24 - MM#9. A few weeks ago, KOMP radio station was doing this contest. Send in your picture and Brain Damage will pick one lucky lady to go with him FRONT ROW to see Kiss and Aerosmith and meet Kiss after the show. I thought, what the heck, so I sent my picture in. They called and said I made it to the finals so I had to come to the studio. I wasn't going to go. I wasn't sure if I was ready to be rejected in that way. But then I thought, its radio! - what the heck, I will probably get "something". So I went pretty much counting on a cd or t-shirt or something. There were six girls there. Four of the girls were hot! Very hot! I was the biggest one there. They were dressed sexy and I was in my t-shirt and jeans. They told us that we were getting a pair of tickets for the concert no matter what, but one person was going to dinner, front row and meeting kiss. Brain damage (Jeff) asked us some dating game type questions and eliminated three of the girls. I was NOT eliminated! I couldn't believe it. I was standing in between two hot, tall, blonde, big boob, lotta cleavage, girls... I was thinking, "what am I doing here?". He asked us three more dating game type questions and then made his choice by hugging the girl he wanted to go to dinner and the concert with. He walked right up and hugged ME!!!!!! I couldn't believe it! I had so much fun at dinner and the show. Kiss was so awesome! They were so nice and were very greatful of their fans. Jeff was super nice and had a wonderful sense of humor. I took three rolls of film and got some great shots. I still can't believe he picked me. I am feeling so lucky! I am also down 110#s now. I weigh 201. I can't wait to see 199! I will be so high on life when that day comes (soon)!
I am very, very stoked. I have been looking at my body a lot lately as it is changing so rapidly. I am very pleased with how my stomach looks so far. My legs aren't too bad, but not too good either. I wish I could have surgery on my arms right now though. I really need to start toning them to see if I can make any improvements before surgery. I am also looking forward to a breast lift now that I don't have my belly to hold them up anymore! haha All-in-all, I am quite happy with how my body is transforming! I am looking for someone to take some pictures of me at this stage. I am feeling pretty, pretty! haha :-) I really think I will be able to make my goal by my birthday in February which will be one year after surgery.
12 - I went shopping yesterday and bought a really nice suit on sale; SIZE 14! It is so cool. I haven't seen that size since the 80s (the early 80s - at that). I had my niece take a whole roll of pictures of me yesterday so hopefully I will be posting a new pic of me soon on the home page. I feel pretty good today.. not so depressed. Yesterday I felt sort weak. I was afraid I was getting that stomach thing that keeps going around. So far - so good today though. I am excited about getting to my goal weight of 160, but I was thinking the other night about how good I feel now compaired to 311 pounds.. and I would be quite happy if I didn't lose another pound right now. Of course, I would LOVE to get to 160 or even 140, but I am completely happy at my size now too!
17 - Crap! I feel like crap. I had the worst weekend ever. I nearly broke both of my legs and I smashed my middle finger. My finger is throbbing and my legs are stinging. I have been taking anti-depressant/anti-anxiety pills now for about 6 weeks or so and I feel more depressed. I have never felt so lonely in my life and I don't know why. I used to travel to feel content, but now I am so broke I can't and its too far to drive anywhere worth seeing. I have been talking to this guy on the phone now for a couple weeks and I finally sent him my picture. He didn't call. I was totally sad all weekend that I must be too ugly or still be too fat. I think I look great, but its frustrating when others don't see that.. Sure, I thought for a minute that I might be too fine for him and he might be intimidated.. but I don't think guys think like that.. usually they are too confident about the girls they think they can get. I need to go to the doctor and get different meds or start seeing a shrink or something. Money, money, money... Oh, and the whole roll of pictures that my neice took? I hate every one.. its not her fault, I just didn't like them... I still think I look better then I do in pictures.. I don't get me!
