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The rumor mills have been flooded. This being an expansion year has many stories flying around the spring training facilities. The new team has been rumored to signed "the 1" Duance, Nick "not so single" Sim, and all tackle team Brad "get the fuck out of my way" Buss. These players were not protected in the off season. Pretty Tony aka the 2 has been seen working out in the mexican mush ball league in an attempt to make the team. "All I am looking for is one more season in the sun. One more season filled with cool, refreshing Miller Lite." In an unrelated story, Miller Lite has shown significant stock loss over the last five weeks, but the company is looking for big gains this quarter with the General returning. There is also some new rookies that are expected to make an impact. The biggest news was the F.A.C.'s acquiring Dakota "boom boom" Einfeldt in a trade for the rights to a future 18th round draft pick. "I am just happy to get out of a situation surrounded by such an aboundace of RSG. I was starting to get worried that I was going to catch the fatal illness. Once you get RSG, there is no going back. You are an RSG for life. I am only thankful that I followed the safety tips put out last fall," Mr. Shortstop Dakota E. P.J. "ack Daniels" Runge may also be coming out of retirement. "I said that it was only 99.9% sure that I would not come back. I have been talking to Danny and he wants to see if we can still play the game." Also rumored to come out of retirement is Bill Johnson, the one time first baseman and counter part to a powerful lineup. There was an early cut, with DJ "the thief" Lorezel unable to attend camp due to previous commitments to the penial league. Look out for the excitable, intoxicating bunch this year. Ladies are welcome, just look out for 8 mile fouling one off towards your face. This is Chauncy, signing off. |
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