When you think of an older brother, you think of growing up with a guy who you look up to and whose friends you might be able to go out with. You think of a guy who teased you all the time. You think of a guy you have many memories with. Well, since I've only known my brother for the last 17 years, we've made only "new" memories.
It all began in January of 1985. It was a Sunday, like any other Sunday (so I thought) - my cousin called me and said she saw an ad in the New York Times. Someone was looking for my parents (their names were listed in the ad)...."Give them a call," she said. So I called. The woman at the other end of the phone told me that her husband, Eddie, had been adopted 53 years earlier and she told me what his parents' names were. Oddly enough, they were the same as my parents. I told her that it couldn't have been my parents because I have only two sisters and didn't have nor know of any "brother." She asked me what my sisters' names were, which I thought was an odd question. I told her (they happen to be Isabel and Freme - which are pretty unusual) and she said that she knew my oldest sister, Freme. As a matter of fact, she told me she had known my sister and brother-in-law for many years (my brother-in-law and her husband had worked together years before and they became good friends).
It was then that my life changed. Sheila (the woman on the phone) proceeded to tell me that her husband was my brother!!!! How could this be??? What is this lady saying? I began to cry....and asked her what in the world she was talking about.
Earlier in the day, Freme had answered that same ad and ended up talking to her friend Sheila. She also told Sheila that it was just a coincidence that Eddie's parents and her own parents had the same names. Freme then called my mother in Florida to tell her about the coincidence. My mother completely broke down and began to sob...."My son, my son, I have found my son." She then, for the first time in her life told Freme the story. She had become pregnant before she and my dad got married but the disgrace of it made them give the baby up for adoption. Freme then called Sheila back to tell her the "news." (That's how Sheila had already known by the time I called her.)
The phone calls back and forth were phenomenal.... The next day, my sisters (and brother) and our spouses all met for dinner and, sure enough, the adoption papers had both my parents signatures on them. Oh my, I have a real brother - a full-fledged, mom and dad real brother!!!!
That week we brought my mother up from Florida to meet her son...it was an incredible time for her. She said there wasn't a day that had gone by that she didn't think about where her son was...but she never told us until that day in January when Eddie found his family.
At the very beginning it was so hard to accept but I knew that I loved him since that first Valentine's Day (about a month after he found us) that he sent all of his sisters Valentine's Day cards to a "sister."
On May 25, 2002, my brother died of lung cancer. Everyone who knew Eddie loved him dearly. I am so privileged to have known him for the last 17 years. I did end up having a brother I admired and looked up to.........