sod that - laura - this is your Happy Birthday letter. . .written in anthropology 100 - 04.25.01. . .the night before the BRMC show. well. . .im going to tell you a story:
once upon a time there was a little girl called rick. this was a Very Strange Name for a girl, so to deal with that fact rick became a Very Strange Girl, not to mention a Complete Bastard. well, rick had a friend called vyv, which wouldn't be a strange name for a girl, but she was named for a boy named vyv. rick & vyv both thought it would be a fab idea for them to run off to london together. and so they did. whilst in london rick & vyv found all sorts of neat things to take home with them like records and Pop Stars*. the Pop Stars* caused a bit of trouble in the airport, as they did not want to be stuffed in Doggie Crates (except for their fluffytops, who caused no problems, as they were alright with the fact that they would be spending the rest of their lives Under-the-Bed). an especially Big Fuss was made by rick's & vyv's jarvis', who seemed to want actual seats on the plane Very Badly Indeed. the jarvis' (two, one for each) had quite a lot of Pride, which was part of the reason rick & vyv thought them so cute. the girls settled and told the jarvis' that they could have seats, but only if they would paint the moz's Doggie Crates black, so it would be easier to coax them inside. the jarvis' agreed. while the jarvis' were painting away, rick & vyv were trying to talk their bretts into their crates, promising that they would find loads of lovely boys in the states for the bretts to write pretty songs about. now, the girls were quite lucky, for whilst in london they chanced upon a pair of neils. the neils were far from Pop Stars*. they wrote loads and loads of lovely books. the neils, like the fluffytops, also had no problem getting into their Doggie Crates. (the reason for this was that the neils were not very social creatures, and loved to sit in the dark, occasionally whilst eating french fries.) finally, everyone was in his respective Doggie Crate, except for the jarvis', who got seats, and managed to keep rick & vyv awake throughout the 10 hour flight, talking to them about philosophy and using loads of silly metaphors (like comets).
when everyone was safe and sound in california, rick & vyv went their separate ways and took their separate Pop Stars* and neils with them.
~fin~
~epilogue~
rick & vyv ended up having loads of problems with their Pop Stars*. the mozs didnt like being in their closets and Demanded More Attention. the fluffytops whined about not having enough light Under-the-Bed to do their makeup. the bretts were a bit sad because they were always Slightly Bored, and the jarvis' drank too much beer, although they did enjoy a good cocktail once in a while. the neils, however, were thriving and wrote some really wonderful poems and stories. every once in a while, rick & vyv got together and had tea together and chatted about their Pop Stars* and neils. they decided to send the mozs, bretts, fluffytops, and jarvis' back to london (on One Overcast Afternoon), and with some sadness and some gladness, they did.
i hope you liked the story. . .and i still have an hour and 50 minutes left! ARRRG!!!
regards, cheers, etc. . .
linz
or you might not. it's entirely possibly that you don't care to know. our feelings aren't hurt. it's okay. (sniffle)
take me back to
the beginning!!
