Xena and Gabrielle are in centaur territory which Xena almost took over once because she wanted the Ixion stone. The Ixion stone contains all the centaur's evil, the dude who made centaurs chose to make them noble. Now there's this warlord named Dagnine who wants to find it and use it's powers. Xena goes there to stop him and meets an old "friend". A centaur named Kaleipus who Xena met years ago when she wanted to take the centaur land. Xena then says that she is not there for anything or anyone. Then a boy jumps out of the trees saying that he wants to kill Xena because she killed his father Borais. Kaleipus tells the boy to go home. Gabrielle asks Xena if she knows him, and Xena says that that was her son. Xena tells Gabrielle that many years ago, she told Kaleipus that if he took care of her AND Borais' son, then she would leave them alone. She didn't want for him to become a target for her enemies, to see things a child should never see, for her son to become like her. Kaleipus promised and kept Solan safe. Dagnine then finds out about Solan. Xena then talks to Solan at his "parents" grave. He's been told that both his mother and father are dead and Xena killed them both. Later on, Solan and Gabrielle are attacked, but Gabrielle gets hit and the men take Solan. Xena then talks to Dagnine(who was one of her soilders),so he will give back her son. He refuses to do so, Xena knocks him cold and takes the keys. Xena gets Solan out of the cage he was in, but they fall through thin ground into the Ixion caverns. As they make their way through the cave, they find where the stone should have been, but wasn't. Borais found the stone, and put it somewhere else so Xena couldn't have gotton it. Gabrielle finds Xena, and they are getting out of the cave when Solan drops his father's sword and a green stone falls off. The Ixion stone. Dagnine gets it, turns into this ugly centuar, fights with Xena, then tells her that he was the one who killed Borais. She kills him, then goes to talk to Solan by a river. She is about to tell Solan who she really is, but decides to say that they are friends. Solan then tosses his sword into the water saying he didn't want to be a warrior anymore. Xena says that his mother would be proud of him, then walks away fighting back the tears.
DISCLAIMER: No sleezy warlords who deem it necessary to drink elixirs that turn them into scary creatures were harmed during the production of this motion picture.
Princess Diana and her husband have a baby, and her father is very ill. The king has sent for Xena to help with the transition from him as King to Diana as Queen. A fellow named Agis steps in with a 3rd Xena look-a-like. Joxer is in a tavern telling stories when Gabrielle walks in and says that Xena said to meet her at this tavern tomorrow. Xena is in Thebes. Joxer says that she was there, and left for the palace. Xena was let into the palace and brought Agis with her, only it's not Xena, it's a look-a-like who is a tramp and is called Meg. Agis dressed her up as Xena. Meg tells Diana that Agis is to be trusted. Gabrielle comes in saying stuff to Xena(Meg) and Xena(Meg) has Gabrielle thrown into the dungeon. Xena(Meg) then goes to Gabrielle's cell and tells her it's all part of a plan that she can't know about or else she'll have a thousand tortures upon her. Joxer then goes to the castle and wanders around, sees Diana, and thinking she's Meg, grabs her. He gets thrown into the dungeon. Xena then goes to the tavern where Gabrielle was supposed to be. Some guys come up to saying that they "want" her like Joxer "had" her. She gets rid of them and several people that tried to "kill" her. She makes it to the castle to find Diana crying. She tries to tell Diana that there is trouble because she was attacked, but Diana says she can't talk because her father got worse. But Meg is Diana and Agis has Diana. Joxer then sees Xena and makes a pass at her, she asks him if he's suicidal. Xena pulls him into a side room, then overhears Agis and Diana(Meg). They hear the whole plot; Xena now knows that there is a 3rd Xena look-a-like. When the coast is clear, she goes and gets Gabrielle. OK, she says, a 3rd Xena everything make sense. Xena and Gabrielle then set up Agis to find Diana. Xena dresses like Diana, but posses as Meg. She ties up Gabrielle and tells one of Agis' henchmen to go and put Gabrielle where they put Diana. Meg(Xena) then loosens Gabrielle's ties so she can get away. Diana and Philamon now safe, she goes to find Agis who has the baby. When Xena goes to get it, Agis comes around so Xena kisses Joxer to convince Agis that she is Meg. They then go about plotting how they are going to kill the King. Meg tells Gabrielle the story of her life. She's been on her own since she was 10; her father died while in childbirth (because he got drunk when she was being born and fell off a roof!),Gabrielle feels sorry for her. Then the king stumbles in because Diana hasn't been in to see him; and Diana(Meg) pretends she's his daughter. Agis then comes in and tells Meg to kill the king. But, she won't do it. Diana(Meg) saves the king, and takes him to his chambers. After, Xena(for real) goes to them, and tells Diana(Meg) to stay with the king and keep him safe. So she stays and tells the king her life, including the fact that once she held a decent job, as a cook, but she used too much spice. She likes spicey food. Then Agis, who still has the baby, hauls the bassinet above a flame and dangles it from a rope. Xena(Diana) comes to get the baby, and says she's going to chop them up with her round killing thing. Agis then grabs her and still has the baby. Xena(Meg) pulls out her "shamrock", too, and it breaks in half. Xena (still dressed as Diana), comes in and saves everyone. The King dosen't die and give Meg a job as a cook. Xena, Gabrielle & Joxer go to leave; Meg tells them goodbye at the gate and tells Joxer to back quickly. He is about to leave, but at Xena' urging, goes back to Meg.
DISCLAIMER: Neither Xena nor her remarkably coincidental identical twin, Diana, were harmed during the production of this motion picture. Meg, however, suffered minor injuries while preparing Aardvark nuggets for King Lias.
Xena starts having nightmares about Callisto's death, and how she might have been able to prevent it. In the dreams she sees her mother, Ares, Callisto, and even Gabrielle blaming her for Callisto's death. There is a thin line between dreams and the underworld, and the dead can playupon deep guilt. Callisto and Ares have been invading Xena's dreams, and now she's in a dreamscaped Tartus. They get her to admit her guilt and she's whired into a rock and goes into Callisto's body. Now Gabrielle is with Callisto, but thinks it's Xena. Argo knows that there is something wrong and wants nothing to do with Xena(Callisto). Xena(Callisto) then teaches Gabrielle how to kill with her staff because she calims that after Callisto's death, she couldn't kill anymore. Xena(Callisto) then attaches a knife to the end of Gabrielle's staff after she hit Xena(Callisto) in the stomach really hard. She tells Gabrielle to go on ahead that she will tend to Argo, but instead hits Argo with her sword. Callisto(Xena) convinces Hades that she really is Xena and he gives her a day to set things straight above. First thing she sees is argo with Xena(Callisto's) wound. But Argo is not dead. She is cleaning Argo up when Joxer shows up here. He tries to protect the horse until he is convinced that Callisto(Xena) is really Xena. Callisto(Xena) catches up to Xena(Callisto) and Gabrielle is no where to be found. They fight and Callisto(Xena) ends up on top of Xena(Callisto), suddenly Gabrielle is at her back, with her pointed staff at Callisto's(Xena) neck. Callisto(Xena) convinces Gabrielle of her true being, but Xena(Callisto) gets away. Callisto(Xena) then takes off the knife on the staff. Xena(Callisto) walks into a camp of warlords. Theodorus says that she won't hurt them because of her new code, Xena(Callisto) walks up to him a kills him. She then tells the others to kidnap the entire town of Amphipolis and bring them back to the cave. Callisto(Xena) Gabrielle and Joxer go to the caves to save them all. Xena(Callisto) wants to burn the people, so she starts throwing oil at them, Callisto(Xena) starts to fade, and throws a dart at Xena(Callisto) who then falls asleep. So both Xena and Callisto are back in the dreamworld Tartarus. So Callisto(Xena) and Xena(Callisto) end up in the dreamworld area of Tartarus again.Callisto(Xena) plays on Xena(Callisto)'s guilt, even though she says she has none. After all, the dead can hear your thoughts. Callisto's mother appears, and then soon she is surrounded by all of her victims. The Xena(Callisto) body smashes into the same rock that Xena did before.
DISCLAIMER: Argo was not harmed during the prooduction of this motion picture. However, she is undergoing intensive psychotherapy to help her work through her resentment and feelings of distrust toward Xena.
DISCLAIMER: No one was harmed during the production of this motion picture. However, Xena's ability to recover her body was severely impeded by Lucy Lawless' unexpected mishap.
This is a Charles Dickens spin off. There is this old king, who doesn't allow the people to celebrate Solstice becasue that was the day his queen left him. Xena and Gabrielle are buying presents for each other, when a boy steals Xena's chakram, she follows him to an orphanage. They find the chakram on top of a Christmas tree, and ask for it back; the children believe it is an ornament and ask what else is it for. Suddenly soldiers burst in with an order to pay 1000 dinars in taxes or be evicted by midnight; Xena gets her chakram and shows exactly what it's used for. The scribe who went with the soilders is taken aside by Gabrielle; he is Senticles a toy maker who was put out of business by the king. Gabrielle tells the children a tale like A Christmas Carol, but it doesn't have a happy ending. She then turns to Xena and asks if they could change the ending. Xena reluctantly agrees. Gabrielle goes off to get the clothing they need to pull off the stunt, she has 35 dinars. But instead she saves a donkey from an unfortutate fate. Xena goes to the castle, and finds a room where there's a cob-web covered tree and unopened presents beneath it. Xena then gets Senticles to help her. She finds him altering a few of the sentences so people will not have to work their life off paying their taxes. Xena dresses as Clotho, the 1st fate and takes the king to the room with the presents. There, Gabrielle(dresses as Analia) is hanging from a rope pretending to be the ghost of his wife. Xena gives the king a herb so he falls asleep and puts him back in his room. Gabrielle goes to find Senticles and finds all the toys he had left over from his previous occupation as a toy-maker. She finds a sheep that she used to play with as a child. She tells Senticles that they should give the toys to the orphanage. Senticles dresses in red with a white beard and hair. Xena appears as the 2ond fate. She has him dress in commener's clothing and they go to the orphanage. The children tell him what a miser thier king is. They sing carols for him; disgusted, he begins to leave but can't because the soilders are outside the building. They do not reconize him and he faints from the shock that the guards were going to attack him. The keeper of the orphanage asks if he is ok, and then a necklace falls out of hiding, Xena decides that the keeper should stay with the king while she would get the guards out. Gabrielle and Senticles then enter through the chimney. Gabrielle comes up with a version of Jingle Bells while clanging bells on 2 soilders heads. The king has woken up in the dungeon and sees a hooded woman by him, believing she is the 3rd fate, he pleads with her to give him another chance to make things right. Finally he gets out and sees the fighting above, he then joins in a pillow fight against the remaining soilders. The soldiers flee; the king says the children will not be evicted; his wife reveals herself and the king begs her forgiveness. Xena and Gabrielle go off again with Argo and Tobais(the donkey), they meet a couple with an infant, Gabrielle gives them Tobais. Xena then gives Gabrielle a sheep like the one she had when she was a child. Gabrielle says that she has no present for her, and Xena says: "You are my gift".
DISCLAIMER: Senticles was not harmed during the production of this motion picture. However, several chimneys are in dire need of repair.
DISCLAIMER: No Hollywood producers were harmed during the production of this motion picture.
Xena and Gabrielle go to a beach where Salmoneus asked them to go, they meet up with him and he tells them that they have to enter Xena in a beauty contest because someone is trying to sabatoge the contest. There are 3 kings sponsering women in the pagent and the contest is held on a "neutral" king's land. If one of the contestants is killed or maimed, then the kings will go back to war. Xena enters as Miss Amphipolis wearing a blond wig and Gabrielle is her sponsor "The Marquessa". Salmoneus introduces Xena to a contestant who plays the harp. The harp is rigged to a set of crossbows and Xena saves her using her chakram. Xena goes to the steam bath, she is snubbed by all the girls there. She's the last one to leave and she is locked in, somehow she gets out( I'm not saying how). Later, Xena discovers that one of the contestants(the one who locked her in the steam room), is really a man! A cross dresser who has had a lot of shame in his life because he has very large breasts, he asks Xena not to reveal his secret, and she agrees. Later on, someone steals Xena's leather and other gear from a trunk in her room. Gabrielle is checking out each of the kings and during the visual march, someone says "That's Xena!" But the person that looks like Xena is the cross dresser who has on Xena's stuff. Xena and the cross dresser are in the top 5 with 3 other girls. Salmoneus then gives Xena a horrible dress to wear. Xena then fixes it with a knife. She practices her sword play for the talent part of the show. She hears crying, and offers some words of wisdom to the other contestants. While one of the contestants was charming a cobra, Xena sees that the platform is about to fall and she saves the girl. Xena then goes to see the other kings, ties them up, puts them under a table, and has the neutral king come to talk to her. He tells her that he's rigging everything because he needs another war so he can sell supplies to the kings. The other kings hear this. Miss Amphipolis wins the pageant, but she has withdrawn, the next 3 contestants also withdraw, leaving the cross dresser as the winner. S/he takes the crown and kisses Xena(now in regular atire).
DISCLAIMER: No ribbons were harmed during the production of this motion picture. However, several experienced severe motion sickness.
DISCLAIMER: Julius Caesar was not harmed during the production of this motion picture. However, the Producers deny any responsibility for any unfortunate acts of betrayal causing some discomfort.
Gabrielle is taking Xena's sarcophagus to Amphipolis so she can be buried with her brother as she wanted. Some thugs come along and attack Gabrielle because many people would pay a lot of money for Xena's dead body. Gabrielle beats them up and Iolaus helps her to finish the job. He doesn't know Xena is dead till Gabrielle starts to cry and he sees the litter. As Gabrielle continues on, she hears some noises and Amazons fall from the trees, they all salute Xena's coffin. Ephiny tells Gabrielle that Xena should have an Amazon funeral, and that Gabrielle should take her rightful place as Queen of the Amazons. Ephiny explains that Queen Melosa died in combat by the current ruler Velasca. Autolycus, steals the dagger of Helios. He is about to leave when Xena's spirit inhabits his body and has him take a map that leads to Ambrosia. She tells Autolycus that she eeds him to steal her body fom the Amazons before they burn it so she can return. He goes to the village and is working on getting Xena's body back. Gabrielle is talking to Velasca who wants for Gabrielle wo give the mask to her so she can take centuar land. She's a little power hungry. Gabrielle says she has to think about it and argees to let Xena be burned and bring her ashes to Amphipolis, the return to rule the Amazons. The Amazons are about to get Xena's body when Autolycus is caught, he tells Gabrielle that Xena is inside him, but she doesn't believe him. Suddenly, after they set fire to Xena's coffin, Autolyvus appears and "becomes" Xena with the abilty to whistle and catch a chakram. Gabrielle understand that Xena is in Autolycus and goes off with Autolycus. The Amazons divide into 2 camps, those who follow Gabrielle, and those who follow Velasca as ruler. Velasca has Gabrielle's followers locked up. Autolycus and Gabrielle stop, Gabrielle sends Xena's coffin down a river so they can pick it up by the Helios Temple where the Ambrosia is. Xena then speaks thru Autolycus, Gabrielle pictures Xena, and she apperas before her, Gabrielle starts to cry. Xena tells her that without the Ambrosia, she can't come back. They KISS!!! Now it's Gabrielle and Autolycus, they are about to follow the coffin when they are stopped by Velasca, she throws them in jail, but interrogates Autolycus, the dagger falls out of his boot, and she goes to the caves to become a god.Autolycus and Gabrielle escape while Ephiny goes to find Xena's body. At the cave, there are ropes leading up to the spot where the Ambrosia falls out while underneath there are spikes and fires. Xena goes into Gabrielle's body, and the Ambrosia falls on top of Gabrielle into the fire destroying it. Velasca falls onto the spikes. Gabrielle finds just a tiny bit left, and gives it to Xena who comes back. Then a bit of Ambrosia falls onto the rocks and Velasca's hand reaches up and gets it.
DISCLAIMER: Xena's body was not harmed during the production of this motion picture. However, it took weeks for Autolycus to get his swagger back.
Gabrielle is giving the title of Amazon Queen to Ephiny when Velasca appears having survived the spikes in Helios' tomb(THE QUEST). Several Amazons are about to finish her when she eats ambrosia and becomes a god. She begins to destroy everything she can so she can find Gabrielle and kill her. The Amazons begin to attack her, but soon find her power too much and retreat to the caves. Xena tells Gabrielle that she needs an immortal to fight an immortal, she tells her she knows where she can find one. Gabrielle is nervous becasue she's never been hunted before. Xena knows that Callisto is immortal, and goes to get her. Gabrielle protests, but Xena says it has to be cause she doesn't know where Hercules is at the moment. Xena goes to Callisto, and they fight for a bit, since Xena knows who has the ambrosia, Callisto argees to help them. Xena has to go to a village though, and tell the people who she is and was, how she destroyed Cirra and Callisto's soul. Velasca roams about trying to find Gabrielle and destroys things on her way. Xena, Gabrielle and Callisto lure Velasca into a canyon. Callisto then switches side which Xena expected, Velasca doesn't like Callisto so she throws into the rocks. Callisto gets very angry and switches back, Velasca then gets trapped beneath the rocks. Xena decides that a lava pit is the only way to solve the probelm. All 3 make camp, Gabrielle asks Callisto if she felt anything when Xena admitted her guilt, Callisto asked how long did it take for her husband to die. Ephiny and the rest try to trap Velasca to give Xena more time, but Velasca gets out of the trap in less than a second. She then turns herself into a whirlwind and follows the trio. The bridge is out, Velasca throws Xena across the bridge, and is about to take out Gabrielle when Callisto jumps on her back wanting the ambrosia, Gabrielle grabs it and tries to make it across the ropes. Gabrielle then falls but hangs onto the ropes, gives Callisto the stuff, and she becomes a god. She and Velasca fight, then Xena dives for Gabrielle while cutting the rope. The 2 gods fall into the lava.
DISCLAIMER: The reputation of the Amazon Nation was not harmed despite Velasca's overly radical adherance to an otherwise valid belief system.
Xena and Gabrielle are sleeping, they are about to be attacked when Xena wakes up. Xena throws a frying pan and pot at some of the bad guys. Gabrielle is still sleeping, so Xena jumps on a water skin squirting Gabrielle in the face. She gets her staff but gets hit. Xena then throws their last frying pan at the guy, it got dented. They find out that Zagreas wants them out of the way when he goes to destroy a village. That's when Xena decides they go there next. They pack up and Gabrielle is fussing about the pan, as they head for the village, a man named Hower comes to them from a different direction saying that Gareth is coming to his village threating to crush it. Xena flips a coin and says that they are going with Hower, but first they go fishing. Gabrielle keeps on trying to catch Xena off guard and hit her with her staff. Xena sees something different from this village than all the others. Gabrielle starts saying how it isn't different and why couldn't people line the road with Birch trees or someting when Xena says that no one is there. A woman carrying a goat comes running screaming at the goat. She just adores Xena, and tells her that she is Hower's girlfriend, alas Hower has fallen for Xena. Gabrielle and Xena then have a bath to figure out what they are going to do with Gareth. Gabrielle suggests that they use mirros, but Xena doesn't want to, she want's to be creative. She notices clouds, and says that the mirrors won't work, she "invents" a kite, and decides that she needs a lighting bolt to kill Gareth. Hower is running back and forth to carry messages from Xena to Zagreas and back. Suddenly, Zagreas comes to Xena saying how Gareth killed his entire army, Minya comes into the scence wearing tons of leather, and hits Zagreas really hard. Hower falls back in love with Minya who has Xena's whip because Gabrielle traded Xena's whip for a frying pan. Also, she did it cause Xena used part of her scrolls cause there weren't any good leaves around. Finally, Xena and Gareth meet, Xena attaches the kite to his back and starts running. She lures him to the giant's burial grounds where he is struck by lighting and dies. Xena and Gabrielle are going to sleep, they are looking at the stars arguing over whether they are seeing a dipper or a bear. Gabrielle then grabs her staff and hits Xena! Gabrielle isn't sure if Xena let her hit her, or if she really did get her. They go to sleep.
DISCLAIMER: No Slippery Eels were harmed during the production of this motion picture despite their reputation as a fine delicacy in select cultures of the known world.
Xena tells Gabrielle that she has to leave her for ahwhile because King Lias needs her immediately and Argo can't carry both of them that far that fast. Aphrodite and Cupid are having an argument because Cupid made a prince and princess fall in love. When they marry, the kingdoms will become united and they will get rid of Aphrodite's temples becasue they block the view of the river. She tells Cupid she will break the romance by turning the weakist fool into a hero. She lets Cupid chose who it is, he sees Joxer following Gabrielle, and wants for Joxer to do it. Joxer wants for Gabrielle to be his sidekick while Xena's gone, so she convinces him that he has to walk behind her. He then meets up with Aphrodite who puts a spell on him. Whenever a bell rings, he will change into a hero, the second time it rings, he'll be himself again. She gives him a necklace with a bell on it to give to the princess, she rings it, and he changes into a hero to find the princess. Gabrielle finds a group of women being attacked by several guys, she dispatches of them quick enough, but some knock her out, then Joxer the Hero appears and finishes them off. The princess and her ladies are charmed by him, but the bell rings and he turns into a dork again confusing everyone. The princess and her group are planning to meet the prince so they can elope. The princess asks for protection and Gabrielle agrees. She has to talk the normal Joxer into going. They soon meet up with the prince, they are about to say their vows when a bell rings and Joxer the Hero appears. He and the prince fight, Joxer wins, the prince leaves, a bell rings and Joxer is himself again. The 2 kings are not happy, they send out an army to find Joxer, they catch him, Gabrielle and the princess. Gabrielle tells Joxer that whenever a bell rings, he changes and she thinks it has someting to do with Aphrodite, she escapes to find Aphrodite and get her to take off the spell. Gabrielle finds Aphrodite and Cupid, Aphrodite refuses to take off the spell, and Cupid says he can't help, only if his mom takes the spell off, then he can set things right. Joxer is about to be executed when Gabrielle returns, she saves the day by throwing a rock that hits a bell. Joxer the Hero gets away, the entire time, all the women are entraced by the site of him. At one point, Joxer the Hero grabs Gabrielle, dips her and gives her a passionate kiss. At first, Gabrielle is happy, then starts to slap herself saying "yuck", she's the only woman not affected by the spell of Joxer the Hero. Gabrielle, Joxer, and the bad guys start fighting in Aphrodite's temple, they trash it while Gabielle tells her the only way to stop the destruction of the temple is to take the spell off Joxer. She argees and everything is back to normal. Joxer is his old self, and tells Gabrielle that she is the real hero. Xena walks up to him and tells him that the gods can only make us into something if part of that something is inside us. He's still upset, she joins Gabrielle, they start to walk away when Joxer joins them singing his song.
DISCLAIMER: The producers wish to acknowledge the inspiration of Danny Kaye and pay tribute to the classic motion picture "Court Jester"
Meleager the Mighty sent for Gabrielle, when they arrive in town, it's empty. Gabrielle then mentiones Meleager's name and some people come after them. Meleager is on trail for a cold-blooded murder. He was found guilty, Gabrielle tried to make pleas for his life, but it was to no avail. He told her he was innocent and he had a witness who could prove it. She set him free, Xena goes after him, with Gabrielle behind her screaming "Run Meleager". Xena catches him and decides to bring him back. Going back to town, someone ambushes them and Xena changes her mind. Meleager tells her that he was drunk and he wasn't sure if he killed him or not. He took Xena to where the murder had taken place, and Xena realizes that SHE killed him while Gabrielle was at the Athens Academy, because he was an assassin. He had just fallen on his sword. The judge's men come and capture Gabrielle and Meleager. The jugde was crooked, and had set this trail and others up. Xena had saved Meleager when he was hanged, but Gabrielle didn't know and was crying. Xena and Meleager then came to get her and all was forgiven.
DISCLAIMER: By popular demand "The Executioner" will bring back his comfortable lightweight cotton-flax blend robe in a variety of spring colors.
Xena and Gabrielle are strolling through a village, Xena is hungry so she goes to get something to eat while Gabrielle goes to shop. Gabrielle is bargaing when she is abducted by a strange man. Xena is looking for Gabrielle when she sees the man with Gabrielle's staff. Palaemon(the man holding the staff) tells her that it belongs to him because he killed Gabrielle and now he wants to kill Xena. They fight and Xena's sword hits an oil bag which squirts in her eyes, Xena downs Palaemon who learns that Gabrielle is only kidnapped, not killed. Gabrielle finds herself at a castle with images of people who look very much like her. The king's advisor tells her she will marry the king and the king's etiquette teacher has to make Gabrielle presentable to all the lords and ladies of the court. Gabrielle resists, but then gives in to be "trained". Xena forces Palaemon to go with her in search of Gabrielle. The oil sumac got into her eyes, and soon she becomes blind. Some guards from the castle attack Xena and this is when Palaemon realizes that she has lost her eyesight. Xena finds some cuffs next to her sword and binds Palaemon to her so he will be her eyes and take her to Gabrielle. He dosen't understand why Xena goes off to find Gabrielle instead of going to Athens to get the Egyptian plant she needs to regain her sight, but Xena says she has to rescue Gabrielle. Then , the pair fall down a cliff. Xena unhooks herself from Palaemon so he can save himself, he then saves Xena only to say that when she gets her sight back, she has to fight him to the death. Gabrielle is presented to the court, but steals away to meet the king when she discovers he's dead. The advisor tells Gabrielle that the king must be wed when he dies or the land goes to the brother some distance away, that way, the advisor gets it when the king is wed and dead. He forces Gabrielle to marry him in a fake ceremony and then he tells the court they are wed. He then puts the dead king and Gabrielle into separate caskets to be cremated. Xena and Palaemon finally are in the castle, they find Gabrielle's teacher who is tied up because he tried to help Gabrielle. He leads them to where Gabrielle and the king are. Palaemon fights off several guards and Xena does a flip over them and goes into the room where Gabrielle is trying to escape the casket which is starting to fill with smoke. The advisor sees that Xena is blind and has the guards attack her, but she takes them out, he then tries to run out, but the teacher knocks him on the head. Xena pulls the casket from the flames and feels inside until she finds Gabrielle, who is ok. Gabrielle realizes that Xena is blind, and Xena says it will be permanent since they can't get to Athens in time. The teacher says that he grows the plant in his garden. Gabrielle drips it into Xena's eyes, and her eyesight returns. Palaemon doesn't challenge Xena, and instead says that he learned that you are who you pretend to be, and he is going to try pretending to be someone good for a while to see how it feels.
DISCLAIMER: Once again, Gabrielle's luck with men was harmed during the production of this motion picture.
DISCLAIMER: To show sympathy for the Horde, "kaltaka" was only served upon request during the production of this motion picture.
DISCLAIMER: Cecrops' "Joie de Vivre" was not harmed during the production of this motion picture.
Cupid is trying to put his baby Bliss to sleep so he can go to "bed". Finally, Cupid leaves the room, and Bliss steals some arrows and a bow, and heads for a village filled with Hestia virgins. Draco is also in the area and he hopes to capture the virgins to sell to a slave trader. Xena intends to stop him, and Joxer greets Gabrielle and Xena in the village before Draco arrives. People all around are falling in love with cows and each other as a result of Cupid's arrows shot by Bliss. An arrow hits Xena just as Draco arrives, she greets him with a big kiss, they then fight, and Draco mounts his horse and leaves. Xena goes to the woods to beat a punching bag, Joxer suggests she go dip in the lake, but Xena insists she'll be fine after a good workout. Draco takes a shower cause he knows that Xena'll come for him which she does. He tells her not to get in his way, Draco then goes to the temple, the virgins are gone and Draco captures Xena dressed as a virgin. He tells her she can't hide the women forever and she tells him they are dressed like villagers. Draco admires this, he and Xena leave the temple together. Joxer and Gabrielle are tied to a pole, and while Xena is freeing them, Bliss shoots and arrow hitting Gabrielle who sees Joxer. She is in love with Joxer, Xena and Draco go off to have arm wrestling matches while Gabrielle and Joxer go their own way so he can teach her his song. Xena goes to cool off in a lake, when Gabrielle says she loves Joxer, Xena finds that hard to believe. Draco tries to take the village, and is hit by Bliss and he falls in love with Gabrielle. He takes Joxer and Gabrielle hostage. Xena goes to rescue them and sends Joxer out to find Cupid. Draco returns to the village telling Xena he wants the virgins, and if he doesn't get what he wants, he'll burn the place. She asks if he'll kill the woman he loves, and he says, would you?. Xena lets him have the virgins to prove her love for him, but at that moment, the slaver Pinullus arrives saying that he had a note from Draco saying that he had an Amazon Princess to throw into the deal. Draco didn't send the note, Xena did and Gabrielle comes out dressed as an Amazon. Draco swears no one will take his woman so the slaver and him fight while Gabrielle leads the virgins to a cave. Bliss is still shooting arrows and the virgins fall in love with Draco's men who run from them becasue Draco said if they touch the virgins, he'll kill them. Cupid and Joxer arrive, Cupid grounds his boy, then restores everyone back to normal except Draco so he does good for Gabrielle.
DISCLAIMER: No cherries were harmed in the making of this motion picture.
Crossovers, Season 1, Season 3Season 5 rumors
