Ahoy, Matey! This be Jeffrey Tanner "the Terrible",  though there be some what knows me as Paul Coppolelli, or just plain Coppo; but by whatever name, all know me for a Poet, Pirate and Scoundrel.
This be some of me shipmates. That be Captain Grace Kelly O'Malley, Pirate Queen up on the balcony. That's Buck Kinnear next to her, with the big hat. Bo'sun Kate O'Ninetails hangin that lover-ly leg over the rail. My head. Mary Smith's head. Heads of the King and Queen Mum of Carvershire but they're not important. They're just royalty. Not Pirates.
Avast there, I'd best be shovin' off! We sail at dawn, for to plunder all the booty we can! Take what ye can! Give nothin' back! Gimme an R! Gimme an R! Gimme an R! What's that spell???
This is me, Clark Kenting as a mild mannered poet. 'Course, I'm hardly a mild mannered anything!