| Dihydrogen Monoxide--A Killer |
| The chemical compound dihydrogen monoxide (or DHMO) has been implicated in the deaths of thousands of Americans every year, mainly through accidental ingestion. In gaseous form, it can cause severe burns. And, according to a new report, "The dangers of this chemical do not end there." The chemical is so caustic that it "accelerates the corrosion and rusting of many metals, . . . is a major component of acid rain, (and) . . . has been found in excised tumors of terminal cancer patients." Symptoms of ingestion include "excessive sweating and urination," and "for those who have developed a dependency on DHMO, complete withdrawal means certain death" Yet the presence of the chemical has been confirmed in every river, stream, lake and reservoir in America. More..... |
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| *** NEW VIRUS!!!*** If you receive an email entitled "Badtimes", delete it immediately. Do not open it. Apparently this one is pretty nasty. It will not only erase everything on your hard drive, but it will also delete anything on disks within 20 feet of your computer. It demagnetizes the stripes on ALL of your credit cards. It reprograms your ATM access code, screws up the tracking on your VCR and uses subspace field harmonics to scratch any CD's you attempt to play. It will program your phone auto dial to call only 900 numbers. This virus will mix antifreeze into your fish tank. It will drink ALL your beer. FOR GOD'S SAKE, ARE YOU LISTENING!?!?!? It will leave dirty underwear on the coffee table when you are expecting company. It will replace your shampoo with Nair and your Nair with Rogaine, all the while dating your current boy/girlfriend behind your back and billing their hotel rendezvous to your Visa card. It will cause you to run with scissors and throw things in a way that is only fun until someone loses an eye. It will rewrite your backup files, changing all your active verbs to passive tense and incorporate undetectable misspellings which grossly change the interpretations of key sentences. If the "Badtimes" message is opened in a Windows 95/98 environment, it will leave the toilet seat up and leave your hair dryer plugged in dangerously close to a full bathtub. It will not only remove the forbidden tags from your mattresses and pillows, it will also refill your skim milk with whole milk. **WARN AS MANY PEOPLE AS YOU CAN!! |
| Dead Man Goes Unnoticed for 4 Years |
| Neighbors had long assumed the lonely old man moved from his Chicago home years ago. Mail piled up. Utilities were shut off. Grass grew. Paint peeled. The house was sold at a tax auction on Tuesday, and the new owners found him when they entered. He was sitting in a rocking chair, dead. Apparently, he had died in the chair and remained there for at least four years. "We are not uncaring neighbors over here on the northwest side of Chicago, I can tell you that, but we do mind our own business," explained neighbor Perry Grimaldi. "I do know my local neighbors, and when I think about this it kind of makes me sad." They Don't Even Remember His Name The man was such a loner that police can't find anyone who even remembers his name so they can identify the skeletal remains. Investigators said they found mail at the brick bungalow on North Central Ave. dating back to 1997. But at least one neighbor says she knows why no one remembers the man. "They were very, very unfriendly people," neighbor Marion Mizowski told The Associated Press of the man and his wife. "They wouldn't talk to anyone." She said they wouldn't even respond to simple greetings. But while some neighbors said he was unfriendly, others noted he was just old and suffering from Parkinson's disease (news - web sites) - and kept to himself. Janina Kolosowski said she noticed something was wrong because nobody took care of the yard. "I told my neighbor, I said 'call the police,'" said Kolosowski. "Maybe he was living in the garage or somewhere. But nobody wanted to bother because, you know, the law." Police say they are investigating the death. The postal service is working with police to identify the man. "I didn't think for the life of me that there was somebody who had been long dead in there because it's kind of really sad," lamented neighbor Grimaldi. |
| ***Warning, Bear Alert*** The Colorado State Department of Fish and Wildlife is advising hikers, hunters, fishers, and golfers to take extra precautions and keep alert for bears while in the Dillon, Breckenridge, and Keystone areas. They advise people to wear noise-producing devices such as little bells on their clothing to alert but not startle the bears unexpectedly. They also advise the carrying of pepper spray in case of an encounter with a bear. It is also a good idea to watch for fresh signs of bear activity. People should recognize the difference between black bear and grizzly bear droppings. Black bear droppings are smaller and contain berries and possibly squirrel fur. Grizzly bear droppings, have little bells in them and smell like pepper spray. |
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