| Hi everyone. It’s been about 3 weeks since I’ve posted in my journal. Last week I left San Francisco after having 2 severe death threat attacks in my San Francisco apartment. I have come to stay with my Mother where I am safe, happiest and more comfortable. My body is shutting down and I know for valid reasons that I am dying. I do NOT know how many days I have left on this earth. The only thing that has kept me alive throughout all 4 of my last death threat attacks has been my soul: it has not let go yet… Please just listen. Last night I had to write out my will and funeral instructions for my Mother. I can’t even tell A/any of Y/you how hard this is. I have accepted that my body will physically be leaving this earth soon. I am in comfort to know this. I am not in comfort every time I have a death threat and live through it to just wake up and have another. I’m really weak and I can not articulate myself or say everything that I want to right now but please know this: I want Y/you A/all to know that it’s okay to just be W/who Y/you are. It’s okay to NOT know W/who Y/you are or Y/your place on this earth because it takes time to evolve into O/ourselves… I hope I have taught a lot of M/men that it is okay to be feminine and gender fuck and go out in drag with a beard, hairy legs and stomach. I want to be remembered as the gender expressionist that I am. I want to be remembered as someone who stuck his best pair of diva high heels up societies ass. I want to be remembered for presenting the male to male identity and my gender Revolution to the world. This is very important to me. I want Y/you A/all to know that it’s okay to make mistakes. I’ve tried to make something positive out of all of mine. I have used photography/art has a radical source of expressing myself and getting over my past. I hope Y/you all find Y/your source/s. I want Y/you A/all to know that there is HOPE for EVERYONE ~ and it’s a matter of wanting it and then staying motivated to find it. I want Y/you to know that trying to force me to get medical help for my eating disorders would only be selfish, offensive and disrespectful of what I want. If I wanted medical help then I would of got medical help a long time ago ~ please know this. My Mom is also aware to NOT call 911 if she finds me dying. She has accepted that her son is sick and put me in the hands of God who knows what is best for me… If I could have 3 wishes in this world they would be (and my answers have not changed for years) 1- To end all HATE 2- To end all diseases and 3- That all the homeless P/people would have shelter and food. If I had the money I would donate it. If I had the energy right now I would volunteer. I’ve done as much as I can and now I need to focus on being happy while I am still here on this earth. One of the most important things I have learned in life is that labels don’t make the people, we as people make the labels. I feel the thing I have accomplished most in life is finding myself/my gender/my Revolution. I wish Y/you all the best of luck in finding Y/yours. I want to thank Y/you A/all for all the love, support, care, friendship and beauty Y/you have shown me. Y/you have all taught me various things and I appreciate this greatly. I love Y/you A/all ~ Thank Y/you for sticking by my side… I want the world to know how much I love my Mr. Daddy Robby and how happy I am to have met Him and have Him be a part of my life. He has shown me SO much and I have explored so much of myself with Him. Thank You Sir for teaching me how to be a good submissive and being my FIRST Daddy for the kind of dynamical Daddy/boy relationships that I embark in. I need to congratulate E/everyone that has started T/their HRT or had T/their surgery/ies thus far. I want to wish E/everyone else who has not (yet) the best of glittery luck. I am really proud of Y/you A/all ~ even if Y/you choose not to physically transition or have no reason to. I wrote a piece for a book by Morty Diamond. I do not know when it will be published but please look out for that within the next year or so. It is on my male to male identity and is probably the first thing (that I’m aware of) to go public in regard to this specific gender identity. I have asked my roommate to keep my documentary website going for reference. I am hoping A/all of Y/you will keep this gender Revolution going. Stand up and be heard. Promote social change. Things are NOT going to change unless W/we get up and DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT… I’m sending Y/you A/all lots of love and hot pink glittery faggy divaness and all the motivation Y/you need to be happy and healthy and succeed in life… this is NOT goodbye but hello and I love Y/you ~ Until next time ~ Ciao for now Beautiful/s … <3 Love Always, Johnny Giovanni Righini * the diva princess* current mood: thankful Page Three (continued) |