| 7:53pm As Pearlman, Chester steps carefully outside, he spots three squirrels working together to haul a water cooler out of Mary Graydon Center. Staying in the shadows, he follows them onto the Quad, behind the library, and he followed them as they veered right at South Side, and watched them walk into the Chemistry Building. Carefully, he followed them to the building, but remained outside. He decided he'd better formulate a plan. As he walked around the building, he came upon a window. Peering through, he saw an amazing sight: squirrels, hundreds of them, were stacking Brita, water coolers, bottles, water of all kinds, inside the organic chemistry laboratory. He couldn't believe it. Chester began to wonder where the Squirrel Queen was. However, his thoughts were interrupted by a scream, followed by a hacking cough. "Get the hell outta here, sonny! This ain't your property," said a hoarse, meancing voice. Suddenly, from the shadows, the bushes, and the side of the building lept 8 old men and women. Chester was surrounded. "Excuse me?" Chester said. "Don't talk back to me, lad," said one of the old men. "I think that one needs a whuppin'," said an old lady. With a scream, all 8 of them descended upon Chester, kicking and beating him with their canes. Chester was conflicted: on one hand, these were crazy old people; on the other hand, they were crazy old people who were beating the shit out of him. Deciding it was justified, Chester began to fight back. Within minutes, Chester defeated the elderly. As they recovered, Chester raced into the building, full of adrenaline and ready to confront the squirrels and recover the water. However, when he burst into the organic chemistry lab, there was no one there, and not a trace of water or squirrels. "They used the old people as a diversion in order to escape unnoticed!"Chester realized, angrily. "Follow me into the desert as thirsty as you are," a voice said from the darkness. Deep Throat was back. "I don't know what just happened, and I have no idea where to find the squirrels now,"Chester said, exasperated. "Crack a smile and cut your mouth and drown in alcohol." "Huh?" "Cause down below the truth is lying beneath the river bed," Deep Throat continued. "I really do need to hurry up and figure this out, so..."Chester said, trying to prompt him to say what he had to say. "So quench yourself and drink the water that flows from overhead," Deep Throat said, as he walked away. "Well I'd get right on that...if there was water." Chester walked away, shaking his head. What the hell kind of Deep Throat makes no sense, he thought as he walked dejectedly back to Blues Hall to regroup. Next Previous The Adventures of Pearlman |