A THOUSAND SHADES OF FEELING CHAPTER 5

From his hiding place in the trees, he watched Merlin step out onto the porch and grind the sleep from her eyes. Judging from the way she was walking, he guessed that she hadn't been awake very long. As soon as she'd closed the chicken coop door behind her, he ran for the kitchen door. He peeked in the window to be sure Morrigan wasn't there and was relieved to find the room empty. He eased the door open, stepped quietly inside and grinned when he saw the half-full coffee pot. Knowing the machine had a pause feature, he eased the carafe out after taking a vial of clear liquid from his pocket. Mixing the coffee and the vial's contents thoroughly, he replaced the carafe and went back to the door. Checking to be sure that the way was clear, he left as quietly as he'd snuck in and was hidden by the time Merlin emerged from the chicken coop.

Morrigan came downstairs just as the coffee pot filled and Merlin washed the last egg. Morrigan inhaled the brew's scent appreciatively and wrapped her arms around Merlin's trim waist.

"Morning sleepyhead. I fed the girls and collected the eggs...What?" Merlin could feel the writer's body shaking as she laughed into her back.

"The...girls?"

"I'm bonding okay?" Merlin tried to sound hurt, but it was difficult to feign insult when she was chuckling. Morrigan eventually regained control and hugged Merlin gently before releasing her.

"Your bed doesn't look slept in, where'd you sleep last night?"

As the blond took her customary place at the table, Merlin poured while she answered. "I got to thinking after you went to bed, and eventually moved to the sofa when the floor got too hard. I don't know what time I fell asleep, but the sun woke me up. Which is why I was out with the GIRLS so early." Merlin let a smile slide across her face as she handed Morrigan her mug. "I think Gabrielle and I are really starting to bond..."

Morrigan lost it and spit coffee across the table. "Who?"

"Gabrielle. She's the one with one brown wing and the attitude, Xena has a dark pattern on her chest feathers..."

"Please don't tell me that you've named all the chickens from my dreams."

"Not yet." Merlin smiled sheepishly. "Although if you had a rooster, we could call him Aries..."

"I am NOT getting a rooster Merlin. End of discussion. Geez, the coffee's kind of strong there Merl...make it with your eyes closed?"

"Pretty much...Here have some honey."

"Why thank you sweetie." Morrigan grinned at the look on Merlin's face. "What? Honey...sweetie...you don't like humour?"

"Not when it came off the ark, no. Hand me some of that please, this does need sweetening. Ughh."

With the binoculars he could see them sitting at the table talking, but he couldn't make out the words. He looked at his watch again and tried to be patient. Soon they would both be his to do as he wished. An evil, malicious grin oozed across his features as his twisted mind imagined the dark haired one under him, in anticipation he licked his lips and raised the glasses again.

"Oh by the way, I invited Verne out for dinner tonight. I thought we'd have barbeque and beer..."

"Does that mean I have to be on my best behavior? No ravishing the cook? No leacherous grins, no...Morr? You alright?"

"Um...I...yeah. I'm okay. Weak from no food and strong coffee I guess. I don't know how we should handle...Verne and the change in our...I don't feel very good Merlin..."

"When was the last time you saw a doctor? You're pale and sweaty." Merlin reached over to feel the writer's forehead and ignored her own lurching stomach. "Maybe you've got a touch of the flu or something. C'mon, I'll help you back to bed."

With Merlin supporting her, Morrigan made it up three stairs before she passed out. It was very gradual for her, but to Merlin it seemed as though all of Morrigan's bones just turned to jelly. She caught her easily, but her stomach lurched wildly. At the bottom of the stairs Merlin took a deep breath and prayed her stomach would hold out until she got Morrigan to the sofa. She no more had Morrigan laid out comfortably on the leather sofa, than she felt her guts clench ominously. Merlin dashed for the stairs, one hand clamped over her mouth, but at the top of the staircase her knees felt like rubber and the hallway grew dark. Merlin's last conscious thought was of Morrigan alone and ill downstairs, even as her long arm reached for the railing Merlin lost consciousness.

He looked at his watch again and nodded. He stood up and stretched out cramped muscles rubbing his bristly chin in anticipation. He strolled into the house content and safe in the knowledge that he'd drugged them pretty thoroughly. He found Merlin at the top of the stairs, lifted her over a shoulder, carefully maneuvered downstairs, and out to the barn. Not long after, he came back for Morrigan.

Merlin could hear her mother calling to her gently but she shook her head.
'Un nng Mom, not ready to wake up yet.'

'Merlin Alwyn, are you defying me?'

Merlin groaned as she listened to her mother's voice scold her. 'No Mother, I'm just not ready to...'

'Your friend needs you Merlin, wake up now.' Her mother's voice was persistent but gentle.

'My friend...Morrigan...' Merlin struggled to regain consciousness. She was instantly sorry she did. The sight that awaited her made her guts churn again and Merlin bit her tongue to keep control.

"Oh God...Morrigan..."

The toned blond had been suspended on a cross of wood, tied to the rough lumber at her wrists and elbows. Her head was slumped forward on her chest and her breathing was deep and even.

"Well at least you're still out." Merlin mumbled as she surveyed her own position. She'd been trussed up much like Morrigan, tied at the elbows and wrists, and was beginning to hope her arms would go numb soon. The more she strained to reach the ropes at her wrists, the more the rope chafed and bit at her skin. In frustration and pain, Merlin stopped struggling and started thinking.

"What would Athyn do if she were in this situation?" Merlin mumbled to herself while looking around the barn. "She'd probably launch that breast dagger that Morrigan told me about...'Course, I don't happen to have one conveniently tucked away. I don't even have my gun..."

"Even if you did have it, you couldn't get to it trussed up like that." Morrigan's voice was raspy and raw sounding, but she tried to smile bravely at Merlin.

"Hey..." Merlin's voice was soft. "You okay?"

"My arms feel as though they're being pulled from their sockets, but other than that just peachy...You?"

"My stomach seems to be doing the foxtrot. Some bodyguard...It must have been the coffee...I guess we'll know soon enough who's after you."
Morrigan was quiet, but whether her silence was prompted by pain, fear or discomfort Merlin couldn't tell. Someone had managed to drug them, most likely in the coffee, Merlin mused. The only time they would have been able to do that was when she'd been out collecting the eggs. "Ahhhh damn, that's why it was so bitter...The knockout drug!"

"The question is, what do we do now?" Morrigan asked from her perch.

"I don't know yet. You pray?"

Morrigan raised one eyebrow in a jerky, shrugging movement. "Mostly to my mother..."

"Now might be a good time to pray for help."

Merlin was interrupted by a shaft of light from the doorway and a male voice. "About time you woke up..."

Both women's heads whipped around to face their captor.
"Mark?!" Morrigan's green eyes were wide with disbelief. "Why?"

"Why?" Morrigan's ex-husband laughed as he echoed her question. "Why? Ask yourself this. Why did our marriage die like a burnt out match? Why did we drift apart?" Mark stood between the crosses, but facing Morrigan. "You forget who stopped fulfilling their end of the marriage, who changed everything..."

Merlin watched Mark carefully, trying to see some weakness. He was short and stocky, but muscular. He was moving jerkily and pacing like caged animal between the crosses, and then seemed to remember Merlin. He stopped in front of her, peering up at her with watery eyes and nodding slightly. Merlin waited for him to make the first move.

"So you're her new...friend are you? I suppose she's told you all about my failings as a husband, how I walked out on her, she's probably told you everything..."

Merlin would have shrugged if she could have. "No, not really."

He turned to face Morrigan again. "They told me it wasn't my fault...They told me it was you...But I couldn't stay..."A twitchy smile crossed his face. "But you know what? It's my turn now. They said I would have vengeance and here you are."

"Who Mark? Who told you it wasn't your fault?"

"You'll find out soon enough...soon enough." Nodding, Morrigan's ex-husband walked away from them and out the door; slamming it closed behind him.

"I don't know what to say Merlin. He wasn't like that when we were together. He was more...peaceful. When we were newlyweds we would sit in front of the fire reading for hours, we'd talk about politics and art, our memories of being childhood friends. The person he is now...he's not who I married at all."

"People change Morr. Sometimes without notice. Don't take it personally, that's what he wants."

Morrigan looked down at her dangling feet and winced. "I wish he'd given us something to stand on..."

"But that would defeat the purpose, wouldn't it?" Morrigan's attention shifted from her feet to Merlin. "It seems to me that Mark feels the need for revenge, or payback of some kind. Obviously he wants you to be uncomfortable...Any idea why?"

Morrigan sighed deeply and let her eyes drift shut. She tried to recall the last months she and Mark had been together, but the burn in her shoulders made it difficult to concentrate. She remembered how it had felt when she realized they had drifted in separate directions. She'd been saddened by the truth of it but at the time, Mark had seemed to understand. True, he had decided to leave her, but she hadn't disputed his decision at the time.

Merlin felt badly for Morrigan. She could sense her friend's confusion, she could see that being hung from her arms was hard on Morrigan but Merlin could see no way out. She briefly wallowed in despair and felt a wave of grief wash over her. How were they going to get out of this if she couldn't move her hands? No sooner had she started to panic than the logical side of her overrode her fear.
'All right woman, get a grip! You aren't doing either of you any good by letting your emotions get the better of you.' Merlin chastised herself until the fear was under control. She opened her eyes to find Morrigan looking desperately at her.

"You okay?"

"My stomach is still queasy." Merlin fibbed. She knew Morrigan was counting on her to be strong, now was not the time to admit her fear. There would be time for that later...if they got out of this.

"Morrigan, what's your favorite childhood memory?"

"What?"

"I mean it, what's the best childhood memory you have?"

"Uh...When I was twelve we lived on an island that was wild and overgrown. We had two horses, five dogs and a weasel..."

"A weasel?"

"A baby weasel had been abandoned, and he was making these mewling sounds like he was hungry...so my mother adopted him and fed him bits of bread soaked in milk. She made a nest out of an old towel and that night put the weasel back where she'd found him, the next morning the baby was gone. I like to think that his mother came back to reclaim him..."

Merlin smiled; glad she was able to divert Morrigan's attention. "How big was this island?"

"For a twelve year old tomboy, it was huge. When I grew up I learned that it was only seventeen acres but then, that was pretty close to being almost my whole world. I was able to go wading in the river, I adopted a turtle for awhile, we had to share the island with a small pack of wolves...It was the best time of my life." The faraway look in Morrigan's eyes faded and she looked across at Merlin.

"What about you?"

"My uncle had to stay with us for awhile just after I went into high school." Merlin smiled warmly at the floor as she pursued the memory. "He was a biker with one of the bigger clubs in the city and on weekends, he and a few of the others would work on their Harley's in our yard. Mom ran a tight ship; they were welcome as long as they went by the rules. No getting drunk, no drugs and no parties loud enough to disturb the neighbors. They respected her and were mindful of the rules; she only ever had to throw one of them out on his ear." Merlin chuckled deep in her chest. "You should have seen her...this little woman not even five feet tall pulling on a big, burly biker's ear and kicking him in the seat of his pants as she shoved him out the door...My uncle used to take me for rides out to the lake on his Harley on the weekends...I lived for the weekend then."

"Do you still see him?"

"Not anymore. He got married and settled down. They moved to Florida just after my Mother's funeral..."

"Get ready to join her bitch, 'cause that's where you're headed." Mark growled as he came back into the barn. He stepped between their crosses and turned to face Merlin with an ugly expression.

"Do you know what she wrote about you?" He jerked his thumb over his shoulder at Morrigan. "She thinks you're special, did you know that? Her soul mate..." Mark turned to face Morrigan abruptly. "I heard you panting like some kind of wild beast with her...is that why you changed? You just woke up one day and decided you didn't love me anymore, was that it? Or did you prefer women all along? Was our marriage a sham from the beginning? Did you ever love me?"

Merlin tried to reach him with her legs, gritting her teeth against the pain shooting from her arms and shoulders, but he was too far away. Mark felt the air behind him move and he turned to face Merlin once more.

"Nice try but I purposely set the two of you that far apart." He walked behind Merlin's cross and out of her sight. "I knew that this barn was big enough...what?" He fell silent for a breath or two. "Oh...yes, I should..."

Merlin felt a tight band cross her shins and she looked down to see Mark wiring her legs to the cross. Out of reflex, she tried kicking out but the wire bit cruelly into her flesh and she was forced to be still. When her captor came into her line of sight, she noticed he was holding something behind his back.

Cocking his head as if listening to a radio, he nodded. "Yeah...I'd like to see that too."

He stepped within arms reach of Merlin and leered up at her, taking a hunting knife from his back pocket
.
"Mark! No!" Morrigan burst out. "Why are you doing this? You killed them didn't you? Oboe, the chicken and the kitten...Why? Mark leave her alone!"

Mark reached up and cut Merlin's t-shirt and boxers away.

"Those were my comfiest p.j's you bastard." Merlin growled at him.

"You really think you'll be needing them when I'm done with you? Think again, slut." He sneered and walked behind her cross again.

Merlin shivered and tried not to wonder what he was going to do.

Morrigan gasped when she saw Mark pick up a long, coiled object.

"Mark, no...Why are you doing this? It's me you're upset with, not her. Let her go..."

Still standing out of Merlin's sight, Mark looked Morrigan in the eye. "Let her go? So she can come after me? I don't think so babe...Besides, knowing how much she means to you makes her useful to me. You really want to know why I'm doing this?" He thought briefly as he strolled in front of Merlin's cross. "Because it's time you felt the pain I felt when you turned away from me. The further you drifted away, the guiltier I felt, and the more ashamed I was that I couldn’t keep my wife. You took away someone I cared about, you, until I had no choice other than to go insane staying or keep my pride and leave." He let the whip unfurl behind him. "It's payback time..." His ominous words were no sooner out than he flung his arm toward Merlin.

She had no time to flinch or brace herself for the lash. Her body was suddenly on fire and every muscle jumped with pain and shock, the wire bit into her shins and added it's own burn and made Merlin gasp. Mark laughed and lashed out again. This time Merlin tensed against the blow, and although this one hurt just as much, she clenched her jaws together and robbed Mark of the satisfaction of hearing her pain. He growled and put more force behind the whip. Merlin's every sense was grimly sharp. She could hear Morrigan tearfully begging for Mark to stop, she could hear the sharp whistle of the leather as it cut through the air. She wished ferverently for numbness but felt the wire bite deeper, the lash cut through sensitive skin, the blood began to trickle... Even her sense of smell was keen and sent her brain information in layers. She could smell the sweet hay; a foul muskiness she assumed was Mark and the tangy scent of the barn
.
"Morr...igan...listen to me." Merlin's voice came out as little more than a croak. "Listen ...he wants to hear you beg, so don't give him the satisfaction, don't beg. Don't look at him, look at me. Look past the whip into my eyes..."

Morrigan stopped pleading and did as Merlin told her. Green eyes bored into blue, flinching when the whip sang out again but not wavering. By the tenth lash it was becoming too much for Morrigan and she'd started to plead with Mark for mercy again
.
"Morr...concentrate...on me..." Merlin spoke through teeth clenched as tightly as a wound spring. "Let me look..." The whip came down again and flicked blood into the air. "...and see your strength..."

Merlin couldn't finish, but Morrigan understood. She held her head straighter and prouder, and the emerald fire that had first attracted Merlin came to life again. After the fifteenth lash, Mark cursed and threw the blood-flecked leather to the floor and stormed out the door. Merlin waited until the door had slammed shut behind him, and only then succumbed to the inviting nothingness and surrendered consciousness.