(Child of the Cape)


First online poem
4/24/00 10:03 PM
It has been ages since I ventured into myself and created in words the thoughts of my soul...
When I *did* (years ago) it was in Afrikaans. But this place seems quite safe.

Have mercy oh expert ones...my very first online poem and first one in years....It is time to let my spirit speak for itself again...

SOUL IN THE INBOX

Letters lined up in odd sequence
entangled thoughts
tied together by poignant aimed bitterness
your determination to express
only
you own sorrow

with
the click of a button
you sent your tearful gaze
into my mind, my inbox
to stare at me through a veil of regrets

and I forward you
my silence...

PROCESS CHART

I drew my fine lines around you
and you
block me in with your borders.

You arrow yourself in my direction
a vision for me, us
It maps our destiny silently
the big picture
in .... jotted .... intervals

Selective milestones rising like monuments
trace my heart - commit me
to evasive dreams divorced from being single
crossing constraints

oh! flow with me
be my chart to progress
complete my process

co-ordinate me my love

Re: WELCOME 2
5/1/00 00:05 AM

I COME.

I will just... well, come
touching courage gently -

explore

breathing lightly with giants
moving barely
trembling, stroking words selectively
sweating slightly
coming closer to release...
as energy mounts in my mind
entangled sentences form
wrapping arms around my loneliness

imagination:
the caressing beauty,
yet another expression
of my humanity

life,
welcomed


This Kiss
5/4/00 07:58 PM

Your lips
found me -
First your ear against my heart pumping
explanations reasons fears
Then you discovered me willingly
understanding more
with softly parted lips
entering my trembling existance
again

You took my breath into
you and
drained my pain insistently
caressing me inside
matched by only my heart beat
surprised, arching into your
forgiveness
barely suckling your mercy
onto me

slowly

you gave me back
life
a piece of us
captured in this one kiss


Too much of you
4/30/00 11:45 AM

IN EXCESS

I drink your mind
with my attention
tuned

You fill me to the brim
tediously change thoughts, emotion
bursting into my existence
treading lightly
as I fall against your sounds
open, unstable

drunk with you
lost



Loss of word
5/3/00 08:10 AM

I lack
everything:

I lack you.



REPORT ON PROGRESS

Scrolled through our plan again
today
Saw the overrided future,
accelerated process of completion
as a flow diagram ends itself
in mid-air, white spaces follow.

You claimed a high cost variance
no consolidation
and lack of security, of care;
And bad management, overbudgeting.

I mistook my own way
for the critical path, and
followed its range blindly
like a wizzard, a dialog box of mistakes
lacking calculated expenses.

Teasing our beautiful love
trusting foolishly its capacity.
With no contingency plan
in quiet idealism, I
only blocked myself into you.
See Process Chart 1.

You - with full deciding power.
The arrow of my growth, my future.
Mi amor.

Linked into pain unexpectedly
Without your co-ordinates,
lost in the grid of my heart
at default
all alone again
uncustomised with little earned value

I - not worth the costs, and
little return on investment
terminated us

Crumbled process, filed in tears.
Your summary report
outstanding...



THE ANSWERS
5/19/00 07:26 PM

It is because
your broken lies sooth my wounds -
mending my aching soul.

It is because
your words need my breath
Coming alive in me
when I believe them.

It is because
your mind governs supreme
directing
the destiny of your emotion less
expressions

It is because
you do not know me yet -
the enemy of your silence.



HE
5/26/00 02:47 PM

He
invested in us, in me:
A gamble against reality.
He lost.

He
saw the odds clearly
in the shadows
of his young soul -
highlighted by
my brutal honesty.

Now his eyes
measure me
label me skillfully
package us;
and sends me away
to far corners
of his selective memories.

He
hurts.
Disabled with pain:
Blindly not seeing me,
nor my intentions.



Restless Words
6/4/00 04:43 PM

Backspaced, my phrases
fell angrily
over
each other
as his flashing cursor
slided grimly
into my trapped cliches.

Cleared me.

My darling
chose the arrowed key;
deleted another word
to re-arrange my thoughts
aimlessly
into patterns of emptiness.

Disabled me.

Words judged quickly
by his erasing touch -
the courthouse of an
unforgiving spirit.
No longer, I spoke.

Unplugged me.

My restless sentences
still hide fearfully
like icons in the silence
of a faceless keyboard.

Love,
Empower me.



Sleeping
6/5/00 04:59 PM

Windows to my soul,
my eyes
closed tiredly
against the onslaught.

Whimpering into
darkened corners
of my mind,
my heart
too
fell...asleep.



Your Name
6/9/00 07:07 PM

pattern-making through the ink
my finger lightly
writes your name
curly and elegantly
appearing under my touch

gently listening
seeing you dressed
in your father's name -
finally

nevertheless
your name made sense
all by itself

as you do



Quiet Child Quiet
6/9/00 07:57 PM

She was walking in a street
simply a wanderer
taking in the beauty of the day
the warm sunshine on her face,
smiling
her slow footprints appearing
in shadows on the tar.

She stopped
looked across to the far side
and stared for a moment:
A mother. A child.
Then she turned away
changed
direction
tears filling her eyes
as
she
quickened
her pace.

The child cried
and she looked back with anguish;
the mother helpless, in rags
whispering kisses of hope
on filthy hair as
the child suckled feverishly
on her bruised nipple...

She ran - almost falling -
her mind crippled
with images
of cruel poverty
as streaming tears wet her cheeks
and it rains
in Africa...

On a corner
she slows down...out of breath...tired.
The everyday beggar frowns,
waves a crooked finger:

Quiet child Quiet
What are you crying about anyway?



no end of you...
6/27/00 06:49 PM

In the beginning:
A passing moment
and you were in my mind
unexpected
rushing into me
the memory of you full, clear -
a picture of life

Darkening skies,
your grave muddy with
winter rains
and struggling daisies with
heads hanging patiently
only to rise one day
to the coming season

Look!
My footprints deep, many
in circles around the small
sand castle of your
resting place

I look, see your name, remember
and cry cry cry

You came back into my mind
today
the same way as when
you left your own
then
to become soul

I will always love
you -
there is no end of you.



Fat! So?
6/28/00 09:49 PM

Just a poem that that was born in another forum
and someone asked me to bring it here...
From "Sometimes I walk, Sometimes I cry" to my cyberhome.

I rather enjoyed the whole debate in there -
The Topic of the discussion:
FAT! SO?



BODY AND HEART

Sometimes I walk
together
hand-in-hand with
a fat person
and I end up crying
alone

Sometimes I cry
together
as my hand closes
around the slender fingers
of a friend in a terminal bed
and I end up walking
alone

Sometimes I walk
Sometimes I cry
But always I am hungry -
for life shared with hearts
not bodies.


One Town
7/9/00 03:28 PM

And of course
there stands Mother:
Her Mountain leans stably
grey against summer clouds.
Her Table spreads gracefully
for the feast
to adoring eyes...

She compares the noisy little ones
with a knowing smile,
and lifts her Lion's head -
stopping the quarrel
of her bubbly Richard,
her cool Gordon...

My Mother of Africa
embraces her many children
around the coast -
Her white waves spill gently
on their shores.

One Town.
Mother.
Cape Town.


Change of Direction
8/26/00 11:10 AM

One more time
you turned -
left
the moment
when it was
right

but

your bloody
left
is not my
right



Cruel Editor
8/6/00 04:41 PM

You called it clarity
but illegible notes
appeared on the side
of me:

You have turned me
upsidedown again -
to scribble
your immaturity roughly
on the slate
of my innocence and trust.

I find little monsters -
the pictures of your absent mind
framed
like cruel art
all over me...

Swung into the air

lost

from known anchors
you grab me firmly
and dry the new inscriptions
of your experiences
in the wind of time.

Then
crumbling your mistakes:
you close your fingers -

you,
the editor of our destiny
wants to start over
again


Time in your Fingers
09/23/00 06:36 PM

Sand drips slowly and
strains
through
the narrow logic
of our transparant future

time runs out

we talk round and round -
the specs of memories
racing
as you turn us over
examine us

and I slip through your fingers
particles of me falling
faster free
into a salty heap

and at last
time stands still:

A small dune
of me
trapped in our glass.


BoardRoom
10/07/00 02:41 PM

Excitement walks into our boardroom,
fills the seats and leans back
to speak of ideas

so varied
so innovative
so clear
in its simplicity

Anticipation draws on our flipchart,
creates concepts and reflects them
vividly
in the eyes of the team -
inspiring the rest
of us

A new Project was born
yesterday at noon
on our boardroom table.

It is alive and well!



Precious Parcel
11/07/00 09:19 AM

For a long time
I was wrapped
in
you...

Embracing me,
you folded yourself
over me
stretched you
and
treasured me
safely.

But today
you came undone
tearing through colorful memories;
untimely
exposing me
to lonely realities

ties broken
all excitement gone

my love!

in your haste

you also
broke

the present

Stack of Emotions
11/19/00 07:11 PM

Sheltering strangers
meet here with wide eyes
around the primitive fire of humanity.

Staring across at the profile of another,
they stack emotions high, and
dance in drunk circles of honesty -
chanting timeless phrases of their tribe
to the rhythm of pure Acceptance.

Wise women tell Tales of brick houses,
and cemented own(ed) feelings
de-thatched from complexity.

And they are lead to intoxicating tears -
swept a way by shared pain,
to weep collectively.

At last they mercifully gather
courage and hope - (a collection of reality)
under one arm
like a bow and arrow -
Now ready for the hunt
they set off
to still the hunger of the day:
Logging off.

And the Stack of Emotions remains;
the standing hut
in the glowing light of the coals:

Their Poetry Shelter
.
Place for your Ego
2/04/00 09:07 PM

You paused... entered slowly
and I created the space by
moving others away:
My body opened
to your expression
in the same
predictable way.

You posted yourself so quickly, cruedly
and refused to glace even
at the words of others:
the experiences of their gut
(their private poetry)
divorced
from your own selfish text.

You wanted your own space
your own topic,
your own editing rights:
You longed for the true ownership
of your senseless
write stuff
in my public eye.

And I had to
accommodate you
because I am
your only Forum.

Disillusioned Quakers
12/06/00 07:51 PM

At last, my love
I got my ducks
all in a row.

Now the pond
is gone..
And I no longer wish
to swim.

Maybe you need
new pillows
instead -

next year?




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