My Milwaukee Trip
By Michael Griffin and Tom Harris

    A large automobile zoomed by my house one day, and it screeched its tires at the stop sign, where several children frollicked boisterously. This was the beginning of a very strange day.
     The telephone was ringing, and I was busy, so I didn't have time to answer it, so I let it ring for four days. After it rang for four days, it stopped ringing, and I left my home to go to my place of employment and I collected my pay. I was on drugs, so i was in agony. I was planning on going shopping, but fate would intervene.
     I was to stay with friends in Milwaukee, so I bought a lot of cheese, so I could be generous to my friends for their hospitality. My friends were out, so I ate the cheese alone and never regretted it. I waited patiently for several days, but they never showed up. They didn't even live where they said they did! A police officer told me I was trespassing, so he took me home and my cat bit him on his ankle. The officer gave me some friendly advice.
     "Never eat cheese in Milwaukee again!"
      I was sad. I promised to never eat cheese again. My cat promised never to eat policemen again.
     "Thank you for the ride, it was swell!" I later said, "You were a big, fuzzy cat-lover, but I will pay to fix you if you need fixing."
     "Thank you," said the officer.
     When he left, my cat said, "Cops taste awful! I'll never bite one again!"
     We then went to bed, and turned off the lights.

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