The Flim
Posted on 9/16/00 01:54 PM
Have you ever felt threatened by the
memories flitting through your head
like bats high
up in the dark,
dank belfry tower that is you mind?
Sometimes they sweep through my brain
like a giant wave crashing over my head
suffocating,choking
I try to drive they away
and yet they roll over me
In the dark of the night
when I am alone they explode
before my eyes
and the tears scald my cheeks
The sounds, smells seem so real
I run from them as fast as I can
but they dance before me
taunting and teasing
until I can stand it no longer
i sacrifice my sleep to these demons
Free, they storm my brain
keeping me from the pleasurable pastime
that is sleep
over and over they play on the wall of my mind
Until i can stand it no more
and I swat them away
as i attempt to fight them off
their scornful laughter burns my ears
as the films that are my memories play over
and over and over
until they are exhausted
Then they dance away escaping to the uppermost stories
of mymind where they wait
patiently for another night.
My safe haven.
Posted on 9/16/00 08:50 PM
I found this poem in my box where i store all my old
poems.
Just ressurecting a bit of the past!
As I open the door the cool air washes over my body
Lying on my bed beside the window I begin to dream
I wake up lying on a soft pink cloud surrounded by
whiteness
My body is covered from head to toe with soft white dew
As I stand I begin to move though I cannot feel it I know
Not a wind stirs in this white world my clothes are not
rustled.
I am wearing a soft silk garment, which is like the
surrounding white starkness
As i continue the harsh white around me dulls to a soft
creamy yellow.
My soul at last in peace is exalted by the utter beauty
I do not want to leave yet I know I do not belong here
Slowly I begin to move back and the whiteness surounds me
once again
The dew covers my body as I slip back into reality.
Then the tranquil beauty of my dream slowly fades away
I try to conjure up the beautiful scene.
Yet all that is left is a hazy memory
A hazy memory of my safe haven which tomorrow I will
visit again.
A path
Posted on 09/20/00 07:40 PM
The empty page, a path
the pen skips along it
opening up a window
that shows a self
within a self
I can always follow
that path
back to me
But the breadcrumbs are gone
and I am lost
the birds sing a song
of mortality
and I am forever
in confusion
The old oak speaks
and I hear, but
i never listen
for it is the path
that I seek
the path upon the page
which I skip along
and hope to find
my self.
My Romeo
Posted on 09/26/00 07:35 PM
As the wind skates along the water
the ripples reach out to me
and I remember......
I remember how I bathed
in the rippling green pools of your eyes
and how i washed away away
my guilt beneath
the waterfall of your praise
But now the sparkling
pools are dirtied and
your waterfall has run dry
My guilt has returned in full vengence
the soothing sound that was your voice
has drowned in the foul masma
that is my pain
Oh where oh where
has my Romeo gone?
A child's end
Posted on
09/27/00 07:25 PM
Just a little poem on how a feel about all the child
abuse in our country.
Their eyes have hopes and dreams
their laughter is so sweet
No problem is too large
They do not know defeat
And yet you spoil them
hurt them,scar them
causing them to hate the world
you've begun their end.
A girl
Posted on
09/29/00 07:24 PM
There is a girl
a girl who
sits on the edge
of my vision
and watches my
every move
Her face is blank
yet expressive
as I try to look more closely
she disappears
forever gone
and yet she never
really existed
just a thought
a whisper
in the night
oh there is a girl......
This life
Posted on
10/01/00 06:41 PM
hanging in the balance
a gift too precious to give away
seeing love hearing peace
morning blossom closed tight
colours smells sound
going going gone
laughter tears screams
never to be released
forever imprinted in the mind
empires materials kings
happpiness is sadness
love is hate
tears are joy
countries towns houses
life within a life
chasing the spiritual keys
floating in orbit
burned by trust and betrayl
underestimated bringer of light
shadows and light are one
songed into climax.
Nostalgia
Posted on 10/01/00 06:45 PM
Nostalgia, a bitter sweet word
that rolls off the tip of your tongue
like a drop of poison
it invests the soul
and preys upon the weak
for some the memories
it brings
chokes and strangles
I can barely speak
who invented this concept?
this heart wrenching
soul tormenting
thing?
with every added year
the burden becomes heavier
until there is no present
no future
just the stifling
suffocating nostalgia
**I smile because I have no idea what's going on.**
Desire
posted on 10/24/00
by the time you swear you're
his
shivering and sighing,
and he vows his passion is
infinite undying
lady, make a note of this
one
of you
is lying.
A Wish
Posted on 10/30/00 11:14 PM
Oh how i wished
i had never plunged
deep into those pools
of recklessness
i wish i had never carressed
the hand that struck me
i wish i had never kissed
those deceitful lips
tears flow down my
stricken cheeks
bitter jewels of
regret
Crumbling Facade
Posted on 11/23/00
Beautiful looks do hide
the pain beneath
running away
forever from my memory
there I was
so alone so afraid
you came, you saw, you conquered
and now I am like
a neglected city
crumbling
beneath the weight
of your pain
when shall your
love flow beneath
these decrepit walls?
deep into the
hidden garden
the garden in which
we played
and laughed
until the sun
went away, forever and a day.
Forbidden fruit
01/13/01
Black dawn
ebbing and moving
over and over
silver humpbacked whales
of tears swim
across this sea
rising up
a tree, a tree of fruit
like sweet
succulent
forbidden thoughts
tastes like
like red, red velvet
across my tongue
and then the falling
the drowning
and then
the bitterness
the pain
oh the taste
of that fruit
doth linger
on my tongue
Could I
01/13/01
If I could be
a dandelion puff
oh how happy I would be
floating above
untainted, unoticed
just there.
If I could be
a child
oh how happy I would be
uncomplicated unhurt
just there
Oh If I could be
stronger
oh how happy I would be
I'd crush you
and scorn you
burn you break you
but I can't
so I pray and I scribble
like a blind mouse
I run in walls
and I try oh I try
but I can't
If I could be
someone other than me
oh how happy I would be...
Candy
01/13/00
Plucked at like
sweet candy
pretty but bruised
bleeding but laughing
don't
oh, do do do.
Weapons
01/16/01
Our laughter was contagious
Our mirth was unabound
the love we felt
soared to heaven
like a prayer upon an angels wings
The trust in your eyes
bloomed like the lily
opening its petals to the heavens
a pair of supplacating hands
Each of us wronged
each of us hurt
what a fine pair
we make
laughter is our weapon
denial is our sheild
and friendship is our hope
with these we hope to slay
the dragon
that blocks our path
to true happiness.
St. Cleo
02/19/01
Now i shall be good
for it is expected.
no more love
no more laughter
just cold grey muck
sweating sweeping swerving
all over this sweet thing
you called love.
you are my waterloo
and i am your cleopatra
unforgiving, unyielding
forbidden.
i give up
i give you up.
go and leave me
leave me to my goodnesss
this nauseating
unatainable
sainthood.
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