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Not a whole hell of alot to report kiddies. It seems that by some strike of luck (and the intervention of the lovely and talented Ms. Dawn Chubai) I find myself the proud owner of a BIG MUG!! To those of you outside Edmonton that wont mean a damn thing. Long story short, there's a station in Edmonton called A-channel which bears an eerie resemblance to Toronto's city-tv run by the meglomaniacal owner of bravo, showcase and both much musics, The almighty moses Znaimer!! As City has a show called "breakfast television", A-channel has a show called "The big breakfast". The BIG MUG is a huge coffee mug given away to some lucky viewer with the Big Breakfast and A-channel logos on it. Breakfast television gives you nothing. I didn't say it's BIG news did I?!?

Gee... april 11th. It HAS been awhile since I've updated this page eh? But what's for news? Tryin' to shape up the bomber for the drive back home to Toronto, my back's screwed and K's collecting for Alberta health care now. Brow beating deadbeat butt-rustlers who don't wanna pay for their health care and whatnot. Being canadians they shouldn't have to(seein' as how this is a socialist country and all)but apparently Alberta's they only province that charges premiums. Kinda futile because even if you owe them millions they can't cut you off. Interesting no?

Ahh... Natural selection! What a wonderful way nature has of telling folks how useless they really are to the rest of the herd! Problem is, The rest of the herd wont let the poor bastards die these days! Let's face some facts here people, If you're in the tub and have a sudden craving for toast, you are MEANT to die! If one feels the need to hop the fence and feed the cute cuddly kodiaks then they deserve whatever munching they recieve. But it's more than that isn't it? When we see that idiot going over the bars we tend to tell him "no man! Don't go in there!" instead of letting the natural order of things play it's course and maybe loading up the handy-cam! By doing this you're ensuring a nice warm feeling like you've just done something good for your fellow man. On the way home from the zoo as you're feeling wonderful about you, you and your family are killed in a repugnant manner! seems the moron you warned (who is now alive to do this thanx to you) starts looking for the quarter he dropped in the car the other day causing him to swerve and run you into a retaining wall at 100 KPH! Point is, let nature do her job or she'll bite you in the ass.
Class dismissed kiddies!

Well the zoo is growin'! It seems that my darling K went out to grab a bag of cat chow and came home with a lizard!A wee green anole happened to catch her eye for only $10.00. Well, after $100 worth of accessories the li'l bastard died on the way home! Who'd have thought a reptile would bake to death on the dashboard of the car in under 5 minutes? I'd have thought he'd love it but alas it fried his green scaly ass. Thus ended the short yet pointless existance of Anatoly the anole. What was I to do? I immediately phoned up petsmart and informed them of the late lizard, attached a wee D.O.A. tag to his toe and bagged him. All's well that ends well though, I traded my erstwhile (and quite limp) lizard for a brand new one. Who is at this moment sunning himself on a rock. No name as of yet. As far as I'm concerned he's just a novelty who could meet with a brutal and diabolical end and I would lose tears over it. It would make room for my new Chameleon!

POTHEADS UNITE!!!
It's a common problem nowadays, Some dude comes to the park with his family. He plays with the kids and grills some dogs. Perhaps throws a frisbee around. After a while he and his buddy/brother go down to the lake to smoke a joint at the waterside. When he gets back he is arrested in front of his wife and children and treated like a criminal!I've seen some cases where the children of the man in the back seat are told by "Friendly Mr. Officer" That his/her daddy IS a criminal and he is a bad man! This man then has to face a child who sees him as the same bad guy that daddy's always said not to talk to.
The D.A.R.E. program is another gem dear to a wombat's heart. An international program started by the Americans (long may they amuse us Canadians). These fine folks once spearheaded by the irreproachable Arsenio Hall send folks to grade schools and use flawed (yet charismatic) logic to tell little billy and little suzie why their parents are evil and to turn them in for whatever they can! THIS is a program supported by parents everywhere? I think not! Using the innocent children to arrest their parents is one of the most disgusting and evil things I can think of. Not to mention very damaging to the kids they're "protecting". Orwell forsaw these tactics in his book 1984 should any americans care to read it. Or in most cases read AT ALL!
Listen folks. As one who's smoked pot with a large cross-section of our culture, (yes even with off duty law types), I find that we are EVERYWHERE! Do you honestly believe our government is entirely made up of folks that have never smoked pot?!? We make up a large and powerful lobby in North america and it's about time we got off our asses instead of letting organizations like N.O.R.M.L. and N.O.R.M.L. Canada do all the work and take all the heat. Revolt my friends, we are the power now.