CHAPTER 7

''What?'' Nikolas asked in shock. Luke's words echoed in his head. Lucky needed him? ''Dad.'' Nikolas swallowed. The word was still foreign to his ears. ''Lulu needs you and I need you. You need to have this transplant so that your little girl can grow up with her father.''

Luke shook his head sadly. ''Nikolas Lucky is calling out to me. He needs me and I won't fail him this time. It's my time son, It's my time.''

Nikolas sighed and pulled a stool closer. ''Lucky wouldn't ever ask that of you.'' He insisted quietly. When Luke shook his head and turned away, Nikolas decided to give him some space while he worked on the next phase of his plan.

Lucky looked up as the TV monitor went on. This was never a good sign. He had been pacing for hours. Things just seemed too easy to him. His breath caught in his throat as he realized they were filming his father's hospital bed. ''I'm not having the transplant. I'm joining Lucky. He needs me'' Lucky heard and his heart almost stopped.

''No dad you don't want to come in here. Really you don't. This is no place for you, for anyone else. Come on dad fight. You have to fight. Please fight for me.'' Lucky moaned as he sank onto his bed. ''Why do you want to come in here instead of getting me out?'' Lucky asked in anger.

When Nikolas left Luke looked around the room with new eyes. He didn't see it like a curse anymore. He saw it as his salvation. Lucky, for some reason, needed him weak to be able to come to him. After his death, he did it, but Luke was a broken man then. When he started to put his life back together, Lucky stopped his appearances. Last night, finally, he made his presence know again. But Nikolas, his other son, didn't understand how badly Luke needed to be with Lucky. But was it fair to his other children, now that he thought about it?

He was deep in his thoughts when Nikolas entered, with a determined look on his face. A look Luke didn't like. A look he hated. It was a pure ‘let's take a Spencer down' look.

''We need to talk. Nikolas said bluntly. No, rather I have questions and I want answers. I want to know why the hell you won't fight. Why the hell me being your son means nothing to you. Why the hell, when I told you, you didn't even blink.''

Luke waited a long time before he answered, choosing his words carefully. Finally, as always, his heart talked first ''I did know. That's why I saved your life, time and time again. I'm heartless. If I truly believed you were a Cassadine, you'd be dead right now''

''Well thanks a lot. '' Nikolas said furiously. ''How the hell would you have felt if that was my attitude about Lulu. She'd be dead now, that's what would have happened! And you'd be the same miserable old bitter man but you'd have no one but your alcohol and your damn blues club.''

Luke grabbed his shirt and brought his face only inches from his own. ''You listen to me boy, and you listen to me good. I don't owe nothing to the Cassadines, not even to save their sorry butts. After everything they did to me and my family, Stefan and his sick mother are lucky I let them breathe the same air I do'' I released him and turned around. ''If you came here to provoke me, you will have your fight. You tell me you are my son, and what do you expect me to say?''

''Nothing. I just wanted you to know. I don't expect anything from you because you've always hated me and always will.'' Nikolas shot back. ''You listen to me FATHER and you listen to me good. I don't want this but it happened. You decide what you want if anything from it. If you want anything you can damn well earn it.''

''Why would I want to earn it since you just admitted you don't want this?'' Luke asked, looking directly into his eyes. ''I never hated you. I hated the name you were wearing and the fact that my wife loved another man. It was never about you. I guess we'll never know what kind of relationship we could've had since you don't want to know''

''But if you thought I was yours why the hell didn't you say anything.'' The young man said through gritted teeth. ''You're so willing to hate because of a name someone wears so no I don't want a relationship with you. Not like that. I want you to look me in the eye and tell me the name I have doesn't impact the man I am. I want you to look me in the eye and tell me you'll judge me on my character and soul and not a damned name.''

''I never said I thought you were mine. I just hoped you were. Not in the way that I had doubts, but in the way that I would've loved it, I wanted it. You look me in the eyes and tell me you didn't hate the Spencers. You tell me you didn't hate me because I was the reason you didn't have your mother all those years. You see, I'm not a saint. I never claimed to be one. And if you can't accept the man I am as your father, except of the man you want me to be, I won't make you. This goes both ways Nikolas''

''Why did you hope I was yours? WHY? Why would you have loved it. TELL ME!'' Nikolas met his eyes. ''I never hated the Spencers because my mother and sister were Spencers. I didn't hate you. I hated what happened. I hated growing up on an island with just an uncle. I hated being told my mother died and mourning her when you and Lucky knew. That was what I hated father. I always envied the bond you and Lucky had. I always wanted to be a part of it.''

''You hated stuff instead of the man, just like I did you with the name you wore. People who live in glass houses shouldn't throw stones. I wanted you to be mine because even though I didn't want to admit it, not even to myself, I cared for you. When you got shot, and I thought you might died, it killed me, because, I didn't know why, but it did. Why did you want to be a part of it?''

Nikolas was getting more than he bargained for, but he still listened to what his father had to say. ''Because I tried everything in my power to get you to like me but you only showed me any caring when I was hanging off a damned mountain a or near death with a hole in my throat.''

Luke didn't realize it but he was pouring his heart out like he never did before, not even with Lucky. ''That still doesn't tell me why you envied my relationship with your brother. And you didn't show any interest, either, you know, I'm not the only one to blame''

''Because it was what I wanted dammit. You think it was fun being so remote all the time. You and Lucky had a bond and you could do things together and have fun together. I had none of that. I had my role in life and there was no fun in that.'' the young man turned away unwilling to let Luke see that he was upset. ''And you and Lucky were like best friends and you had our mother and Lulu and even a dog. I had an isolated house and workaholic uncle and a family feud that I didn't start but suffered from.'' Nikolas was ashamed to realize tears were glistening in his eyes.

''-Nikolas look at me. If you could have anything. Anything at all, from this situation, what would it be? Luke finally asked, his voice only a whisper
-Why are you asking this? Nikolas asked quietly. Do you want to crush me more?
-No, I just would like to know what my sson would want from this''

Nikolas' breath caught in his chest when Luke called him his son and he blinked a couple of times. ''I want a bond and a father.'' he said softly getting up and starting to leave. He couldn't let him see how effected he was by all this. ''Already acting like a true Spencer. Running instead of dealings with his feelings'' Luke shot from behind him

''What the hell do you know about my feelings FATHER?'' Nikolas asked, getting mad. ''I know that you don't want to get your hopes up. That's why you want to leave. So I won't know how much you want this to work'' Luke said softly. ''I want that too Nikolas. But I'm not running'' Nikolas had a sarcastic smile. ''Is that why you are in a hospital saying you want to die'' Nikolas replied quickly. ''How are we gonna get through this?'' Luke asked suddenly tired. ''get through this? what are you talking about old man?'' Nikolas asked boldly. ''I'm your son. I'm a hated Cassadine You hate me and you want to die. What getting through this is there to work out?'' Luke sighed and said. ''This attitude of yours. Get through that. You keep saying you are my son and yet you act like you don't want to be''. Nikolas took his time before he answered. ''Why would I want to be? So I can get abused and hurt more close up? So I will cry when you die?'' ''I never abused you son. Never. And I never hurt you either. Not in the way you mean. So cut the crap. Either you want this to work or you don't. if you don't, there's the door. I won't beg'' This was getting tiring for Luke.

Nikolas' purpose was to get Luke to want to live again, but this might be pushing him, but yet, Nikolas couldn't stop himself. Years of rejection and pain was shooting through him. ''You don't think it hurts for someone to say they want you dead over a feud you never started. All I came to town to do was save your daughter's life. And you hated me on sight.''. ''I never said I wanted you dead. If I wanted you dead you wouldn't be standing here. And I never hated you. Do we have to go over that again?'' Luke asked with a sigh. ''Then why didn't you treat me like your wife's other son rather than a disease you and Lucky might catch?'' The young man asked in a shaky voice. ''Because I didn't want to get myself to care about you.'' Luke said. ''No'' he rectified. ''Because I didn't want to admit to myself I cared about you''

''-Funny way you have of caring. Nikolas muttered
-Didn't you hear a word I said? I didn'tt want to. Luke spoke softly. If you don't want me, if you want this to remain a secret, I will keep it, and there's the door, but if you do want this, you'll have to accept the errors of our past
-And then what? Nikolas asked
-And then what what? You walk out, I donn't talk about anyone what happened here, not even to Laura, and you go on with your life
-What if I want the other?
-Make up your mind boy, I'm too old for this. Luke said softly, feeling really old all of a sudden. You say you want what lucky and I have, and then you say you'll leave
-Because I don't think I have a chance oof ever having that.
-Why not? Luke asked, feeling a all too well known feeling in his chest. The feeling of his heart breaking
-Because I'm Nikolas and not Lucky. And he's gone and I'm still alive
-I would never ask you to replace Lucky.. But I would be willing to try and have a relationship with my oldest son
-So what do we do to get there?
-We stop living in the past and get to kknow each other
-But how? Nikolas asked slowly and lookeed at him. How do we do that?
-Well, first of all, what are you doing tonight?
-Arguing with you. Why?
-Because you have a damn thing to sign. Don't you go waving that matching organ paper in front of me only to tease me. Luke said with a smile''

''Faison'' Helena yelled and Cesar sighed. What did she want again? He walked in her room and looked at her with a profound disgust. He hated everyone more powerful than he was, and she was. Way more powerful. ''What?'' He asked, annoyed. ''I want you to release young Master Spencer tonight'' She said firmly. ''What? Why?'' Asked Faison, confused. ''Because a game of cat and mouse isn't a game when the mouse give up and crawl in its hole'' Helena answered.