Life with Jack
By Tom Harris and Michael Griffin

    Once in a while, we enjoy making festive movies with our camera, which is portable. We take footage of famous buildings. Our favorite buildings are in ruins because they are very old. They look as if a large meteor had split upon impact with the buildings, destroying the entire landscape.
     With our camera, we make other people shoot footage of us doing our exercises. We love Jack LaLane because he is old and yet, full of insane ideas about how to recreate Pompeii out of popsicle sticks and glue. We wish he'd put his clothes into a basket of old tires and trot nude into the arena.
     The arena, which we built, is full of old rubber bands and a pit of vicious lions. We hope Jack doesn't step on the trap we've set for the lions, but we hid it too well, and he'll probably find it anyway. We will regret any injury we've inflicted, however, he asked for it! He is old enough to be our priest! He looks just like our stuffed animal collection, especially when he is furry and on speed.
     The television show we made with Jack is a soap opera! It is very boring, yet delightful to avoid. We would rather eat raw eggs benedict pie with prune-flavored ice cream. Then we would go home and watch re-runs of Mary Hartman, Mary Hartman until our teeth become yellow like golden cookies.
     No human can resist cookies, so you should help our cause by giving our company more money to make movies.

                                          The End

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