Thirty-fourth day of Spring, Year of the Bear. (Evening) [3/20/02]
My fears for NaShae were well-founded. She’s not taking it well. I tried to speak to her just a few minutes ago, and she was nearly choked with her own tears. She wouldn’t speak to me due to her grief, I assume. As near as I can tell, she’s now in the stables. A man who came in earlier and fainted for reasons I didn’t catch went out to comfort her--I believe his name is Treble. What could have caused his collapse weighs heavily on my mind. The others spoke to him when he woke up, but since he seemed to be alright I became involved in picking the best spot to paint the marks on my shield. The wolf arrested my attention as well. I’m thankful I brought the stencil that Master Shantus used to paint it so I can have it on my next shield as well. I eavesdropped on the other patrons of the inn for some time, learning what I could. Then I became distracted with thoughts I’ll put to paper later.
At least I’ve found the time to paint the marks on. They are just as I’d intended them to be. Unless someone knows their significance, they should mean naught to them. I spoke the annotation over them like Gray Master taught me when crafting a reminder.
There still seems to be no news of where Cog might be. And whatever came into the inn hasn’t been scented or sighted since.
Gray Master and Master Shantus told me that I should seek a temple of Agathalos, and I understand there is one in this city, I’m not sure that it is to be trusted. The tenor of the dealings between the regime and the temple is something that I must discover before I commit myself either way to it. Masters never took me to a temple. Worship and meditation have always been conducted in our own time, although with an alter, even a small one. I don’t know if the priests will give me the aid I need to perform my duty, as that duty could involve a confrontation at best or a coup d’eta at worst of these new lords. Later I’ll look into it. My primary concern right now is--
I’m unsure about what task I should hold in highest regard right now. The start of my career hasn’t had a good beginning, what with Arnor’s death and the fact that I’m unsure of what to do to give his spirit justice. I feel like a small fish who is in a mill pond with a great many pikes. I’ve been asking myself, “What would Gray Master and Master Shantus do?” I suspect that they would begin looking for reasons and ways to undermine this new regime that’s come to the city while I was away. But the validity of that action is something I haven’t been able to fathom yet. I doubt that the atrocities of yesterday were an isolated incident, but I must look into it else I’ll act rashly. Masters always taught me that haste can destroy the most meticulously-laid actions--Gray Master with the wisdom in his voice and library and Master Shantus with the sinew in his arm and the flat of his blade. Father taught me something about that, too. He showed me how a piece of ironwork can be ruined in two hammer-strokes if those strokes are made in haste.
I’m also unsure of what Masters would think of me if they could see me now. I believe they would possibly scold due to the fact that I’ve done so little of what I set out to do. And if Master Shantus could feel my hand, I know for certain I would earn hard words and a cuff: My sword calluses are beginning to soften. I’ve not swung it since arriving. The temple would provide me a place to practice, I’m sure, but there again is the question of the temple’s trustworthiness. Aria requested an exhibition of my prowess, perhaps I’ll grant her request, for my sake as much as hers.
Another thing: I think I may now owe the inn money for my rent, although I’m beginning to worry about my funds. I’ll settle with them tomorrow, and perhaps pay for some time in advance. Depending on how things develop with the temple, I may lodge and sup elsewhere. Somehow I hope not yet, however. I’ve become fond of the others. I feel they are my allies, friends, and support in a hostile land. And if things in this city are nearly as bad as they seem, then I have a great amount of work to do and I will need all the help I can get.
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