Sometimes, If You Try Really Hard (and bluff)- You Can Beat A Con Artist

HAVE YOU EVER BEEN
RIPPED OFF?
Did you give money to someone for something- and get NOTHING?

It's happened to me before. And I swore that the next time I got jipped, I'd make the person who did it MISERABLE. This time,
I did what ebay couldn't.
AND I GOT SATISFACTION.

I absolutely LOVE ebay, so don't get me wrong.
But what happens if you buy something you won at one of their auctions, and the person selling the item does his best to disappear?

Here's what I did.

     I have many hobbies- too many, my wife insists, what with two children around the house- and with her, always wanting things, like sex and stuff.
      However, they are my diversions- I have several:

   Baseball
     Strat-O-Matic baseball, a card game as well as a computer game, is one of my "fave
      raves."
   Football
      Specifically, NFL football
   World War II
      History, as well as historical simulations- what many call "boardgames"- complex ones!
   Battletech
     A sci-fi miniatures boardgame which has been around for nearly 20 years
   Politics
      I'm a hardcore Republican and proud of it- as if you couldn't already tell
   Reading
      Usually, about those five topics

      This particular incident regards Battletech, a fun beer-and-pretzels game that can involve as few as two up to dozens of players. It involves miniature robots, with game sheets showing their offensive and defensive capabilities. You pick a map to play upon, get your miniatures, and two six-sided dice, some wet-erase markers, and you're ready to go.
      It's an addictive game, with millions of players worldwide. It is set in the 31st century. Mankind has travelled to thousands of star systems ranging hundreds of light years from Earth. The realms of human space are fought for by the remnants of the Star League, a ruling organization that collapsed late in the 28th century, The Houses of the Inner Sphere, Kurita, Davion, Liao, Marik and Steiner, vie for power, against each other, as well as alongside one another against the Clans, the returned progenitors of the Star League army which left the Inner Sphere nearly three hundred years ago. These great factions use many weapons- infantry, armor, aerospace fighters, attack helicopters, hovercraft- and BattleMechs, the ultimate weapon.
      The BattleMech is a 10-meter-tall monster loaded with lasers, autocannon and missiles, and can destroy nearly anything- except another BattleMech. Thousands of them fight every day, and the game represents this type of combat, with extra rules and units to integrate all the other non-Mech assets a side can put into a battle.
      But, alas, the company who created the game, FASA, went out of business a couple of years ago- with the game in about year 3063. But, fortunately, a new company, FanPro, apparently bought the copyrights to the Battletech name, and has started producing new stuff- updated rules, new technical readouts with new units, sheets to use for those units, and so on.
      One day, I was perusing the ebay listings for Battletech stuff, and saw something cool- something that led me to learn about what happened after FASA's demise.
      The listing said: Battletech Tech Readout 3067 FanPro NEW
      3067? I thought. Really? And who the heck is FanPro?
      So, I looked, and hey there! I saw a new Battletech readout, with new Mechs to use. And then I saw another listing for the record sheets to accompany the readout.
      And they were both being sold by the same seller, a person/ organization called Dragonzeye Games out of Seattle. So, that meant that if I got both of the items, shipping would be cheaper.
      So, I bid on both items on the 20th of September, and wound up being the winning bidder. The total cost for both items was $42.75, including shipping. Cool, I thought. I'm gonna have some new BT stuff. I gotta call Glenn!
      Glenn Klages, a longtime D&D and Battletech friend- and opponent- of mine, lives in Centreville, about 30 miles from here. He got me hooked on the game in 1987, and he's the one I call when I want to play BT.
      So, I called him and told him about it. He sounded excited and told me that when the books arrived, to call him and we'd play.

      Then, things started to go downhill.
      First, I tried to send the money to the seller via PayPal, an online money-transferring service. The listing said that they accepted such payments, as most sellers do, since it gets you your money FAST if you're selling something.
      But the PayPal system told me that the email listed for payments could not accept them.
      Ok, I said, I'll email and ask what to do. So, I did, and got a reply with a mailing address, and a note that they accepted personal checks.
      Great. I could pay for it and get it soon. I was itching to play.
      I mailed the check around the 23rd of September, and waited.
      And waited two weeks, and then a little more, and got no reply. So, I sent another email to the seller. And again, silence.
      The next day, I sent another email asking why I hadn't heard back, since the check had cleared a week before.
      The last part wasn't true, but I figured if they replied and contested my claim, I'd at least have broken the silence I was facing.
      No response yet again. I was starting to get miffed.
      So, I sent two more emails of a similar type, and got nothing. I'm not miffed now - just plain pissed off, I thought. I started a complain with SquareTrade, an online dispute resolution service, but knew they couldn't do anything but email the person, and all he had to do was, well, NOTHING. If he failed to respond in two weeks, SquareTrade would close the claim.
      This was now the 17th of October, four weeks after sending payment and dealing with utter silence. I had also received a copy of my bank statement in the interim, which included a Xerox copy of the cancelled check to Dragonzeye Games.
      I was really, really angry now. The jackoff who claimed his name was Vincent Price and who traded as Dragonzeye Games had just committed mail and wire fraud. I am no attorney, but knew that what he did was illegal in some capacity.
      So, I then went to ebay to leave him negative feedback. I looked up his feedback history (a feedback history is, basically, a bunch of one-line summaries of opinions of people who have dealt with you on ebay- positive, negative, or neutral). Almost everyone who deals on ebay builds positive feedback. I've seen people with positive feedback from over 20,000 different people, so there are some really good ones out there. Anyway, I figured that negative feedback might at least warn others not to let him rip them off too.
      I went to the feedback section of ebay, and noticed that, next to Dragonzye Games, aka vincentprice01, had a note next to his feedback rating that said "not a registered user."
      That usually means that someone has either closed their eBay account- or that eBay had revoked trading privileges. It also meant that I couldn't leave him any more feedback because the eBay system disallowed it for people who were no longer considered users.
      It turned out to be the latter, due to the fact that he had apparently established quite a pattern of getting payments and not shipping merchandise. Looking at his feedback, he had received over a hundred complaints in the prior month- which I would have noticed had I checked his feedback before bidding.
      Dammit I thought, I let myself get ripped off.
      But I was not about to go down without giving this guy hell for it. I was going to get $42.75 worth of SOMETHING from the guy. So, I used the ebay system to get his phone number.
      And got another indicator that this guy was going to lengths to NOT be reached, and to AVOID all contact with his victims. An answering machine with an automated message.
      So, I left him one. I figured that since I had made a long-distance call to Seattle, I might as well leave my two cents' worth.
      I left my name, address, phone numbers (two lines at home, cell and work number- FOUR phone numbers), and the item numbers and descriptions, and ended it by telling him that I would DEFINITELY litigate if he continued to avoid me. I ended it, "Have a nice day. THIEF." And slammed the phone down.
      I knew that wasn't going to get any results, so I went to my last resort- the POISON PEN LETTER. Using all my tact, my (albeit limited) knowledge of legalese, and all the hopes that I could bluff like a good poker player, I sent The Letter. And prayed.

The letter went as follows (with my comments on what I was thinking as I wrote it in parentheses where appropriate):

17 October, 2002

To: Vincent Price, Trading in ebay as Dragonzeye Games
Fr: David Insley
Re: Ebay Items 1767499055, Battletech Record Sheets 3067, FanPro and
      1767499082, Battletech Tech Readout 3067, FanPro
      Paid by Check 26 September 2002
      Cleared 8 October, 2002

To Whom It May Concern:
   After five attempts to contact you by email, I am hereby sending you this, which you will by now have received and signed for, by certified mail.
(I had emailed him four times, not five, but, hey, .I'd take a rebuttal if only to break the silence.)
   Our transaction crossed state lines, and involves the use of the United States Postal Service, which, twice over, mandates that any litigation by my part be filed on a federal level ONLY.
(It sure sounds good, huh? I have no clue if it's true, but it may well be. It's sensible... and God knows, Sensible is one of my watchwords in life.)
   Therefore, if I do not receive the above-listed items by 31 October, I will file federal mail and wire fraud charges in the United States District Court of Baltimore, Maryland. This letter is sent to you via certified mail to guarantee receipt. Upon receipt with required signature, I will have documented proof that you have received this final non-litigation warning.
(In reality, I'll have a signed return receipt and a wet ass. The rest was pure bluster. THE LETTER was my last recourse. I'm not paying a $100 or more filing fee and wasting a day or more in Baltimore to recoup $42.75. I just prayed he didn't think that as well...)
I will not allow someone to defraud me of my hard-earned money, and will make sure I get what I paid for- or get you some jail time. I hope you can afford flying to Baltimore to answer to these charges, because, if my memory as a paralegal serves me correctly, there will most likely be a federal bench warrant issued for your arrest if you fail to appear in response to a formal complaint.
(Again, it sounds plausible. I know if you fail to appear in a federal court, there HAVE to be repercussions of some sort, and a bench warrant might be one of them...)
I expect shipment of these books, and demand that they arrive at my home on or before 31 October.
   Your second option is the prompt refund of the entiire amount of $42.75, which I paid for the two above-listed items. I expect one or the other by 31 October.
(I'd have preferred the money at this point, but I figured I'd try to get whichever I could.)
Your third option is my litigation against you. With the number of other ebay customers from whom you seem to have stolen money, I'm sure my case will stand up quite well, and you will be held liable for the money you owe me as well as ALL court-related fees.
   Wire fraud (which now includes internet fraud under a 1996 US Code statute) carries fines of up to $10,000 and up to five years in a FEDERAL penientiary. Mail fraud carries charges of up to $10,000 and five more years in a FEDERAL penitentiary. And if I do not get the books or the money by the end of October, I WILL TAKE YOU TO COURT, and I WILL HAVE YOU PURSUED BY FEDERAL AUTHORITIES.
(The part about him screwing other people on Ebay was 100% true, and as for the rest, it sounded really plausible. I just hoped he dicn't look into it for himself, as I have no real idea what the penalties are- I threw those numbers out because I watched The Firm about five times)
I am not Ebay; I will not simply suspend your account. I am not some halfwit who will simply leave you negative feedback- which I couldn't do now if I wanted, as your account has been SUSPENDED BY EBAY due to your abuses.
(I did TRY to give him negative feedback, though. <giggle>)
And if you wish to ignore a summons from a federal magistrate, you are making a grievous mistake for which you will forever rueful.
(Hell, that's good practical advice regardless of the conversation, huh?)
Do not doubt the veracity of these statements; you may look into them yourself. (God, please, don't let this guy look these things up! I was thinking.)
Or you could save yourself the trouble of flying across the continent, and mail me two simple books for which I paid over three weeks ago.

I leave the choice up to you.
(I hoped he'd do what I was about to give up expecting.)

Signed, David Insley, etc., etc., etc.
   I paid $4.42 for the certified mail and return receipt, and on the 21st of October, I mailed the letter.
   In the interim, I went back to ebay, and bid on the same two items from other sellers, including two I had dealt with, and gotten the goods promptly, before. I made sure to check their feedback first, though. :-) I won the two items I thought I'd never get, and paid for them. One arrived on the 29th of October, the other on Halloween.
   On 1 November, 2002, I got a package from Dragonzeye Games- the Tech Readout and the record sheets, shipped by Priority Mail from Seattle. A day past my Nwow Or Court Deadline.

And I laughed till I damn near cried.

   Now, it has been said that every there is something to be learned from every event in one's life. I, for instance, learned to check someone's feedback on eBay thoroughly before dealing with them, unless I've dealt with them favorably before. That I recommend to all users. If they have recently received a ton of negative feedback, then think twice about dealing with them.
   As a rule of thumb, I don't deal with anyone who's had more than one negative feedback in the past month, and NEVER deal with people who have a feedback of less than 98% positive. I figure you'll piss off one in fifty people no matter what you do - two percent of the people in this country are pure, unadulterated assholes anyway, though many might argue it's a much higher percentage.
   I don't necessarily recommend sending someone a letter like the one I sent, though I will admit that it worked for me. But, for the time being, I had an extra Tech readout and set of record sheets, which I sold on Ebay. And I got all but $5 of my money back not counting the cost of the certified letter.
So, all told, I was out a little over nine bucks. But I got justice - though Justice should never be confused with The Law. Just ask any attorney.
   Sometimes, the good guys DO win, though it might take four emails and a nasty letter sent certified mail. And a man named after a master of horror movies got a good scare put into HIM. Thanks to me, Vincent Price knew fear.

   Irony is cool, huh?

Tell me what you think!

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