[- Home -]-[-
MOVIE REVIEWS -]-[-
Staff Profiles -]-[-
Guestbook -]-[- Message Board -]-[- Editorials -]
[- the Movie Review Index -]
-----------------------------------------------------------------
Sometimes the best way for a group of people to bond is through tremendous pain and tragedy. Embracing this philosophy, the boys and girls of the Tomb agreed to inflict each other with some serious bad movie suffering in the form of "The 2007 Cinemasochists' Circle-Jerk". Think of it as the Olympics of craptacular movie watching.
____________________________________________________________________________
Summertime. Summertime. Sum-sum-summertime. Yeah. And nothing says summertime better than giant robots who turn into things and homicidal cheerleaders! As such, "The Third Twice Annual Tomb of Anubis Double Double Feature" brings you a double double feature we like to call "More Than Meets the Eye" and our "Ra-Ra-Rampage!". Anubis and Ragnarok tackle the big screen exploits of those lovable toys-turned-box office dandies known as the Transformers, while Anubis and Millionaire Waltz try-out for the squad with two cheerleader flicks from opposite ends of the spectrum.
|
"More Than Meets the Eye"
|
|
|
____________________________________________________________________________
The funny thing about our original Double Double Feature was that I called it a "Bi-Annual", thinking that that meant it was to occur twice a year. The original intention was that the Double Double Feature thing would be twice annual, meaning twice a year, not once every two years, which is what "bi-annual" means... Stupid, right? Well, anyway, things just happened to fall in place this week that this would be the perfect time for "The Second Twice Annual Tomb of Anubis Double Double Feature"! Ragnarok and Fistula both give their reviews/journals for the 2007 B-Fest while Nix and Anubis drop a double dose of serpentine tranportation mishaps.
|
|
|
|
____________________________________________________________________________
You know what'd be crazy? Having an evil twin. You'd know what'd be crazier? If you and your evil twin both had another evil twin. Why? If two of something is twice as good, than having two of two different somethings would be better! Right? Uhm, who the fuck knows. It's a gimmick, live with it. Originally intended as an Easter theme (because nothing says religious holiday like titties and the undead!), it got delayed by 5 days... we were drunk... and stoned... and sleeping a lot... leave me alone and just go read the reviews, okay?
|
|
|
|
____________________________________________________________________________
Everybody digs blasphemy, right? Shit, with all the rules and regulations imposed on us by popular religions, everybody dips into the Seven Deadly Sins or turns their back on the Ten Commandments from time-to-time, right? Well, turns out that doesn't matter because we Gods are dicks and we'll make you suffer everytime you don't do what we say. Sorry, we're petty little bitches like that. Besides, we made you and we can destroy your entire family tree with a single thought, so just continue dancing for us monkey... I SAID DANCE DAMN IT! Anyway, this roundtable is in honor of everybody's love for flipping God the bird once in a while. We thought it'd be cool to open the new "review crew" format with such, so we did just that. Check the links below to taste each contributor's addition to the melting pot of evil. Go evil!
Anubis - Satan's Supper
Fistula - Exorcism: the Possession of Gale Bowers
Nix Eclipse - Mark of the Devil
Ragnarok - Jesus Christ Vampire Hunter
All materials found within these reviews are the intellectual properties and opinions of the original writers. The Tomb of Anubis claims no responsibility for the views expressed in this review, but we do lay a copyright claim on it beeyotch, so don't steal from this shit or we'll have to go all Farmer Vincent on your silly asses. © March 5th 2006 and beyond, not to be reproduced in any way without the express written consent of the reviewers and the Tomb of Anubis or pain of a physical and legal nature will follow. Touch not lest ye be touched.
-----------------------------------------------------------------
|
|
