You'll Never Stand Alone
Chapter 8
Becky startled when she heard the phone and it took almost half a
minute before she picked up the receiver. “Hello?”
“Well hello there sweetie… Whassup?” Becky didn’t believe this,
how the hell did he get her number? Sure he had her old number,
but not this one. And since they didn’t have any mutual friends it
seemed a bit strange, she didn’t have to think about that very long
though, cos James explained it himself.
“So, I noticed that you’ve changed your phone number. Not cos of
me I hope… Well, that really doesn’t matter now does it? You
wouldn’t believe how easy it is to get someone’s phone number
these days, you just make a little phone call, tell them the name of
the person you wanna call and some other details and voilá… the
number is yours… he, he…” Would he never stop? Why couldn’t he
just leave her alone and get a life of his own? Becky took a deep
breath and said, “What do you want James?”
“Me? Oh nothing! I just wanted to call and see how you were
y’know, like friends do…”
“Friends? I think you’d better look that word up in a dictionary, cos
believe you me, you’re as far away from that definition as you could
possibly get!” Once again Becky got a shock; she wasn’t normally
this self-secure. ‘Maybe love does this to people?’ she thought to
herself, but then she quickly pushed that thought aside. ‘I’m not in
love with Nicky! Of course I’m not, I can’t be! I’m never gonna love
anybody again, I promised myself that…’ Her thoughts got
interrupted by the idiot on the other line.
“Babe? Are you still there? Y’know, if I were you, I’d watch it… You
never know when I might be walking right behind you… Or maybe
I’ll just turn up outside your apartment some day, maybe tomorrow,
maybe next week or maybe in a fortnight… That’s the beauty of it, I
won’t tell you when I decide to come and finish what I started six
months ago…” The effect that those words had were the same as if
someone had just punched her right in her stomach. Was James
still after ruining her life after all this time? Becky didn’t say
anything; she hung up the phone and slowly sank down on the floor
with tears flowing down her cheeks.
“Dad, why can’t you be here to help me?” she whispered between
her sobs. Becky and her father had been very close; she could, and
always did, talk to him about everything. He would always be there
to listen and try to help her the best he could, but now he wasn’t…
‘I have to talk to dad!’ Becky thought. She grabbed her bag and left
to visit her father’s grave for the first time since the funeral. She
didn’t see the blinking red light as she passed the answering
machine. It was a message from Nicky saying he would come over
in about an hour cos the rest of the video shoot had for some
reason been cancelled.
It only took her five minutes to get to the cemetery. She opened the
gates and slowly started making her way towards her father’s grave.
Her mother wasn’t buried there, cos she had always said how she
wanted her ashes being spread out in the ocean, so of course
Becky and her brother did just that, even though they’d rather have
her with their dad. Becky sat down in front of the tombstone and
placed the red rose, she bought on the way, on the ground. There
was no one else there, which was a relief cos that way she could
talk without being afraid of anybody hearing her.
“Errmm… Hi dad…” she started carefully, not really knowing what
to say, “it’s me, Becky. I know I haven’t been here before to visit
you and I’m really sorry about that. But it’s like if I didn’t go here I
guess I didn’t really have to believe that you were really gone, that
you might call me just like before, but now it was the right time…
Now I have to realise that you won’t come back, that you won’t give
me a call…” she softly began to cry, but wiped her tears away
straight away, she was determined to make this and after a few
seconds she continued: “How’s mum and Peter? I hope they’re fine
and peachy both of them… Dad, could you please do me a favour?
Can you tell them that I miss them and love them? Actually I’m a
bit jealous of you guys at times, cos you are all together while I’m
stuck down here… You will wait for me won’t you? When it’s my
time to go, you will be there to welcome me won’t you…?” She felt
a soft breeze from the trees and a blackbird was sitting on a
tombstone next to her singing. Becky listened to it for a while and
was so absorbed by its beautiful singing that she didn’t hear how
someone came through the gate and made his way up to her. The
person was just about to say ‘Hello’ but instead he stopped a few
yards behind her and listened as she went back to talking to her
late dad. “I’ve met this great guy, Nicky. He’s in a band. You
would’ve liked him; you two have a lot in common… I haven’t really
admitted this to myself yet, but I think I’m falling in love with him. I
hate myself for doing that, cos I know that in the long run I’ll just
end up being hurt… But I’ve had so much pain in my life, that it
sometimes feels that that a bit more won’t make a difference.” She
laughed at her own words, but it was laughter filled with sadness
and loneliness. Once again she felt tears burning behind her eyelids
and this time she didn’t stop them from falling down her face. She
couldn’t talk anymore, instead she just whispered: “I’ll be back
again soon daddy, I promise. I love you so much!” Becky got up
from where she was sitting, took a last look at her father’s
tombstone and then turned around to leave…