Please enjoy, and remember to credit me - Kerry Kushner - if you decide to copy them. But you may only copy them for personal use.
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My webpage is brought to you today by: Lord of the Rings and Dippity Do Hair Gel...A little dab will do ya.
(Psst - Aragorn! You put too much in your hair again. How many times do I have to tell you...a - little - dab - will - do - ya! Now your hair looks greasy!)
Er...umm...Dippity Do Hair Gel - A little dab will do ya.
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My webpage is brought to you today by milk.
Legolas: When I know I'll have a hard day fighting off Orcs and Urok-hai, I make sure I start my day with a big mug of milk.
Milk makes strong bones, good teeth, and beautiful skin.
Milk - it does a body good.
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My webpage is brought to you today by: Pears Shampoo and Conditioner.
Legolas: Running across Middle-earth all day can really wreak havoc on my hair. So every morning after I wash my hair, I use a deep conditioner. It makes my hair feel soft and silky, and look sexy. So use Pears Deep Cleaning Shampoo and Pears Deep Conditioner, and your hair could look and feel like mine.
(whispers quietly - Well, not really. I am an Elf, after all.)
Director: Cut! Legolas, how many times do I have to tell you. We are trying to SELL this product.
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My webpage is brought to you today by: the letters L-O-T-R and by Clairol Nice and Easy Hair Color.
Gimli: After living in mines for many years, I noticed that my hair and beard color looked dull and lifeless. So I used Clairol Nice and Easy - Red.
Now my hair is a vibrant red, with highlights and lustre. I can run my fingers through my hair and beard with ease. It makes braiding my beard so easy.
Try it today.
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My webpage is brought to you today by: the letters F-O-T-R and by Tide with Bleach.
Gandalf: Galadriel, how do you get your whites so white? Mine always look grey.
Galadriel: I use Tide with Bleach. It makes your colors brighter, and your whites whiter. But since I only wear white, it keeps them nice and white. You should try it.
(after a couple of washes)
Gandalf: Look at my robes! They are so white they are blinding. And it helped to whiten my hair too.
Galadriel: Gandalf! It's for clothes only. You aren't supposed to use it to bleach your hair! But...it does look good.
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My webpage is brought to you today by: The Green Dragon and good friends.
Merry: After a hard days work...
Pippin: You work Merry? (snicker snicker)
Merry: Yes, I do Pip. Loadin' and lighin' a pipe is hard work. Anyway, as I was saying...After a hard days work I like to go down to the pub...
Pippin: Can I come too, Merry?
Merry: Of course Pip. Will you let me finish?...I like to go down to the pub with a few friends to have a pint of ale.
Pippin: They come in pints?!
Merry: Pip and me, we like to go to The Green Dragon. They let us sing and dance on tables. We're the life of the party! But it's not all about good times and ale. It's all about great friendships.
Pippin: ...But I like the ale.
Merry: I like the ale too. But, Pip, I also like you.
(raises ale mug)
To great friendships. Cheers!
Pippin: Cheers! Mmm. That's good ale.
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My webpage is brought to you today by: circles and rings.
Frodo: After coming back from Mordor, I found myself obsessed with circles and round objects.
For the life of me, I don't know why.
When I found myself stressed, I would watch the water-wheel, at the mill, go around for hours. I would even stare into the sun, so I could see circle spots when I closed my eyes. But when I started to rub Sam's wedding ring, he decided to do something.
He told me there were foods that might help. After all, he said, Hobbits and food go together.
So now I eat alot of onion rings, donuts, and dried apple rings. I even started to draw circles and rub my finger around them. That helps alot.
So what I'm saying is that shiny gold rings are great for stress relief.
Did I just say 'gold rings'?
Silly me.
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