November

3 - I think Scott and I are done.  Since we got back from Michigan he has been very cold and short with me.  He doesn't call/text or IM anymore. I don't really hear from Mike that much. I went to CG last weekend which was Dramaville. Cynthia was ranting about Richard and trying to drag everyone into it. Sunday I stayed home with Brandi and her friends and that was a nightmare.  I finally told Lynn why I was pissed at him. I handed out candy and went to bed. I have been corresponding quite heavily with Mr. Scott which I am really enjoying. I still can't get Mitch out of my head. I saw him Monday and I waved as I drove by.  He waved, but looked very shocked that I didn't stop to talk to him.  I haven't talked to him in about a month now which is the longest we have gone. I have been keeping busy thinking about buying my old house back. I really don't think Darrin will let me have it for 140k or less, but its worth a try. If he doesn't then I will focus on either moving in with Iron Mitch or hoping one of those 1-levels open up near work. 8 - I am writing this a week later but I wanted to write something here.  I went to see Jason yesterday and I got to visit with Michael for a while but not long.  I only took Courtnee up so Jason, Court and I visited quite a bit since Jacob wasn't around to require our attention.  We all had a great visit (including Michael).  I brought up lots of stuff and Michael hopped the fence and I got a VERY nice kiss this time.  I was glowing all the way home.  He writes every day now and I can't even think about Mitch when I try!  I love this feeling. 15 - I went to see Jason yestery (this is the first time I have gone two weeks in a row).  I was the only visitor so Miss Peterson let Mike visit with me off and on for a few minutes at a time.  We got to hug and kiss but it was always rushed as we didn't know how many seconds we had left each time.  I was very thrilled to get the time though.  He looks different close up; better/worse in some ways.  I am still VERY stoked about him.  I had a dream about Mitch this morning but as soon as I started telling Mitch (in my dream) about Mike, I woke up. That tells me something!  I saw Mitch this morning but at a gas station.  I followed him for a bit but changed my mind and turned around and came to work.  I have given up on many people in my life at this point and think I am going to go for that apartment that I looked at the other day.  I feel pretty good about it other then I will be broke.  I had an interview here at work last week and it went well.  If I get it, it will be $620 more a month take home pay and that will cover my rent.  Things are really falling into place (with the exception that my business idea is now on hold). 22 - I went to visit Jason and brought Jacob and Sarah so I got to visit with Mike for about 45 minutes. He was great but on the way home I replayed part of the conversation and got a little upset about his attitude when it comes to being a hairdresser.  I am really in love with him though. 28 - I went to see Scott Wednesday night.  We had a great time and I think we will be good friends now.  I had T-Day dinner naked at CG.  I went to a party Friday night at a friend of Steve E's. I babysat for Mikey last night and spent the night. They decided they were on different pages so I stayed and consoled him. (See PE). I am so excited to move into my new place. If I don't see Mitch tomorrow it will be about 6 weeks since I have not talked to him.

December

23 - I can't believe how I have had no desire to write in this journal since I have fallen so deeply in love with Mike.  All I want to do is write him constantly.  I love the crap out of him.  I am going to see Jason (Mike) on Saturday, Christmas day; I can't wait.  Scott has been up to visit and I actually enjoyed his company.  A tiny bit too much perhaps but I know that Mike and I are meant to be together forever.  I hope Scott will always be a part of my life; I do love him and love spending time with him, but I do not see a romantic future with him.  Mike and I are perfect and we are so much alike its scary.  I want to spend the rest of my life with him! 25 - I went up to see Jason and Mike and got to talk to Mike through the fence almost the whole time.  It was amazing!  He said he felt so sick after I left and begged me not to come up but once a month because he is so sad when I leave.  Jason said he had a tear in his eye after I left.  I know he loves me so much.