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| Ask Gfunk |
| Life's tough questions answered by Gfunk, your friendly neighborhood E3 columnist. |
| The E3 Staff would like to remind their readers that while GFunk does currently hold the prestigeous Silver Shovel award for his overall bullshit, he is not a licenced Psychiatrist/Psychologist/Therapist/Counselor, holds no advanced degrees of any kind, has no relevant scientific field experience, and against all advice is not a member of any 12-Step Groups. Still, he has checked out many texts on administering advice and therapy from his local library (some of which were skimmed, none actually read) and he once took a course in Psychology. With this said, please take these beautiful nuggets of wisdom offered in response to his readers' questions and apply them in your own life where applicable. |
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| Gfunk Replies: Kill Her. Don't get caught. |
| *The E3 Staff would like to take this opportunity to again remind everyone that Gfunk is NOT authorized to practice any type of counseling or therapy in any form, much less in the marital field. All advice in this article should be taken with user discretion, and be used for entertainment purposes only. Whew. Ok, I think we've covered our asses enough on this one, guys.... |
| Above: Wayne and that evil bitch he calls his wife, along with their son, in happier times. |
| Wayne Janakowski of Cherry Hill, NJ writes: Dear Gfunk, I'm at a crossroads in my life which I don't know how to deal with. For fifteen years, I've been married to someone whom I thought was the most wonderful woman in the world. Recently, some friends of mine informed me that my wife Maria has slept with half the men in town! I was outraged and didn't want to believe it at first. I finally confronted her about it, and she denied ever being unfaithful to me. Well, a couple of days after that, I took off of work early to surprise her and apologize for being a dumbass and letting my friends influence me with lies... I bought flowers and went home to make up with her. Sure enough, when I came in a couple hours early she was on the couch doing the nasty with our plumber! I left and haven't been back to my house since. I can't believe this is happening to me... I've been nothing but supportive to that woman! I worked two jobs while she went back to school to get her communications degree... I didn't even point out that nobody even knows what the hell a communications degree is! And she has the nerve to do this to me... and our son! Gfunk, please tell me what to do. I feel like I'm going crazy and I might do something to her I will regret. I need your wisdom and guidance! I'm in anguish waiting for the answers! Please help! (11/22/2002) |
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| Send us your questions! Gfunk wants to help you solve life's problems! |