Chapter 5:  Regrets and Misery...

Upon reaching the top, the first thing Tessa noticed was a sort of makeshift stable against the side of the building.  And, from the looks of things, it was a recent addition--a VERY recent addition.  That lying bastard!  He's been here before.  Of all the nerve...letting me think he was gonna get us lost...why I oughta...  As she contemplated all the ways she could get back at MacLeod without doing any permanent damage, a familiar whinny sounded from inside one of the stalls.

"Chico?"

All thoughts of getting even with MacLeod disappeared as she leapt from the saddle and sprinted in the direction of the sound.  Sure enough, Chico was there.  He was lying on his side, a white bandage clearly visible against his bay coat.  It was wrapped around his chest, unblemished except for the spot of blood where the bullet had hit its mark.  Tessa dropped to her knees, wrapping her arms around his neck and gently stroking his soft mane.  Chico responded by nuzzling his head further into the crook of her neck.

"You're alive..."  Once again, she could feel tears starting to well up.  It was all so...overwhelming.  Death...immortality...the Game...and now, it turns out that Chico had somehow survived the ambush.  That did it.  The dam finally burst.  Tessa buried her face in Chico's neck and finally let out everything she'd tried so hard to hold back in front of MacLeod.

"I see you two know each other."  Damn.  Could Duncan's timing be any worse?  And she'd been so caught up in her own issues that the warning buzz hadn't even registered.  She lifted her head and quickly wiped the tears away with her sleeve, keeping her focus on Chico in hopes that MacLeod wouldn't catch on.

"I thought he was dead."

"He very nearly was.  I found him on my way into town, as I was passing through--what was it called?--La Luna Canyon.  He was badly wounded, but alive.  Honestly, I was afraid that I would have to put him down.  But then that friend I mentioned came along, looking for me.  That's when he filled me in on everything.  He handed me the sword that was still attached to the saddle and told me to go and see to you while he took care of the horse. I'm guessing he's the one who set all this up."

Tessa, however, hadn't really heard anything beyond MacLeod's initial statement.  He very nearly was...The words kept repeating themselves in her head as her fingers trailed down the white bandage to the spot where Chico had been wounded.  Duncan was right...it had been a close call.  It was truly a miracle that he'd held on long enough for someone to come along and help him.  And the worst part was,Chico's brush with death had been her fault.  A trap had been laid for her, and she'd walked right into it, all because she'd been too...stubborn...to listen to Marta's warnings...

*****************

Marta stood by Tessa's bed holding onto the red sash.

"You're not going."

"Marta, I thought we'd already discussed this.  If I don't get that gold, the Santiagos will lose their farm.  I can't let that happen."

"Then give them some of your own.  As successful as the vineyard has been this year, you'd hardly notice the loss."

Tessa snatched the sash from Marta's hands and wrapped it around her waist.

"That's beside the point.  This is probably the biggest shipment Montoya's ever sent to Monterrey, and from what I hear, some of that money is to be used toward the purchase of a cannon."

"So you're going to go and get yourself killed over a few rumors?"

The almost Queen put on her sword belt and slipped the rapier into the ring.

"I can't take the risk, Marta.  If Montoya gets his cannon...Besides, what makes you so sure that it's going to happen today?"

"I saw it.  Tessa, if you go after that shipment today, you will die."

"Then I'll die.  Fate is fate, remember?"

"That doesn't mean you have to go tempting it.  Stay here, and we'll worry about the cannon when Montoya gets it...if he does at all."

"No."

Tessa reached for the lace mask on the bureau, only to have Marta grab it away before she could reach it and ball it up.

"Dammit, Tessa!  I mean it!  You are NOT leaving this house today!"

"Stop treating me like a child!"

"Then stop acting like one!"

"This is pointless.  We both know that when my time comes there won't be anything either of us can do to change it..."

"Fine!  If that's the way you feel, then I may as well wash my hands of this whole mess.  From now on, you are on your own."  Marta threw the ball at Tessa as she stormed out of the bedroom and into her own, slamming the door behind her.

"Fine by me!  I don't need your help anyway!"

Fuming, Tessa scooped her crumpled mask up off the floor and started out for the stables.  As she passed Marta's door, she could hear soft crying from within.  For a moment, she hesitated, her resolve fading.  But it returned just as quickly as it had left.  Tessa tied the mask on and continued outside to the stables.  She pulled Chico's tack out of its hiding place, put it on him, and mounted up.  However, when she tried to urge him forward, he wouldn't budge.  Maybe he'd sensed her mood.  Perhaps he was just being difficult.  She didn't know.  But whatever the reason, it took her several tries to finally get him moving.

Chico behaved for most of the ride, but as they neared the main road he started acting up again.

"Whoa...what is wrong with you to--" A bullet tore through her shirtsleeve, just barely missing her arm.  More soon followed.  Lucky for her, the soldiers' shooting skills hadn't improved much.  Tessa urged Chico into a full gallop, trying to put as much distance between her and them as possible.  As soon as they were clear of the road, she turned the horse in the direction of La Luna Canyon, intent on hiding in the ruins until the soldiers gave up the chase.  Upon reaching the canyon, Tessa slowed her mount to a trot, confident that she'd managed to lose her pursuers.

BANG!!

A shot rang out and Chico reared, tossing her from the saddle.  She landed hard, taking much of the impact on her right shoulder.  Nothing was broken, fortunately, but it still hurt like hell.  After a moment, Tessa sat up, the movement sending new waves of pain through her injured limb.  Cradling the arm to her side, she climbed to her knees, scanning the area for her horse.  What she saw broke her heart.  Just a few feet away from her lay the eerily still form of Chico, blood seeping out from under the saddle.

"Oh no..."  Tessa crawled to his side, gently laying a hand on his neck.  Nothing.  He didn't make a single sound or even the slightest movement in response to her touch.  "Chico..."

"I wouldn't be worrying about him right now..."  Damn.  Grisham.  She tried to pull her sword from the saddle, but found she couldn't grip it properly.  Plan B.  Tessa reached down and started to draw the gauche from her boot, only to be interrupted by the cold steel of a gun barrel against her neck.  "...seems to me you've got bigger problems.  Now, why don't you be a good girl and hand over the dagger."  Glancing around, Tessa could see at least a dozen soldiers surrounding them, all with rifles aimed at her head.  And at that range, not even the worst marksman among them could possibly miss.  Resignedly, she did as Grisham ordered.  As soon as the gauche was in the captain's hand, the gun was pulled away from her neck and she was hauled roughly to her feet, a soldier gripping either arm.  "I must say, this is a nice change.  If I'd have known that I could capture you just by shooting your horse..."

"Bastard!"  She lunged for him, but the soldiers held fast and the movement only served to cause her right shoulder more pain.  Grisham merely laughed and walked away, motioning for them to follow.  Tessa was dragged over to where his horse was waiting within the ruins.  The soldiers released their grip on her arms, but the sound of guns being readied at her back was enough to persuade her that this wasn't the opportune moment to try and escape.  Grisham took his lasso down from the saddle and tied one end of it to the saddle horn before returning his attention to her.

"Bring your hands together in front of you and keep 'em there.  Any funny stuff and my men get trigger happy.  Understood?"

Nodding, Tessa did as she was told, willing her hands not to shake.  Grisham quickly bound them together with the other end of his lasso.  Not tight enough to cut off her circulation, yet there wasn't nearly enough give for her to possibly wriggle free.  Once he'd satisfied himself that she was secure, he mounted up and rode back out to where the rest of the men were waiting, pulling Tessa along with him.  When he finally came to a stop in front of the troops, she dropped down to her knees, grateful for the momentary respite.  As Grisham shouted instructions to the soldiers, Tessa started looking around, her gaze soon coming to rest on what remained of her horse.  Oh Chico...what have I done?  I should've listened to Marta.  Maybe if I had, we wouldn't be in this mess...maybe you wouldn't have ...Tears threatened to fall, but she pushed them back, not wanting to give Grisham the satisfaction.  The rope jerked and Tessa had to stumble to her feet, else she be dragged back to town.  As she struggled to keep pace, her eyes remained locked on Chico's still form until she could see him no more.

*********************

Tessa felt something nuzzling her neck, and suddenly she was back in the crude stable with MacLeod and a very-much-alive Chico.  Her hand traveled back up to his neck and started stroking his mane once more.  What the hell was that all about?

"You okay, Tessa?"

She turned her head towards Duncan, who was yet again giving her that concerned look of his.  "I'm fine, Duncan.  Sorry about drifting off like that.  I was just..."

"Remembering?"

"How'd you know?"

"Comes with the territory.  See, our quickenings don't just heal our bodies.  They also give us long, really vivid memories.  So drifting off into one of them is hardly an unusual occurrence."

"Wonderful..."

"Do you want to talk about it?"

"Not particularly.  In fact, I'd prefer to be alone for awhile, if you don't mind."

"Not at all."  He stood up, brushing the hay off his pants.  "Take as long as you want.  If you need anything, I'll be inside."  With that, MacLeod walked out of the stable and headed into what remained of the old mission, leaving Tessa alone with her horse.  At first she just sat there in silence, continuing to stroke Chico's neck as she thought.  But, after awhile, the silence became rather deafening.

"Dios, how did everything get so messed up Chico?  The things I said to Marta...that we said to each other...and there's no way that either of us can ever take any of it back.  She thinks I'm dead, and according to MacLeod I can't ever go find her to let her know I'm alright.  Now Marta will spend the rest of her life with the memory of those harsh words as the last that ever passed between us, while I spend my eternity wishing that I'd just listened to her and stayed home.  Maybe if I had, we'd both be at home enjoying ourselves instead of hiding in some half-destroyed mission out in the middle of nowhere.  Could I really have been that stupid?"

Chico snorted.

"Gee, thanks...I love you too."  He nuzzled his head onto her lap, trying to apologize.  Smiling, Tessa leaned forward and kissed him between the eyes.  "It's okay boy, you were just being honest.  I can't tell you how sorry I am that I got us into this mess, and I wish there was some way to get us back out of it.  Unfortunately, we can't just turn back time, so we're stuck here.  So, how about this MacLeod?  Think I should give this whole 'student' thing a shot?"  Chico whinnied and gave her his own little horse-nod.  "Yeah, I agree.  Might as well make the best of things, right?  Besides, Duncan seems like a decent enough guy."  A yawn escaped, and Tessa noticed that the sky was already beginning to darken.  She gently removed Chico's head from her lap and stretched out in the hay.  Being careful of the wound, she used his neck as a pillow as she stared up at the stars.  "Who knows...maybe I'll even come to like him.  Sure, I find him attractive.  I mean, who wouldn't?  But I hardly know the guy.  Still, he did say that I have all the time in the world now, so...anything's possible..."  Her monologue trailed off into incoherent murmurs, and she soon found herself in Morpheus' arms once more.

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