My heart went crazy in my chest.
I looked up into his face.
Oh, he was so beautiful!
My body yearned toward him.
"Did you have your second son
of a second son?"
I asked, and was embarrassed that my voice came out a whisper.
"No, we can't have children,"
he answered
gazing at my three jumping beans with a little smile.
"None of these have red hair like mine."

I laughed a wavery laugh.
"That's because they aren't yours,"
I said,
and was embarrassed that I made such a dumb statement.
I felt like a first-class dope!
"I only wish they were,"
he said, squatting and taking my baby daughter's hand in his.
"Can I come see you?"
he asked her
and she giggled
and batted her blue eyes
and nodded.
"It's okay with her,"
Charles said
standing up and looking right at me.
"Is it okay with you, Lynna-Girl?"
I was having trouble with my mind
because it was going weak and soft
especially when he remembered my pet name
but I did remember
that this gorgeous red-haired man
had left me standing alone
with no one to lean on
and so I said "No."
I didn't say it because I was strong
or because I was a Christian
or because my being no longer yearned towards him
or because I was married
or even because I was a Mom.
I said it because I didn't want to give him the satisfaction
of thinking I had ever given him another thought!
Music Playing: Who's Sorry Now
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Copyright 2001 by Diary of a Preacher's Daughter
This story is a continuation of Diary of a Preacher's Daughter.
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