Chapter 11b:  Origins

"What?" Tessa asked quietly.  She was positive that she'd somehow heard him wrong.

The pseudo-priest looked her in the eyes. "That baby I found on the church's doorstep--it was you."

Tessa shook her head. "No...that can't be...it's impossible..."

"Tessa..."

"No!" she exclaimed.  She resumed pacing around the fire, shaking her head vigorously in adamant denial.  "You're wrong!  I know where I came from."

He sat down on a boulder. "Oh my...didn't Duncan tell you?  We're foundlings...all of us.  Immortals, I mean."

"That can't be right... I was born at the Alvarado hacienda to Don Rafael and Doņa Pilar, not found on some doorstep!"

"It's the truth.  I...Tessa!"  He suddenly got up and grabbed her shoulders, putting a stop to her frantic pace and forcing her to look at him.  "Listen to me..."

"NO!"  Tessa shoved the padre away from her and ran out of the cave.  The logical part of her brain told her it was a stupid move, considering that she was, at the moment, a fugitive, but she just couldn't bring herself to care.  She just kept on running, only stopping when she came to a large tree, which she'd only noticed because she'd nearly run into it.  Through the emotional haze, she realized that the tree would be a good hiding place and quickly climbed up into its branches, settling herself on one of the lower ones that was large enough to support her weight.  Leaning back against the trunk, she drew her knees up to her chest and allowed the tears that had been building up to finally fall.  What's going on, Papa?  Is that why I was always so different from everyone else in the family--because I was adopted?  Why couldn't you have just told me?  Would the truth have really been so bad?  I mean, would it have really changed any-- The presence of another immortal washed over Tessa, interrupting her train of thought.  She glanced down to see the padre standing at the foot of the tree, his robe having been replaced by clothes like Helm would wear, right down to the rolled-up sleeves.

"You do realize that Perez and his men are probably still searching the area for you, right?"

"So?" she sniffed, using her remaining sleeve to dry her eyes.  "Perez was never a match for me even before I started training with MacLeod.  Only reason I got arrested was because I had all my attention on Montoya.  Besides, I doubt any of them are smart enough to check the trees."

"You may have a point there, Tessa.  Mind if I join you?"

"Do I have a choice?"

"Not really." Before she had a chance to respond, he'd already climbed the tree and settled on the branch next to hers.

"So...what happened to your robe, padre?"

"It kinda caught fire when you shoved me."

"Oh.  Sorry about that."

"It's ok, really.  I've got plenty more where that came from.  At any rate, I'm the one who should be sorry.  I shouldn't have sprung that on you like that.  It's just...well...I just assumed MacLeod had already told you that you were adopted."

She snorted.  "MacLeod?  My white knight in shining bloody armor?  Please...he probably thought the truth would hurt my 'oh-so-delicate' feelings."

"Has it?"

She glanced over at her tree sharing companion.  "A little."  She sighed.  "But you know what hurts even more?  Knowing that the people I thought were my family--the ones I loved and trusted the most--felt the need to lie to me my whole life about where I came from."

"You can't blame your whole family, Tessa.  Only three people knew the truth--myself, the local midwife, and your father."

"So Papa was lying to everyone?  Gee, that makes me feel a whole lot better..."

"I'm sure he was just trying to protect you."

"From what, exactly?"

"Come on, Tessa.  You know how the nobility thinks.  If they had even the slightest inkling that you weren't Don Rafael's real child..."

"...then I might've ended up as a servant instead of a doņa.  I realize that.  But he could've at least been honest with me.  It's not like I would've told anyone."

"He must've had his reasons."

"Yeah--I was a girl.  A vapid, delicate little china doll of a girl.  Not like he spent enough time with me to know any different.  Just out of curiosity, how did I end up with the Alvarados if you were the one that found me?"

"Well, as I was trying to tell you before you ran off, finding you had given me a reason to stay in Santa Elena.  I knew that, one way or another, I had to be there to make sure that you had proper help when and if the time came.  But at the same time, I knew I couldn't keep you.  I may be several thousand years old, but I've generally avoided getting too deeply involved with children.  Hard enough watching mortal friends grow old and die around me--couldn't stand the thought of watching that happen to a child I'd raised.  Anyway, as soon as I got you inside, I asked another priest to take over confession and sent for the local midwife.  She came in, checked you out to make sure you were healthy and saw to it that you were properly fed and all, while I racked my brain trying to figure out just what to do with you."

"So what happened?"

"Midwife got called away sometime early in the evening.  Apparently, one of the local doņas had gone into labor and was having some difficulty.  So I sat with you in the rectory, still trying to figure out what to do.  Several hours later, a messenger came in with a note from the midwife, asking me to come to the hacienda she was at and to bring you with me."

"The Alvarado hacienda?" Tessa had a bad feeling about where this was going.

"Yes.  As soon as I got the message, I bundled you up and made the long ride out there.  When I arrived, I was told that Doņa Pilar's child had died shortly after being delivered.  The seņora hadn't been told yet, which is where I came in.  See, the midwife had told Don Rafael about the child I'd found and had suggested that he take you in rather than inform his wife that her own child was lost."

"And I'm assuming he agreed."

"He did.  Seņora Alvarado's pregnancy had left her quite weak, and your father feared that the grief from losing her baby would finish her.  So I gave you over to him, and secretly buried the lost child in the same place I'd laid the real Padre Quintana.  The Alvarados were blessed with a beautiful daughter, and no one ever knew what really happened that night, save for the three of us."

"Oh...just out of curiosity, what did they really have?  Who did I replace?"

"A son.  Diego Conseco Alvarado.  Named..."

"...after both grandfathers.  And what a coincidence--almost the same exact name I'd chosen for myself when I began taking fencing lessons from Seņor Torres.  God, how I hate irony.  Excuse me..."  Tessa slid off the branch she'd been sitting on and dropped back down to the ground.  As soon as her feet touched, she turned around and struck the trunk with her fist, the physical pain a welcome alternative to the emotional.  Once that had subsided, courtesy of her body's accelerated healing, she struck out again...and again.  A son.  THUD! They had a son. THWAK!  No wonder... BAM!  Papa... WHAK!  always seemed...  POW!  so disappointed... WHAM! with me...  She continued pounding on the bark until her knuckles were raw and bloody and, finally, a pair of strong arms encircled her chest and gently drew her away.  Quickly, she twisted around and started pounding on the interloper's chest.  But her blows soon tapered off, dissolving into a cascade of hot tears.  Quintana, for his part, merely held her while she let everything out.

"It'll be alright, Tessa." He whispered into her ear once her tears had begun to wane.  "Believe me, I know exactly how you--"  Before he could finish, she pushed herself out of his arms and, turning away from him, leaned against the tree trunk with her arms folded across her chest.

"Don't patronize me, padre.  I get enough of that from MacLeod."  Gently, he placed a hand on her shoulder, turning her so she was facing him again.

"I promise you, I'm not.  And by the way, the name's Alex."

"Alex?"

"Not the name my so-called parents decided on--that one I don't think you could even pronounce--but it's the first one that ever meant anything to me.  So if you would..."

"Of course...Alex," she said, cracking a small smile.  "And what did you mean by 'so-called parents' anyway?"

"Like I said, I know exactly how you feel."

"Yours weren't around much either, I take it?"

"Worse.  They were around often enough, but certainly didn't treat me like I was their son.  'Course, I wasn't exactly the child they were hoping for."

"Why not?  Not to sound insensitive here, but you're male.  Shouldn't that have been enough?"

"You'd think so, wouldn't you?  But no, not where I grew up.  I was raised in Sparta, see, and there, physical strength was valued above all else.  And I was a rather sickly child.  Any other Spartan parents would've left me in the mountains to die, but not mine.  They just treated me like a helot--a slave--instead of like their own flesh and blood."

"That's awful...but surely it was better than being dead."

"Perhaps, but more often than not, I found myself wishing that they had just done things the way they were supposed to...thinking I'd be better off dead.  But the way they treated me as a kid was nothing compared to what they did when I was fifteen."

"Why?  What happened?"

"Well, while 'father' was away in Troy, chasing after the unfaithful Queen Helen, a group of raiders entered the city.  All the men were at war, so it was left to the women to keep it safe.  Now, Spartan women were generally educated almost as well as the men, so the situation wasn't that dire.  They all put their heads together, and decided to bribe the raiders with slaves and provisions in exchange for the city being left alone.  The plan worked, since those raiders were smart enough to realize that pissing off the greatest army in the known world would be hazardous to their health.  And guess who was part of the bribe package?"

"Oh my God...your own mother did that to you?"

"Yes.  Those raiders...they were the ones responsible for making me immortal...only three years later, no less.  And being stuck in an eighteen-year-old body for eternity isn't as fun as you might think."

Tessa stared at him, a little confused.  "You don't look eighteen.  I mean, your eyes...your face...I would've guessed at least twenty."

"Well, they say eyes are the windows to the soul...and mine had to grow up long before its time, my circumstances being what they were.  Add a few thousand years worth of experience to that, and...I'm sure you understand where this is going."  She nodded.  "As for the way my face looks...my masters...they weren't exactly gentle.  And all those years of rough treatment at their hands...I suppose I should be thankful, in a way.  In all the time I've lived as an immortal, not one person has looked at me and thought I was anything other than an adult.   It hasn't been so bad, I guess, all things considered...but it still doesn't erase the memories of what happened."

"So...I guess it was a relief to find out that you were adopted."

"Not so much.  I mean, sure, it was nice to know I wasn't related to those bastards...but it still begged the question of why they adopted me in the first place.  And the only answer I could think of...well, it gives a whole new meaning to the phrase 'ignorance is bliss.'  But, that's all in the past.  The point, Tessa, is that I became the man I am today in spite of them.  See, the beauty of being immortal, is that we ultimately get to decide just who we are.  The only expectations you'll ever have to live up to are your own--a luxury that most mortals don't have."

"I suppose...but it doesn't change the fact that I spent my whole mortal life in the shadow of the son Papa had and lost."

"Tessa, how could you live in the shadow of someone who was barely around long enough to cast one?"

"It's just...I never felt like I was good enough...like being a girl somehow made me inadequate.  That's why I took up fencing...in the hope that someday, I might be able to prove to Papa that I was good enough, in spite of being a girl.  You know, the day I got the letter, saying he'd been killed, I was planning to tell him.  I thought for sure that visit would be the one where he'd finally bring me back to California.  And since I would've had to end the fencing lessons if that did happen, I didn't see the harm in telling him once we were on our way.  Might've even given him a demonstration.  I thought...I hoped that he might actually be proud of me...that he'd stop looking at me like a china doll and start seeing me as a worthy heir to his legacy.  God, how could I have been so foolish?"

"It's hardly foolish to want your father's approval, Tessa.  But you don't need it, not anymore. Besides Tessa, I knew your father.  I imagine he would have been very proud of both Tessa and the Queen of Swords."

"I know...but part of me still feels like I do.  Honestly, I'm not sure I'll ever be okay with all of this...but I think I can live with it."

"That's good.  Well, sun's going down.  What do you say we grab the horses and get out of here?"

"And go where exactly?"

"To my home, of course.  Don't worry, it's holy ground.  You'll be perfectly safe."

"Holy ground?  Holy to who, exactly?"

"The Chumash."

"Was this before, or after you moved in?"

"After, but that's a story for another time.  Now let's go."  Wordlessly, the pair slipped back into the cave to reclaim their mounts, and then rode out of the canyon the way they'd come in, before heading southeast, the setting sun at their backs.

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