Chapter 14
Tuesday, May 9, 2000
Argh! I came so close to telling Jenny how I feel last night and I had to go and ruin everything! We were together inside the lift, just the two of us. I was about to tell her but I began to stutter, and I couldn’t get a single word out of my mouth! She started laughing, and she asked me if I was claustrophobic. I just nodded as we got out of the elevator. Talk about stupid! I was so angry at myself I kicked a wall, which made me lose my balance and made me fall flat on my bum! Very embarrassing… last night wasn’t my night at all. I’m determined to do something about it though. I’ll be hanging out with her a little later at the bar. Who knows? Maybe if I’m drunk enough I can finally tell her how much I truly do adore her.
Jenny’s diary
May 10, 2000
Dear Diary,
It’s already 3 in the morning but I just had to write this down. Bryan McFadden told me that he loves me! Can you believe it? Well, we were all sitting at the bar and everyone was there. After a couple of drinks some of them were really drunk. They were all so funny, but they usually all are, so I have no idea who was drunk and who wasn’t. We decided to play a game of spin the bottle, coz we came across all the silly stuff we used to do when we were a lot younger. After a few silly dares and stuff, Bryan was dared by Nicky to tell everyone who does he really love. Bryan got up on his chair, wobbling, and called everyone’s attention in the room. He suddenly jumped down, knelt on one knee before me and said, “Jenny, I love you so much. I adore you and I would do anything for you. I want you to know that I really do love you.”
He must’ve been really drunk to pull off something like that! Mark was having a cow after that, I think I know why, but Bryan was smiling from ear to ear!
Part of me wishes Bryan wasn’t drunk. I hope what he said was true. Wouldn’t it be great if he did love me? Well, the other part of me wishes it wasn’t true. As I’ve said before, I don’t want to get involved with either Mark or Bryan. I don’t want us to be branded as the Westlife girls. In all of the interviews I’ve had, they are asking me who’s Westlifer girl am I. I know I haven’t done a lot of interviews yet but 9 out of 10 are asking me that question. One more thing, I don’t want to fall for Bryan because I know he isn’t serious. He’s never serious in his relationships. I am hoping he’d be serious this time, if ever what he told me was true. But then again, there’s the very sweet Mark Feehily. He looks so sincere in everything he says and does. Very unlike Bryan I might add. In short, Mark is everything and anything I could ever ask for. I am starting to fall for him as well. Sadly, I don’t want to. In my heart, I know I want to be with Bryan. We have a lot more in common. Mark can be quite boring sometimes. He usually wants to spend some quiet time. It’s not that I don’t like it, but I usually want to go out and party. Mark does love to party but… we’re just different. We can’t seem to connect. Bryan and I, well, that’s a totally different story. He can finish my sentences without being given any hints, he knows exactly what I want and what I feel. It’s just been 5 days since we met but I feel like he knows me inside out. I never used to believe in those things. Those things that you usually read in fanfics about a girl meeting her fave westlife guy and after a few hours or a few days they become best friends and fall for each other. Let’s face it, these things truly take time. But with Bryan… he made me believe everything is totally possible.