| The Return of the King By J. R. R. Tolkien Ultra-Condensed by David J. Parker and Samuel Stoddard Aragorn We must travel the Paths of the Dead. Eowyn You'll die. (They don't.) Gandalf The Hordes of Mordor will destroy Minis Tirith. (They don't.) Gandalf We must attack Mordor. We'll all be killed. (They aren't.) Gollum Mmmm, yummy finger! (dies) Frodo The Ring has been destroyed, but now we will die in Mordor. Sam Buck up, Master Frodo. (A bunch of feathered DEUS EX MACHINAS come out of NOWHERE and save EVERYBODY.) THE END |