. Currently, meditation was the temporary bandage that, while it worked well against the cut, was failing to contain the rapidly growing hemorrhage.
As Nico lay in bed feeling even too tired to sleep, his mind wandered to currant issues. It was still difficult not to have a past. He didn’t let it show, or so he thought. The initial shock had worn off, but he had not really progressed into a state beyond being numb. Sure, he had some semblance of life now, but he thought frequently about what having a past would be like. His lack of work stated it all; he had gotten over most of the aspects of losing his memory, but had not yet moved onto an actual life of his own yet. Lacking direction or motivation, he remained unemployed. Besides, even if he did find something he was passionate about again (that didn’t conflict with sudden insights into morals), he lacked the energy to do anything about it.
He had gone to Coroscaunt not long ago on one of his better days. He went into the library there and began doing some research on symptoms he was feeling. “If these powers are here to stay,” he rationalized, “perhaps there is some information on how to control them. Or better yet, if I can find a medical text, I might be able to find a cure!” He knew the idea would not appeal to Saede in the least. After all, she didn’t even want to get her leg fixed to the full extent of technology, and these powers were just as much a ‘part of her’ as her leg. Perhaps more so. While he was researching symptoms in existing literature, he read numerous sections dealing study of medicine. He had to remind himself why he was there, and quickly pulled himself back on track. It wasn’t too long before he was referenced to the Jedi order.
It might have not been the case before his accident, but he became fascinated with the practices of the old Jedi order. The librarian had given him data discs with a wink and a smile when he asked about something more in-depth rather than just passing mention. The files regarding the jedi were high on the Banned Data list the empire had out. Apparently someone high in the ranks didn’t like the jedi or what they stood for, deciding to try to wipe them from history. It was actually a bit impressive that only a few minor references in older data had mentioned the jedi at all, the data was so thoroughly suppressed. The discs from the librarian were banned, but Nico wasn’t about to tell if she wouldn’t.
The disks themselves contained very little of value to someone who knew even the slightest bit of the Jedi order. The information that had been gathered read more like footnotes likely skipped over by those editing the massive text to make sure it was up to imperial code. It only provided the briefest of descriptions of the old republic and how the Jedi fought to maintain peace. Of course, to someone who knew nothing of their exploits like Nicodemus, the short tidbits let his imagination soar.
It wasn’t long after that Nicodemus began growing a short beard like the few old pictures he had found. He later donned the typical robe. It was out of style, but initially worked to be inconspicious. It was apparel like most people wore years ago when the jedi still existed. People never really thought he was a jedi, just out of touch with the times. Saede had mostly taken the transition in stride. Nico got the impression she wasn’t too thrilled with his beard, but had managed to smooth that over with the charm he assumed he inherited from his previous life. Deep down, Nicodemus did want to be a jedi knight, but he lacked the focus any more to realize it. He was just as lost as ever, and only thought about the jedi when he wasn’t too tired to make it through the day.
Saede, he decided, had gotten out light on this deal. She had been the one who pushed him to acknowledge their gifts, but she wasn’t suffering from them. Nico felt like it was possible that, when she had encouraged him to open the door to experimenting with his powers, she had inadvertently told him to open a flood gate that he now saw no sign of ever being able to close. Perhaps if he had never meddled with them to begin with and actively try to get results, this never would have happened. Meanwhile, she played with her meager abilities like a cat toys with yarn. It had still not left his mind that she would grow tired of experimenting with her abilities and simply move on, making the whole situation a flight of fancy for her. She wouldn’t give up on her powers, just loose interest in perusing them. She never showed any signs that she was distressed, and indeed continued on with her regular life.
It was at about this time in life where Nicodemus decided to go to the market on Tatooine. It was one of his better days and he had nothing else to do around the humble little flat, so he thought it might be fun to go spend some of his vast fortune. He told Bantam to continue to clean things and inform Saede where he went if she got home before him. It turned out later that she would be preoccupied at a ball watching a failed assassination that night anyway. He went to the star port and meandered up to the Star Stealer, his ship. After running though a quick pre-flight check, he pulled out for takeoff. He couldn’t help but chuckle at Saede’s reaction to the first time they went into hyperspace. Because of his amnesia, things were new to him as well, but again, he approached them with little emotion and detached interest. Things that were new to Saede, however, seemed to have a great deal of impact. She was, indeed, very emotional. He watched as the stars began to streak and meld together in the center of the viewport as he entered hyperspace. He leaned back and tried not to think as he cruised along the pre-set route. It wasn’t long before he went up to the observation deck of the ship to meditate. He had gotten to the point where he could always sense when he was about to need the bandage. He meditated for several hours, finding the lack of surrounding “interference” from life forms nearby comforting. It had occurred to him a while ago that beings gave off a life force, and he was constantly picking that up. This was part of the reason he was tired all the time, feeling like a droid that was low on battery because it was constantly running. The other part of his energy was being defused into nothingness. It was only once in a while he could really do anything productive with his powers, and then he couldn’t do much and felt so drained after the effort, he was sore to repeat it. Hyperspace was nice because, after all, nothing lived in hyperspace.
The flight from Dantooine to Tatooine would take the Star Stealer roughly 18 hours. It would normally take longer, but Nico had decided to put a little bit of money to get a slight edge on the engines, as well as talking to other pleasure cruiser who had given him a better route to take. It would take the ship closer to some gravity wells, which could be dangerous, but overall shaved some decent time off his trip. Nico spent almost all of the trip in meditation of sleeping in the modest quarters. Most pilots, he realized, had companions for this very reason. Perhaps he should invest in some pre-programed vid discs to keep him entertained. It wasn’t too long, however, until he arrived at his destination.
Luckily, it was another good day for Nico. Again, the lack of life force out in the desert caused little interference with his continuous empathy. He parked his ship out of the way in order to avoid any “Imperial Entanglement” as they had come to be called. None of the good shopping was in the city anyways. The continuous imperial patrols had made selling anything worthwhile impossible except to the most skilled of black market salesmen. Shopping on this planet was hard for several reasons. First of all, if one were to stray too close to Hutt territory, then the merchandise would almost strictly be illicit. That part of the planet was dangerous and dirty anyway. Second of all, most of the shops would advertise something they didn’t sell on their storefront. Once it was established that one was not an imperial, the real merchandise would be presented. From illegal firearms to spices of all sorts, it would be a safe bet that the furniture store was selling something other than chairs. Finally, the store owners always had a particular air about them that made them rude to customers. Most of them sold through pressure dealing, and while they did haggle on prices, always put up a fuss.
At the moment, Nico was looking at a resource store. The name on the front of the shop advertised that they sold all sorts of perfectly legal resources in bulk, but failed to mention the illicit contraband it stocked. Gases used to make blasters fire, chemicals predominantly used in bowcaster projectiles, and crates of laser knives used for slicing were readily in stock. While browsing the selection of random objects, it hit him like a truck. The interference was so great, and Nico was so sensitive to the technique, it felt like he would have picked it up from a parsec away. Nico spun toward the direction of the disturbance, frantically trying to find its source. His mind raced over many things; partially how strong the impression was, and partially how he shouldn’t be looking around like this. From his little training in covert tactics, he knew that searching as he was would draw attention, and probably from people he didn’t want to notice him. He located the source in a matter of moments, and fixated on it just in time to see an older gentleman wave a hand in front of the shop owner’s face. As Nico watched spellbound, the owner shook his head, looking a bit befuddled. They exchanged a few more sentences of dialog, which was lost on Nico due to ambient noise, and the gentleman gathered his purchased bundle and made his way to the door.
Nico moved to follow him, thankful the older man had not even cast a glance in his direction. He caught up with him just as he was loading his parcel into the storage compartment of his 34X landspeeder. Nico took a brief moment to look the man over. He was a twi’lik wearing a ratty old duster and a stained muscle shirt. His pants were bland, as were his shoes. His entire outfit appeared to say, “don’t notice me” to someone who took the time to rationalize it. His head tails were wrinkled, as were the facial features Nico had managed to catch in the glace while he passed him in the shop. Before Nico could say anything, the gentleman spoke.
“Got to get these back to the enclave. Big demand you know.” His voice was raspy, but steady. It sounded less elderly and more grizzled than Nico had imagined. “Crystal energy is so hard to buy in bulk anymore. We had to resort to practicing with sticks and staves unless the young ones could manage to find a crystal of their own. But, then again, you have no idea what I am talking about, so it really doesn’t matter.”
Nico stood there for a while, puzzled. He was still trying to make sense of what had happened in the store, and was not ready for dialog about something he had no inkling of. He managed to strain out a, “yeah, I guess so,” before the old man turned to look him over.
“Well, let’s see what we have here,” began the man studying Nico. He pulled lightly on his cloak and flashed an amused smile. “Trying a little hard aren’t we? And in this heat, I can only imagine. No matter.” He winked at Nico and then hoped into the speeder with agility remarkable for one his age. “Are you coming or aren’t you?”
To this day, Nico doesn’t really know why he betrayed his better judgement and got in the speeder with a total stranger. Perhaps it was the wink that sold him, but Nicodemus felt like he could trust the old man. When he was secured into the speeder’s passenger seat, the old man began to drive for parts unknown. Nico stayed quiet for a long time, thinking about the situation and how quickly it was happening. He didn’t want to get overwhelmed with what was transpiring. Only later, it would occur to him exactly how deep in he really was.
Continue on to Part 2: The Truth
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