Road


CHARLES, MY LOVE

Charles was so good.

He came over as often as he could

although I could tell he was shocked by my narrow room

with its one narrow window

hard narrow cot

and with only my lamp as a decoration.


He always wanted to take us both away

as fast as he could

to a restaurant

or to the movies

or even to the zoo.


Often I stood outside

when he dropped me off

and watched his litte red Ford go down the street

around the corner

and disappear


and I wished with all my heart and mind and soul and body

that I could go with him back down the road

that led to college and laughter and fun and belonging.


After a while, he came less often.


I called him

from the payphone

and he was always so nice

kind

compassion in his voice


but sometimes he was just too busy to come visit me.


I could hear the laughing and talking in the background

because of course he answered the phone in the hall

of his dorm

not some anonymous payphone

in a dank dark lobby

of a brick building

called a YWCA

in a city which he knew nothing about.


When he did come

he told me stories about Professor Arden

slamming his head against the blackboard

when he was frustrated


about his algebra class

and his struggles with math

and getting a D

instead of the C he felt he deserved


and about Annie's new roommate

who was funny

and made them all laugh

and how Annie said to say "Hi" to me


and about the Sadie Hawkins Day Dinner

and how he got asked by Joyce

and he went just to be polite

but I was never for a moment out of his thoughts.


After a while

I realized that I had nothing to offer him.


He wouldn't be interested in any of the ladies at work

or their dirty jokes


or how hard it was to live on $42.00 a week

when it cost me $5.00 to get my clothes washed

and $9.00 for bus-fare to work

and $20 for food even if I didn't eat much



and how I didn't think I would ever be able to save enough money

to go back to college.


One day he didn't come at all

and I never saw him again.


A few months later

when I was on my break at work

I saw his engagement picture in the paper.



Music Playing: You Decorated My Life

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Copyright 2001 by Diary of a Preacher's Daughter


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