in 12 easy steps!!
so i ask you, 'why not?'
jarv is obviously cooler than you are. by a lot. take it from me, you are nothing compared to jarvis.
nope, nothing.
i know, you're sitting there disagreeing with me. you're wrong. yup. wrong-oh.
go on, admit it. say it out loud. 'jarvis is cooler than i am.'
you'll feel much better when you do. (remember! admitting you have a problem is the first step to recovery!!)
right. now that we've got that out of the way. . .
go to your local vintage/thrift clothing shop. pick out the most seventies outfit you can. nothing casual now!! remember, you never know who you'll run into. a jarvis always looks well groomed. [see fig. 1, 3]
step 2
go to some shop that sells all sorts of sunglasses. find the biggest pair you can, with the thickest rims. if you can, buy a few pairs. at least one pair should fade. [see figs. 2-4]
step 3
go to a hairdresser. bring a picture of jarvis. say you want your hair to look *exactly* like that. a colour picture is helpful, then you can get your new jarvisie cut dyed as well!!
step 4
loose weight. unless you have exatly the same build as jarvis (which you probably don't), you probably should weigh less. the look you are going for here is 'lanky, bordering on stick-figure.' [see fig. 5]
step 6
start smoking 'silk cut' brand ciagarettes. who cares about cancer? you're looking more like jarvis every day!!
take me back to
the beginning!!
