A Religious Story
By The Toasty-Fried Co-Op

   My belly-button is full of Jell-o. My mouth gapes wide and silence engulfs us. Horseradish covers ears that grow trapidly beneath my bed. Avacados congregate beneath my feet.
     Battleships is boring eternally. However, when horseradish coagulates upon my belly-button lint, miracles occur!
      Priests' robes fluctuate according to contents, accordingly. They fluctuate rapidly during mass. My granny fluctuated wildly under electricity during mass, while chanting "Robes away, infidels!"
     Saliva bubbles out of my alternate tubes tastefully, negotiating my treaty. Granny and Jesus spent weekends together with my priest and God while excommunicating Pope Pius V. Gramps also excommunicated the cardinal sins, "Howdy Doody, single-packed butter, Gomer Pyle, walermelon and Pee-wee Herman."
     Stripes grow horizontally. Also horizontal positions gravitate towards heaven. Headlights illuminate many icons which otherwise would be blue-tinted.
     Granny and Jesus died faithfully, publically repudiating previous icons of immortality. Gramps died, rejoicing spiritual revenge. I died too many ways to mention. My mother, Theresa, blessed steamships on weekends.

                                                              --- The End --
    

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