Guilt, Grief, and Darkness--The Lighthouse On The Corner Ministries

Guilt, Grief, and Darkness

By Ed Crabtree, Rev. ULC
©2002 The Lighthouse On The Corner Ministries

This past week, a situation was bought to the attention of those of us who subscribe to the Interfaith Christians e-mail discussion group, which I would like to explore today. This situation involved one of our ministers sharing a case with us wherein they were counseling a friend who was experiencing grief due in part to her children. This case involved a Grandmother now raising a granddaughter due to the untimely accident that took the life of her daughter, the mother of the child. From childhood, this kind lady has been so brainwashed by false doctrine from her church that she is now so firmly convinced that her daughter is burning in hell because she (the daughter) turned away from the family's church in her final years, the lady is therefore so wrought with guilt and pain that she is near suicidal.

I cannot comment on this particular situation as I only know the facts involved as presented in the paragraph above, however this type of scenario is played out on a daily basis and has been experienced by the faithful in the past for generations. Let us not dwell on discussing the fate of those departed souls, but rather on those who survived and now are languishing in pain and suffering brought on by false doctrine. Let us examine the fate of those who now live in a quagmire of guilt due to their having been intentionally or unintentionally brainwashed by dogma from fundamentalist teachings that unfortunately only focus on scriptures that when falsely translated instill a complex in the laity that renders them susceptible to control. For instance how many times have you known someone who lost a loved one and then spends the rest of their days in sorrow, not over the loss but worrying about the soul of the departed? Or perhaps you know someone who has spent a lifetime in a situation or relationship that is so hopeless that it destroys the very soul of the child of God caught between following the doctrines that they have been led to believe were righteous, or climbing out of that rut into the light and experiencing the joy and wonderful life that can be found in the true light of God's message.

In past sermons we have addressed the importance of knowledge in obtaining salvation. Obviously we are referring to the truth contained in the Holy Bible as well as the truth in the observations of those who through divine guidance have offered us bits of wisdom about God's love for all his children. Instead of accepting anything and everything you are told by any minister (including me) or any philosopher as the truth, take time to study and use the ability that God gave you to reason things out for yourself, so that you know the truth that comes with knowledge. Far too often throughout history, some of the clergy has used fear, guilt and other false doctrines as propaganda to control the children of God, not to do God's work but for the personal agenda of the minister or the cleric. It is apparent that manipulative minds can readily distort the scriptures in order to produce feelings of fear, guilt, remorse and even hysteria. The followers of the likes of Jim Jones and Osama bin Laden are prime examples of this.

Now let us look at actions by ministers that are far less sinister than that of Jones or Ben Ladem but at times just as malfeasant.

While doing the research for this sermon I stumbled across an editorial written by a minister of a mainstream Christian fundamentalist denomination here in the United States. This minister told the story of how a few years ago, he asked a mother who was a member of his congregation, the whereabouts of her teenage daughter who he had noticed absent in church that Sunday morning. The Mother explained that the daughter had asked to attend church of another mainstream fundamentalist Christian denomination with a girlfriend who was a member of the other church. The Mother expressed that it was her opinion that the daughter should be allowed to explore her Christian beliefs and arrive at a system that she could be comfortable with.

This Minister went on to assert that the actions of this Mother, by not forcing the child to attend his Church was what led to the child having in later years turned away from the body of Christ. Obviously this minister in his editorial is trying to use guilt to lead his flock to believe that unless they make their children attend and support HIS CHURCH and follow the gospel as HE INTERPRETS IT that they are dooming their children to a life of damnation should the child so choose to attend a church of another mainstream denomination. This implies that only through his particular denomination can salvation be obtained. Can you imagine the burden of guilt this would place on many of the laity, thinking that by their actions they had allowed their children to drift off the path towards salvation into the darkness of damnation, just because they allowed their child to attend another church? In my opinion this is not all what God intended or Christ taught.

This very concept makes many question the validity of such doctrines. We all know folks of other denominations that are walking in the light of God, and obviously know the meaning of salvation. Are these folks doomed to damnation just because they attend another church? Even the current Catholic Pope has issued an opinion that the Roman Catholic church acknowledges that there are those outside of their belief system that have obtained salvation, why can't the fundamentalist churches here admit that even other fundamentalist Christian churches can offer a system of beliefs by which their members can obtain salvation? Now don't think that I am attacking fundamentalist churches, this same train of thought applies to all. As ministers we must be careful of what we present to our congregations and as lay people we must study what is presented to us for its validity.

Let me share another couple of situations with you. Twenty some years ago a young lady we know, married a young man who she thought at the time was the perfect match for her. After just six months she realized that she had made a horrible mistake and that the husband she had took for better or worse, was worse than her wildest dreams. She decided that she would be best served by filing for divorce and getting out of this situation before children further complicated it. She then sued for divorce and spent the next several years trying to deal with the guilt she felt arising from all the teachings she had been programmed with that told her that divorce was a sin. She had such a hard time dealing with this that she became physically ill and remained so for years, until she searched the Bible with an open mind and found the light of God's true message. She finally realized that had she remained in that relationship, by his un-Godly actions her husband would have led her away from the path of righteousness. She also came to realize that by her allowing the dogma of the false doctrine that she had been programmed with fill her heart with self doubt and guilt, she was denying herself the full glory and joy of God's true light. So she prayed for guidance and through knowledge, rid herself of this guilt and now walks in the glory of God.

A man we know entered into much the same type of relationship as the woman above, except his wife choose to escape the glory of God's promise and dwell in a fantasy world induced by an addiction to prescription drugs. This man spent thirteen years trying to get help for his wife and her addiction, but she refused any assistance he found for her. She simply did not want out of the drug-induced stupor. This man having been programmed as most of us were in that no matter what, we should support our spouses and never consider divorce, eventually found that he was being lead away from God's path onto a pathway of destruction. His inability to resolve the situation sent him to the depths of depression. Then like the lady who was wrought over the prospect that the soul of her daughter now burns in hell, this man also considered suicide as an answer. Although this man had found the Lord years before, he had simply made the mistake of not listening to the Lord and his friends and family when he married this woman. Then through self doubt, guilt and not following the advice he was given by everyone including the Lord he remained in this destructive situation, thinking that he was only doing what was right based on the dogma and false teachings he had been programmed with. Finally after much prayer he again placed himself in the Lord's hands, who shortly thereafter delivered him from the bondage so smoothly and with such ease it was apparent to all that the hand of God had been working.

So the point that I am trying to make from these examples, is that through misinterpretation of God's commandments and scriptures by those who seek to instill a condition of guilt, grief or fear in us, just to keep us on God's pathway as they see that path, sometimes we are opening ourselves up to a situation that will destroy our souls and deny us salvation. Sometimes this condition gets so far out of hand that it even ruins the lives of all around us. Consider the person who thinks they are only following scripture, and then allows themselves to become so consumed by guilt that they unintentionally destroy the lives of those who care about them. The man who was married to the drug addict had family and friends that were deeply concerned about his well being, so his situation deeply effected their lives for years. And should the grandmother consumed by guilt and worry over the soul of her daughter commit suicide, she will be placing the granddaughter as well as other loved ones in a devastating position. And how many families do you know that have been destroyed or are now suffering because one person refuses to get out of a destructive situation? Consider the families of those individuals that died at Waco. In my opinion, people died there needlessly, because they thought they were following the path of righteousness when in actuality they were mislead by the doctrine of a malfeasant cult.

It is so important that we teach others that Faith, Works, and Knowledge of the scriptures instead of blind adherence to the dogma of doctrine presented by those only interested in growing their own churches and controlling their congregations through the use of the feelings of guilt and fear, is the key to finding salvation in Christ. God so loved us that he gave his only Son to die for our sins, it was never his intent for us to waste this wonderful sacrifice by falling into the depths of darkness, due to our having being mislead by doctrine made by mankind.

If you are in a situation that is killing your very soul, dragging you into the depths of darkness, then please, please, seek the knowledge of God's true message and rid yourself of the bondage of guilt from control inspired dogma and doctrine. Open your heart to the light, listen to the voice of the Lord Jesus Christ, and seek the knowledge that along with faith and your own good works will deliver you from evil and allow you to find salvation.