Bios
Want a Job? Get off your lazy ass and get one. Want to write for The Swafe? E-mail us an article and we will get back to you.
Home
Other Bios:
Name: Justin
Age: 17
Location: Indiana
I was born in the 80s.  That is where I currently reside.That has been a huge problem for me.  That has prevented me from being up on "trends" or "current bands" and even "national tragedies".  So naturally in middle school when people were talking about Sublime, I was un-cool because I liked Fish Bone. Fuck that.Another huge problem is that I enjoy pissing people off.To do this I say things like "Allyah got what she deserved", "or oil is more valuable than blood".  Wonder why those things work? People are really uptight. My life, is the most boring thing ever.

Favorite Movies:
Anything by George A. Romero(Night Of the Living Dead, Brusier, etc)
The Evil Dead Trilogy
Reservoir Dogs
A Clockwork Orange
Indiana Jones Trilogy

Music
The Beatles
The Ramones
Rush
Weezer (Blue and Pinkerton)
Most anything from the 80's
Alice Cooper
The Misfits
Our man In Japan, Phil
Good bad he's the guy with the fun!!!!
Justen Martinez
Name: Johnny
Age: 17
Location: Indiana

Greetings, I am Johnnytron 4863BzX0, robot of the future. I have been sent through time to the beginning of existence. I currently go by the human
name, Johnny and I am single-handedly responsible for everything that is a historic landmark.
The American Revolution, that was me. Columbus discovering America: guitly. Extinction of dinosaurs... yep. The only historical thing I am NOT
responsible for is Women's Suffrage, so don't blame me. Everything from the invention of fire to the black plague, I am responsible for.
Lately I have been laying low, disguised as a lowly teenage kid with hopes and dreams of one day resurrecting Hitler for the sole purpose of cutting his nuts off and stappling them to his head... Sadly, Hitler was my doing.
When I was 45983 years old (aka my freshman year), I was a dick to everyone. I had no friends and liked it that way. Then I started doing drugs and what a grand experience it was. My memory chip is clogged too much with
cocaine and titty residue to remember too much from this year.
Then the summer after said freshman year, I had sexual intercourse with a woman named Laurie, then I met a gorgeous earth girl named Samantha at a party and we started dating soon after. I then again experienced what you earth-folk call sex. More drugs followed during this time period.
It wasn't until sophomore year that I realized that I should have friends. I met an earth male by the name of Nick (in the year 3450 ad, the name Nick is replaced by the name Titty, incase that clears up any confusion as to why I call him Titty on occassion). We did numerous drugs together and had our share of adventures. Also, Brandon came into the picture. He is a master at the guitar (or as we call it back home, music stick). I invented the guitar by the way. Brandon and I have also had some grand adventures. The middle of the sophomore year introduced the 3rd member of what is now known as "The Pudding Posse", Justin. Justin claims that he cannot deploy his manhood into the cargo bay of a woman, but I think it will all be done in due time.
The rest of time as we know it is pretty uneventful up until now, the present day. We still scower the depths of the earth in search of what all of human-kind seeks... sex. No luck as of now for any of us, but we will get ours, or go blind wacking!
I seem to know too much about random and stupid shit for my own good. Between the 3 of us (me, Justin, and Nick) I think we know more useless information than anyone on the planet... It's kinda sad. I stick by the belief that one day, our useless information will be used to help us achieve something great, but I really doubt it.
Look for updates on my wonderful tales of my trips through time, known as "Johnny's Great Moments in History". See ya next time kids, eatin' the pudding.