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As an Aussie cricketer, Warwick Todd spends much of his
time on tour. In this section, we get his view of touring the world
with the team.
"I well remember my first international tour. I was rooming with the great Dennis Lillee. The night before our first match I lay in bed so excited all I could do was talk about myself - my hopes, my plans for the future, what I wanted to achieve from cricket. Fot was such a good listener he barely uttered a word. You could have easily mistaken him for being asleep". "As a test cricketer I've travelled the world and seen some pretty terrible sights (the memory of Arjuna Ranatunga in the showers still haunts me)... I tell you, if you ever need reminding just how good we've got it back in Australia, spend a few hours wandering through the slums of Calcutta... As well as the substandard housing there were beggars just about everywhere. They'd look up at you with those big brown eyes, imploring you to hand over a few rupees. Which normally I'd be happy to do but not one of them could provide a receipt. What's the point of charity if it's not tax deductible?" |
Toddy departs on the team bus |
"The Taj is really one of the wonders of the modern world, up there with the great pyramids of Egypt & Melbourne's Crown Casino" - That's Toddy, on the right! |
Todd also had this to say about India:
"There's no doubt they love their cricket here in Calcutta and 80 000 are expected on Wednesday, with many fans having saved all year to afford the 200 rupee (about $4) entrance fee for the cheapest seats, which tend to be either way up the back or on fire... "The only people not carried away by our win were the Indian fans... Reading the paper this morning revealed that one Bombay supporter was so upset with India losing that he fired a shotgun into his television before turning the weapon on himself. It brings home just how seriously local fans take the game over here, when you think that someone could get so carried away they'd actually damage a TV". "All around you suicidal rickshaw drivers desperately try to make a living. One bloke we hired for a short trip back to the hotel was nothing but skin and bone and although he peddled hard he simply couldn't make it up the hill. Eventually a half dozen or so of us got out to make it easier but he still took ages. Naturally there was no tip". |
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Airport delays and long flights are something Toddy and the team find very boring: "Naturally enough we had one or two drinks to help pass the time and eventually our boarding call came. Unfortunately none of us heard it. Finally they closed the bar on us and we were forced to board. No sooner had I got on the plane than I found someone sitting in my seat. The little bastard refused to move and I was that close to demanding to speak with the pilot when Ponts pointed out this guy was the pilot. I don't remember much about the flight after this point". "This led to several minor 'incidents' breaking out, including a couple of good natured scuffles, a full-on food fight and an impromptu game of touch footy". Todd speaks here about the team on tour, and the jokes they play on
each other:
"Of course, sharing rooms can make nocturnal activities a little problematic for those involved. Little wonder our team physio is so popular - he's one of the lucky few with a room of his own. It's said that for a dozen cold ones Hooter will let you (and your 'companion') use his room for half an hour. For two dozen he'll even wait outside". |
Todd arriving at Chennai airport |
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A bit of duty free shopping |
"At the team meeting before a test we like to go through
each member of the opposition and identify his weaknesses... One
of the problems we've been facing in the field is that a lot of the Indian
team don't speak English and are therefore very difficult to unsettle verbally.
That's when I played my trump card, producing a little booklet I'd picked
up in Calcutta that listed a dozen offensive Hindu and Tamil expressions.
Little gems like:
Poondah - poofta Dai soothala pootan - stick it up your bum Dai teh vedia mahana - son of a prostitute Plus a whole lot more that could be used to question everything from a player's sexuality and physical endowment through to the authenticity of his hair". Todd recalls the details of a similar meeting on an Ashes tour:
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While on tour, cricket writers and the press have a lot
to say, but Toddy reveals how he is wise to their little tricks after many
years:
"If they call you 'pugnacious' it means you're fat. A 'gritty innings' is one where you were dropped at least twice. A 'fierce competitor' tends to mean they think you're a complete psychopath. And watch out if you're called 'a great team man' - you're about to be dropped". Health and fitness are other issues that Todd takes seriously when on
tour:
"To make matters worse, I seem to have picked up a nasty dose of the flu. My body's so stiff and aching it feels like I spent the night sleeping in a gutter (whereas I know for a fact I couldn't have been there more than two hours before the cops woke me). A trip to the local doctor confirmed the news - flu - and I was prescribed a course of antibiotics. The doctor warned me these were not to be taken with alcohol, so for the next few days I'll have to do the sensible thing and not take them". |
"Swampy's training sessions could often leave you breathless". |
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'The Warwick Todd Diaries', 'Warwick Todd - Back in the Baggy Green' and 'Warwick Todd Goes the Tonk' are available from all leading book stores. Thank you for visiting my webpage and reading this. |
