Variations On A Theme Of Mapplethorpe
By The Toasty-Fried Co-Op

    Photography. Why?
     Now we can explain: Some images appear larger in black mirrors than in real ones. Photography utilizes distortion as emotion utilizes pain. Try viewing the Mapplethorpe photograph "Nude Descending Nude During the Final Episode of Paranoia". Not one of you can do even partial viewings without breaking attention. This painful experience, nevertheless, creates artistic deviants; an illegal, difficult process.
     Darkroom attendants must wash photographs in hypo (a smelly substance). Dirty jobs, but someone has to prevent photographs from becoming smutty.
     Mapplethorpe avoids darkroom attendants. He creates illusions with spermicidal radiation and sensitive subjects. These include deity abolitionists, aetheistic evangelists, and civilian rabbis. Homosexual erotic, (not THAT homosexual erotica) occurs frequently during Mapplethorpe's photographic endeavors. Many strong odors can exude from even insensitive subjects, causing extreme arousal among those pesky darkroom attendants.
      Art (sometimes confused with beauty) consists of vulgar attempts to elicit cash flow by Mapplethorpe (at least Jesse Helms thinks so). In 1978, while studying images by pornographers, Mapplethorpe aspired to create emotional chaos by photographing disgustingly alert sleepers. One sixtieth of a Mapplethorpe second equals perhaps several Jesse Helms epochs (in which life as we know it could never morphose).
     "Hark, y'all!" Billy Bob sputtered. "These here pictures remind me of the night Jimmy Carter fought Nancy Sinatra for a seat in the bus. Boy, I ain't never seen so much fussin' over a little thing!"
     The decision: Art (not THAT art) shall remain nameless; Mapplethorpe notwithstanding.
     The End

Return to Toasty-Stories Index
Return to Musings Index
Return to Main Page