I: O' my god Pox, I can't believe what we just heard! The newest Cruiserweight sensation in the wrestling world today, Tsunami, has joined RPW!
Pox: This is certainly some big news, and will go a long way in helping the RPW establishing itself as a top federation Imp.
I: Hopefully, maybe then we could getta raise and some chairs that aren't spilling out their insides.
Pox: What an imagination you have Imp. Anyways, it appears that tomorrow night on Momentum, the # 1 contender for the RPW Cruiserweight belt will be decided in a modified TLC match. The only way to win it is to jump off the ladder in the ring, and out on to your opponent who has to be lying on the table outside the ring.
Imp: This sounds like some risky business Pos. Ya think we could get Tom Cruise to announce with us.
Pox: Shut your retarded mouth Imp. So come tomorrow night, we'll see the battle that errupts between the 2 challengers for the title. Tsunami VS. a "Dark Horse." It may just be me Imp, but it would seem that the new GM in charge is intent on getting rid of Tsunami as fast as he came to us.
Imp: Don't go spouting none of those conspiracies Pox, I don't want our chair privaleges taken away again.
Pox: Well, that's all folks, Goodnight!
Just before Momentum's main event tonight, the cameras caught a conversation held between the GM and James Revarkk.
GM: James, you seem to think that just because you're a 2900th generation superstar, that you don't have to do anything around here. I've gotten reports that you havn't dressed out for the last 7 weeks, and that you havn't even shown up for the last 3. That's why this Tuesday on Manifestation I'm putting you in a Hell Frozen over match, (hell in a cell). Your opponent is going to be Nylon Water, former heavy weight champion over at HCW. The deal is, whoever wins, gets to keep their job, and will be made the World Heavyweight Champion. So, you've got a choice to make James, either keep your lavish lifestyle and win the match, or say bye bye to the RPW and wrestling in general. And don't think if you win that belt you won't have to defend it, as that's one of the reasons I'm throwing it in there. I've written up a clause that states the World Cahmp must be ready to defend his title at all times. Have a nice evening Mr. Revarkk, I look forward to seeing how you'll fare on Tuesday night.
The camera comes back to the announcers table.
Imp: I can't believe what my ears just heard Pox. Two title shots this Tuesday on Manifestation! Talk about a must see experience. Hunny, hold the abortion till thursday, I'm sorry but I've gotta be here for this!
Pox: A man of great charm Imp, you truly are. Well, up next we get to see who will headline Manifestation with James Revarkk in the Modified TLC match for the Cruiserweight #1 Contendership.
I: Wow, talk about a great matchup we just witnessed between Tsunami and Kazazz! I could have sworn that they were competing for the Hardcore Championship the way they were fighting in there Pox.
Pox: I have a feeling that this match would have been a lot cleaner if the GM had gone with the traditional types of matches. What game is this guy playing, why did he put Tsunami and Kazazz through such a brutal beatdown?
I: He just wanted to see if Tsunami was ready to hold such a prestigious belt in his hands, what don't you understand about that Pox?
Pox: He could have seen a lot more talent in a normal match. Using barbed wire and a chair doesn't make you a wrestler any more than a paper shredder makes CEO.
I: Listen Pox, who the fuck gives a shit? The match is said and done with, and is something the fans will remember for a long time to come. You may have not liked it, but personally, I love a bloodbath.
Pox: You're a sick and twisted individual Imp. Those are human beings lives we're talking about here. Well, that's all for tonight, and thank you for joining us ringside at Momentum.
As you all now know, Tuesday at Manifestation, there will be a match involving Tsunami for the Cruiserweight Championship. What you don't know, is who his challenger will be for that title. I have decided to add none other than Shaku Nonu to challenge him for the belt, in a Tower Cage Match (3 cages stacked ontop of eachother, with a hole in each corner to climb through to the next cell. As you all know, the only way to win this type of match, is to climb out of the cell. What you don't know, is that I have taken it upon myself to modify it for the max amount of entertainment. Therefore, ontop of the third and final cell, will be a ladder. In order to win this match, you must climb the ladder and pluck the belt from the ceiling, and then successfully bring it back down to the floor with you. I sincerely wish the two of you the best of luck, and plese, don't fall down. The janitors charge enough for overtime as it is, I can only imagine how much they'd charge if they had to clean the two of you off the floor.
I'm sure by now everyone's wondering why there was no show last night. Well, there's a few reasons, A) The poor trash that resides here in Indiana couldn't scrounge up 25 bucks to go and buy a ticket to Manifestation, so we just decided to hold off a night and hold all the matches at our sold out event in Chicago, Illinois! B) Due to the, what I've been told, "extreme" conditions of the number one contendership match-up, Tsunami was unable to wrestle on Tuesday. So all in all, fuck all of you in Indiana, and learn to clean out your pussy before a match Tsunami! To the paying customers in Chicago, Momentum will be magnificent, hope you enjoy, as I will your money.
Pox: What a wild bunch of matches we had here tonight Imp.
I: You said it Pox, a Hell Frozen over for the World Title, A Triple Cage Ladder Match for the Cruiserweight Title, and a Tornado Tag for the RPW #1 Contendership, wow it was a hell of a ride!
Pox: That match for the World title sent chills down my spine. I could actually hear the stairs trying to break through Nylon's skull, as Revarkk repeatedly pounded them together. Simply disturbing what people will do when gold is on the line.
I: Speaking of disturbing, you see that Nonu Bomb off the Tower? Jesus Christ, how did they manage to compete in the Tornado match I have no idea.
Pox: It's like eatting soup, only to find out you've got another bowl coming.
I: Hey I got an idea, how about you keep your down on the farm sayings to yourself.
Pox: O' keep yourself quiet Imp, yah retard. I'm really interested to see what will happen next week on Manifestation between Nonu and Rocko. I've heard from numerous sources that Nonu's madder than hell at losing that Tornado match and blames it all on his manager.
I: Good luck finding a translator for that one. I have the distinct feeling we'll never really know how Nonu feels about this as long as Rocko's the only one who knows what the hell he's yelling about. Either way, what kinda idiot stands in the way of a boomer rang?
Pox: Even if this was a bad night for manager/wrestler relationships, you've gotta give it up to Sorrel for making Tsunami tap. That man will be the next RPW Champ, I can feel it in my jaw Imp.
I: That was nothing, Nonu did all the softening up for Sorrel. He's just lucky the GM cancelled the show in Indiana or the story woulda been a lot different, trust me on that.
Pox: I wonder if Revarkk will have something to do in determing that match-up for the belt at the PPV. Nonu and him seemed to have sparked a bit of a rivalry here tonight.
I: Yah, things are looking bad for the Crusiserweight champs on both fronts. On one hand, his manager screws him, on the other, the World Champ engraves his title in his face, before you know it, we may just see Rocko coming to the ring with Revarkk.
Pox: That wouldn't be necessary, Revarkk can speak English just fine.
I: Sure, but can he throw a boomer rang?
Pox: After what we witnessed tonight, I'd say it's safe to say that no one in the RPW should attempt to use a boomer rang.
I: You're just saying that cuz you hate Australians Pox! Well, that's all for now, good night, and thanks for joining us, on this event filled Momentum! See you Tuesday!
Pox: (Going off the air comment) Provided the GM doesn't cancel it.
Imp: What a great night Pox, we just saw the two main events ruined by interference! I love that shit!
Pox: And what about the wrestlers in those matches, do you think they loved having someone run in there and beat the snot outta them?
Imp: I'm sure the guy who wasn't getting the snot beat outta him thoroughly enjoyed it.
Pox: I hope you realize how dumb you sound right now. Getting back to the matches, I'd say Sorrel was screwed by a battered Shaku, and Shaku was screwed by a Revarkk in tip top shape. Both of those matches could have gone the other way, especially Sorrel's, he had Tsunami beat and ready to tap out, when Shaku delivers a hellashish leg drop straight on Sorrel's head. Needless to say, I doubt any Sorrel fan out there will be celebrating tonight.
Imp: So they would have celevrated when Tsunami made him tap out without the help of Shaku?
Pox: O' fuck off Imp!
Imp: what, I'm just saying, Tsunami's an A-Class wrestler, very capable of making Sorrel, or anyone in this business tap.
Pox: The point is, Sorrel had the victory all tied up, ready to go.
Imp: I think Tsunami could've broken free without Shaku's leg drop. He's a cruiserweight!
Pox: Thanks for pointing out that most misunderstood fact ever Imp.
Imp: So what's gonna happen between Rocko and Nonu now?
Pox: I don't know, maybe this will settle the feud between mentor and student and we'll see them back as a functioning team.
Imp: Yah, that or we get to see a lot more Nonu Bombs every time Rock'o's near the ring.
Pox: That could be true. Well, from one idiot to another, good night folks!
(Off the air comments) Imp: Do you think Tsunami's gonna be the next World Champ Pox?
Pox: Why would you think that?
Imp: Do I have to say it again, he's a Cruiserweight!
Pox: O dear lord I'm hosting with a complete moron!
Imp: You mean the color?
Pox: that's maroon you moron.
Shaku Nonu walks to the ring demanding that he be placed in a triple threat match with Sorrel and Revarkk. Sorrel's music sounds and he comes running out to the ring, fans going crazy in the audience. Sorrel slides and and he and Nonu begin exchanging blows. Sorrel gets a good couple of punches in, throws Nonu to the ropes and double arm suplexes him. Sorrel applys the Six Leaf Clover, and Nonu yelps in pain, slamming his fist on the mat, begging Sorrel to release the hold. A good minute goes by, and you can tell by the added screaming coming from both Nonu and Sorrel that the hold is gaining some serious pressure.
All of a sudden Rocko comes running from the ramp, dives in the ring, and smacks Sorrel with a boomerang on his jaw. Rocko snags in his finisher and helps Nonu to his feet. The two stare at eachother for awhile, and then burst out laughing. They go to town stomping on Sorrel, and then Nonu sets him up for the Nunu Bomb, while Rocko announces over the mic that Shaku has learned his lesson well, and they are once again a force to be reckoned with. He tosses the mic aside as soon as Sorrels back is driven into the mat from the ropes.
Later on that night, Revarkk appears on the screen, being fanned by a dozen woman and wearing a t-shirt saying aged to perfection, an obvious reference to his 2900th generation stardom. He tells Shaku that he's looking forward to the triple threat match, and that his bitch (Rocko) can set up stipulation for it that he can pronounce correctly. The screen goes blank as Revarkk asks one of the girls if she wants to be a part of #2901.
Just as RPW is going off the air, news of a locker room brawl breaks out. Upon entering the room, we see a masked man knocking over the lockers onto the back of an unconcious Sorrel swimming in blood. As soon as the mystery assassin sees the cameras, he makes a run for it. As the broadcast ends, several EMT's are attempting to life the lockers off of Sorrel's body.
I: Talk about another crazy night for Sorrel.
Pox: It was a sad tale indeed, as those lockers were put to harm's use, perhaps crushing Sorrel's entire body.
I: It was an obvious accident. I didn't see anyone there.
P: You didn't see that masked guy running away?
I: Stop making shit up Pox.
P: Nevertheless, Sorrel may not be capable of competing in this Triple Threat Match we have coming up Tuesday.
I: He would of been if he was a bit more careful when opening up his locker.
P: By god you're an idiot.
I: Good night people! ?
I: Talk about a main event. Three of the biggest stars RPW has, all colliding in the squared circle just for the hell of it.
P: I think it goes a little deeper than that Imp.
I: Some people say Tomato, others say Ketchup.
P: So anyways, shame it didn't turn out good.
I: What the hell are you talking about, that match was excellent.
P: I agree, the match was excellent... until we had Tsunami interfere, and then Rocko interfere right after that.
I: Happens all of the time, wrestlers should be prepared for things like that everytime they set foot in a match.
P: For once, I'd like to see a straight up match around here!
I: Either way, I don't see how it affected the outcome.
P: Are you mad Imp, Revarkk had that match all tied up in a golden blanket.
I: A golden blanket? And you say I'm mad?
P: He was cheated outta a win that was rightfully his.
I: So what, do you think he cares? He didn't even grab the belt when he won it 3 weeks ago, after his match. And it has yet to leave his locker room.
P: All that aside, I'm sure Rocko having a good laugh about how he screwed over another superstar.
I: Yah, I'd say that makes about all of them now.
P: That man should be banned from ever entering an arena again, I'm just infuriated with this whole thing.
I: Face the facts, Nonu won because him and Rocko were able to outplay the others. They knew that they could lure Revarkk away from the arena and into the outside, while Nonu had his way with Sorrel back inside. That's just simple inteligence. ( Revarkk comes down to the announcers booth, and tosses a bloodied Rocko on the floor.)
R: Look at the genius now! ( After saying that, Revarkk #2900's Imp through the announcers table, while Pox runs away.)
Revarkk sticks the cruiserweight title in his pants, and leaves the arena, spitting on Rocko on the way out.
The show starts with Gnome and Revarkk standing in the ring.
R: Welcome to a new era people, an era run not by the execs and the writers in the back, but one written by brute force. Together, me and this 7 foot 2 pile of shit standing next to me are going to rule over RPW with an iron fist. People complained about their matches being ruined before by interference, well maybe they should think about getting a new job, because Salvation will be out there deciding just who deserves the victory more, in every single fight from now on.
G: Gnome will smash all he sees, Gnome will slam all he sees, Gnome will destroy any he please!
Gnome and Revarkk leave the ring, with the audience booing and throwing things at them. The entire way down the ramp they seem to be discussing something important.
P: Well, every match tonight was a complete waste of time, as they were all ruined by Salvation.
I: The main event wasn't, Nonu and Rocko started that.
P: Ehh!
I: What are you gonna do about it? It looks like Gnomes the new #1 contender for the RPW title, as well as the Cruserweight belt.
P: He does realize he's about 600 pounds right?
I: EHHH, IM POX, I SAY EHHH!
P: Would you really want that belt after knowing where its been all this time, ( Revarkk's oants)?
Revarkk and Gnome stop by the announcer's table.
R: Are you saying my pubes aren't grand enough to grace the Cruiserweight belt!? Gnome, take care of this punk!
Gnome Chokeslams Pox off the ramp, onto a pile of camera equipment.
I: If he's dead, I got dibs on his salary, good night folks.
The show goes off the air with Gnome chokeslamming random audience members onto Pox.
P: That's nice to know Imp. So Salvation prevails, and Sorrel and Tsunami look to be screwed lcome Bloodlust.
I: Well, they all had a fair chance here tonight, Salvation just lucked out that the ref was a fan of theres.
P: A ref!? That's a disgrace if I ever heard one. Tsuanmi is nothing more than a little jackass in my book.
I: Speaking of which, I'm sure he'll be icing down his ass tonight after that giant chokeslam the big 500 pounder hit him with tonight.
P: He desrves it. The least that could happen to him, considering that he just wrecked, in my mind, the biggest main event on Manifestation I've ever seen.
I: What about the tower!? That was awesome.
P: Yah well, this one had heart.
I: You're dumber than a sock Pox. So is Nonu, shoulda had his eyes on Tsuanmi the entire time. If I stole the belt out from under someone who deserved it more than me, I'd figure they'd be a little pist at me.
P: What's done is done, right or wrong. I can only hope Bloodlust is a bit less dirty. Good night folks!
Pox: What in the hell happend out there tonight?
I: I'll tell you what happend, Revarkk owned Bloodlust. He single handedly took control of the RPW this night!
P: Yes, but does this mean Salvation's over and done with? So soon?
I: I'll tell ya, as much as I loved the stuff Slavation was doing out there each and every night, I much prefer seeing Revarkk do his thing than him making Gnome do all his dirty work for him.
P: Yes, but the backstabbing, why?
I: Gnome was getting too cocky I think. I think Sorrel a sign of weakness, and decided to dump him.
P: Well I don't think it makes a difference now, as it appears as of twenty seven minutes ago, Revarkks been fired, for his interference in Gnome and Nonu's RPW Title Match.
I; How can you fire a guy with two championships, it just doesn't make sense?
P: Well its happend, and there ain't a damn thing he can do about it now.
I: Well, thanks for purchasing Bloodlust on PPV everyone who watched, and good night.
- Nonu, with the help of a disguised Revarkk, chokeslammed Gnome to win the RPW Championship.
- Revarkk won the Hardcore Championship in the Tower Cell Match.
- Revarkk's been officially let go by the RPW.
- Gnome suffered serious injuries to his back as result of being #2900'ed off the top of the tower by Revarkk. Words on a law suit are already stirring up.
- Sorrel is is good condition after being busted open, as is Tsunami.
- Is Salvation over? Now that someone has the RPW Belt, who will challenge Nonu for it? What will become of Revarkk, and his belts? Find out this and more this Tuesday on Manifestation!
P: Well we saw David Vs Golieth round two tonight.
I: Didn't really end like it did in the story huh.
P: It most certainly did not Imp, that was an all out show of power by all men's parts in there. Not one who's who of RPW could keep himself backstage. Every man out there did what they did, in my mind, to try and show who's the best.
I: Well no, I think Revarkk just went out there to pound on Gnome a little bit.
P: And why do you think he decided to do that in the first place?
I: I dunno, Revarkk doesn't need to explain his actions, he's the Hardcore/ World Heavyweight Champ! If he says Gnome needs a beat down, everyone in that locker romm should answer the call.
P: Ehh, he keeps this up, and he might just get himself fired, permanently.
I: What!? No he won't. He inteferred in every single match up until he destroyed Salvation. If he could do that and get away with it, I doubt one little match here and there will matter.
P: He'd better hope you're right. Well, this is Pox and Imp for RPW Manifestation saying Goodnight!
I: Not much in the ways of wrestling tonight, but shockers nonetheless.
P: That's right, a main event for Momentum has been scheduled, the 6 man Gladiator Match.
I: Yah, and if that wasn't big enough news, we're changing nights for this show entirely. Right now fans are voting at the message boards for what night they think Momentum should be held.
P: Big news indeed Imp. So get to voting everyone out there.
I: Man, I can't wait to see that main event Tuesday! Five huge stars, and even Asphalt will be competing in an elimination tornado tag match, with a cell drooped with barbed wire on the top. It sounds like the coolest thing ever, and a great possibility for some serious blood fountains.
P: It's not just the bloodshed I'm liking this for, it's a game of chance. For three entire minutes one team will outnumber the other until the next wrestler is chosen. Imagine if an entire team is picked before the other, how would the other survive such a handicap!?
I: That's part of the excitement Pox. Well, goodnight folks, and remember, you can vote for a president every four years, but you can only vote to move Momentum this once, so get online!
P: Till Manifestation, this has been RPW Momentum, we thank you for tuning in.
Pox: That match was outstanding out there tonight Imp.
I: You just said out two times.
P: What.. SO?
I: So, it just makes you sound like a fool.
P: You know, I... I am getting sick and tired of you.
I: Wow, you just did it again.
P: AHHHH! Getting back to what's at hand, talk about an edge of your seat match. I was constantly pinching myself to make sure I wasn't dreaming. The things in that match were just, well nothing short of amazing.
I: That depends on who you ask. I'm sure Gnome didn't think that flying low blow to end his match was all that cool. Do you have any idea how much ice he'll need to sooth his balls?
P: An entire cube I'm sure.
I: What was that!? You'd better watch your mouth or Gnome may just watch it for you, and I've seen what he's done with people who run their mouths about him.
P: I think it's safe to say he won't be intimidating mush of anyone for a long while, after that match I'm surprised he was able to walk out of here!
I: Speaking of which, I hope RPW makes Nonu and Revarkk pay for what they did to that cage. There's no insurance for throwing a 500 pounder into it is there?
P: Your a damn moron Imp. Good night folks, and thanks for watching.
As Momentum kciks off, a video is shown on the titantron.
Sorrel: Nobody put me up to this, there is nothing in this for me. That having been said, I would like to publically apologize for my actions during and after the gladiator match. I should not have lost my temper with the officials.
As the video ends, the fans begin chanting for him to come out, but instead the GM does with an announcement of his own.
I: What was that with the whole apology thing by Sorrel Pox. I say, too little too late. He should be put on suspension and forced to undergo some serious anger management courses.
P: O would you shut up. Gnome not too long ago put me through a table and I didn't hear you saying anything about it.
I: Well maybe that's beacuse he had a reason, Sorrel just went beserk.
P: No reason, no reason! I give up trying to teach you how to understand things.
I: Speaking of understanding, how about those matches that I understand will happen this Tuesday for the titles!
P: It should be a must see event for sure.
I: Are you kidding me? That's an understatement Pox. We're gonna have a new World Champion after Manifestation! Tsunami's as good as gold, which he'll be wearing home that night.
P: How ya figure?
I: I have a knack for seeing talent, and I see none in Revarkk and barrels full in Tsunami. A whole tidal wave full of them!
P: That all sounds like a barrel load of shit to me. The match Saturday should be interesting if anything less. We get to see the "Hardcore Aussie" himself return to the ring in a handicap match!
I: I already put money down on Gnome and Aspahlt. I doubt Rocko will even be on his feet for more than 15 seconds of the entire match.
P: Where there's a will, there's a way Imp.
I: I hope those two take him to the Outback and beat the living hell outta him with pots and pans! That would be fun!
P: I think the rules would forbid that sorta act, but best of luck to the restaurant. Good night folks, and remember, you've only got one more week to vote for the move of Momentum.
P: What in the hell! Nonu was screwed in that match! Why I've never!
I: You've never been layed, that's what you never!
P: Shut up Imp, ya drunk.
I: I'm just telling the truth so the little man doesn't have to.
P: Just wait till the cameras go off, then I'll show you what a little man is.
I: You gonna whip out your..
P: Good night folks!
At a house show an unlabled tape is handed to the announcers by a RPW interviewer who looks incredibly fidgety. The announcers decide to play it on the main screen and the crowd cheers as they see Sorrel walking off the screen.
After that the interviewer who handed the announcers the tape comes on screen and says, "tough words from a man looking to be our next Cruiserweight Champion." The lights in the room suddenly go out and the fans begin to boo thinking the tape is messed up.
The camera zooms in on a light a few seconds later, and there's a man standing there. He gives omenous words to the interviewer and all of RPW, and vanishes thereafter.
The interviewer is white as a ghost as the lights come on and he runs out of the room.
After the main event, Sorrel comes down to the ring the first time ever as Cruiserweight Champion, but for some reason he doesn't have his belt.
Sorrel gives a speech on how he didn't know about the eligibility for the title, and he will forfeit the title if told to do so. The fans in the audience look pretty glum about the announcement, and a mixture of cheers and boos erupt. Sorrel exits the ring as a fan runs in and holds up a sign that says Nonu Got Screwjewed!! Security quickly removes him from the ring as the crowd begins to leave.
P: JIPPED!! SORREL WAS SCREWED OVER YET AGAIN BY THE HANDS, the hands of THAT SNAKE NONU and his PUNK MANAGER ROCKO!!
I; Jipped? More like hit with the RPW Championship. That's an honor in my book Pox. To be hit with something like that, well, that shows respect in some ways.
P: And what ways would that be Imp?
I: I'm no Ninja Turtle, but Im smart enough to know that if you're important enough to be taken out before a match, you're feared, and.. and... and respected among your peers!
P: BUT HE WAS SCREWED OUT OF HIS TITLE!
I: And Nonu wasn't!?
P: That's besides the point, just because you picked up some bad carma doesn't mean ya needa go spreading it around.
I: I hope Nonu comes back here and spreads your brain around the way you've been trash talking him. Good night ladies and gents!
I: How about that Sorrel, first he comes to the ring looking like it was the dead of night, that's how pitch black it was and glowing like an alien, then he wins the Cruierweight Championship! Can anyone else say showoff?
P: Showoff!? Are you out of your head Imp!? Sorrel outwrestled and outplayed every other man in that ring tonight to become the Cruiserweight Champion! He didn't do it showing off, he did it with skill and the strive to succeed.
I: Call it what you will Pox, he's still trying to steal the limelight.
P: And whos limelight would that be Imp?
I: Why mine of course!
P: Could you be any dumber?
I: I don't know, lets ask yourself about that one Mr. Chicaken Pox, a-bahk, bahk!
P: Die you scallywag!
Imp and Pox dive at each other, and begin a slap fest. Pox closes Imp's chair and Imp tumbles off the edge of the ramp.
P: Thank you for joining us tonight folks, and have a lovely rest of the evening!
I: (faint scream) I'll kill you you bastard! AHHHH! (Tusnami High Tides Imp while walking away from the ring after his loss.)
P: My dear Jesus Mary and Muhammad, what carnage we witenssed tonight!
I: I acutally thought the show was rather subtle overall.
P: Once again showing to the world why you're retarded and I'm not.
I: Did you see that tool box Silver used on Gnome! How much do you think one of those things goes for down at Sears, I've been meaning to pick one up?
P: Back to wrestling, I'm not so sure if Silver would have defeated that giant without a brick of steel for help.
I: Do I have to explain the Curiserweight Theory again Pox?
P: And how about that Sorrel VS the Dude! Excellent fight on both ends, Sorrel just had the experience on his side.
I: I think he had a little more than that.
P: What ya mean Imp?
I: If you think I'm implying steroids... I am.
P: Uh huh, and that Pain In the Glass match! The greatest first I've ever seen!
I: It was no Sorrel's Rules, but it'll do.
P: How could you possibly compare the two?
I: If it were Sorrel's rules, that match would have been over in five seconds with a double count out.
P: You're such a dipshit Imp. And how about our history breaking first time ever champion to hold 3 belts at once, Mr. James Revarkk!
I: It was a nice hard battle, but it could've used more count outs. I don't like seeing the belt change hands in actual matches.
P: Would someone please turn off his mic?
I: Too late, already did mys...
P: Goodnight folks.
I: Hahahaha, sucker!
I: How about that matchup?
P: It was certainly a shocker. That Fionn guy seems way too enthralled by his mustache. I forsee that becoming a problem for many of the guys backstage who also forget to shave like Revarkk did tonight.
I: Imagine that, every match that a guy shows some stubble in, Fionn runs out there with a chair and beats the hell out of them, hoha, that's great!
P: Rocko's drool stained pillow will be auctioned off on Ebay later tonight, bidding will start at 1 penny. Get yours before someone else doesn't!
I: He may just want it back himself after all that barbed wire his body was thrown into.
P: You may want to shut up before I stab the living hell out of you. Goodnight folks!
P: What a night, O god what a night, holy crap, that was such a night, I mean that night was what a!
I: Shut up Pox. Deathrow was a good day for retaining belts though. Both title matches had the champs leave with their straps in place.
P: Sadlt, not all fairly.
I: If you're talking about Revarkk's, your dead wrong. He could have pinned Silver right off the bat and won after that #2900, Rocko interfered first remember.
P: Nonu blatantly nailed him in the head with a sledge hammer! That's, that's just sick and disturbing. We have been told that after the attack, Rocko and Silver are in intensive care at the nearest hospital.
I: Ehh, alls fair in sledge and war. And how about that CLC match between Sorrel and Rocko. It was brutal.
P: We indeed saw a great amount of althleticism from Sorrel in that match, between busting open a casket, and withstanding a great amount of punishment from the hands of Rocko.
I: Yah, that match was great, I only wish Fionn could have seen it.
P: Another sickening display from Revarkk, imagine that. That guy lives in his own tormented world of hatred and corruption.
I: A defunct Nonu should add to it too.
P: That remains to be seen, what type of relationship these two men have developed.
I: Whatever the case, I can't wait for Manifestation.
P: Indeed, it should be a hell of a night!
I: You start that again, and I swear I'll fucking stab your lungs out!
P: Good night folks... AHHH!
I: Stop saying night!
P: What a match we had here tonight. The first ever Bloodvein match, wow!
I: It wasn't that impressive, it was just a royal rumble with added stipulations.
P: What did you say, that was good stuff!
I: I'll show you good stuff! * Imp pulls down his pants and shows Pox his tights that look exactly like Revarkk's.
P: Creepy, good night folks, safe elction day!
After the Bloodvein match, Sorrel gets in the ring and gets in Nonu's face, yelling about why he pushed him in. Nonu turns away, but Sorrel grabs him. Nonu gives Sorrel a hard right blow, and together him and Revarkk beat him down to the ground. Revarkk #2900's him, and then Nonu hits him with his newly developed move, the Dark Dragon Attack. Nonu puts his foot on Sorrel's chest, and starts verbally bashing him. Revarkk grabs a mic and tells the audience to shut their damn mouths so he can speak. He announces that any idiot can tell that he and Nonu are on the same level, and that they've decided it'd be best if they reinstated Salvation, as a new home for the greatest powers of RPW. He also grabs his RPW belt, and says that he's handing it down to Nonu.
The lights dim, and out comes a strange looking man, who's called Urizzoss. He comes to the ring and stares at the new faction, then drags in Fionn who's leaning on the outside of the ring, and piledrives him. The reborn Salvation leaves the ring, as Urizzoss picks off the left over wrestlers. The show ends with Salvation turning around, and screams coming from the background.
I: What a win for Tsunami!
P: He didn't win, he cheated!
I: He didn't cheat, Sorrel past out. Some submission expert! Can't even break out of the basics!
P: That wasn't a submission, that was an atempt on his goddamn life!
I: Listen, I grew up in Iowa, so I know what ruffhousing looks like, and what a killing looks like, alright.
P: I'm out of here!
I: Ya, go you cry baby, go buy another box of tampax! Looks like the victorius Nonu was right about Sorrel's cockiness, the beltless Sorrel would have never allowed himself to be overtaken so easily. He would have held out a few more minutes before losing. And speaking of Nonu, Salvation did a fine job at taking out Gnome earlier this week, not to mention Urizzoss on top of that. What hell will brew between these two giants and the greatest alliance wrestlings ever seen? Find out next week! Good night folks!
I: That whole Beneath the Mat thing turned out well for young Nonu, didn't it?
P: As did anywhere falls for Tsunami, too bad neither title was retained fairly!
I: I don't see why not.
P: Interference in both matches!
I: You're blind old man! Nonu was nearly screwed over because of it in his match!
P: Likely story, for a bisexual!
I: What was that!? ( Imp and Pox begin beating eachother with their microphones while Manifestation goes off the air.)
I: Did you see that chair shot Sorrel had on Nonu!? The dirty theif stole that match! No man can be expected to compete when his own blood covers his eyes.
P: I'd like you to remember that Sorrel has been busted open himself many a time in the past, and even won some of those matches.
I: Yah, well I still don' think it's right the way things went down out there.God only knows what he'll do as GM, if he even thinks about firing me I'll wallop his ass!
P: What will he do, I wonder. Perhaps give himself title shots at every title, or maybe, hopefully, fire you! We won't no until next week on Manifestation, good night folks.
I: I've got butterflies in my tummy about what he might do to Salvation!
I: What an terrific match! Best ending I've seen in the business, choking him out with barbed wire, hoohah!
P: That match was a travesty, a travesty and a walnut strudel goddammit!
I: You hungry?
P: No, but obviously those lumberjacks were, for blood money!
I: Sorry, what?
P: You saw the way they didn't attack Nonu, but did both Krayola and Sorrel, not to mention hold Sorrel outside the ring longer than allowed so Nonu could pick up the win.
I: Pish Posh, they just let Nonu be cuz he da champ! They respect people like us.
P: So now your a champion?
I: I don't see why not, I'm wearing a belt aren't I?
P: That's Levis you mortard!
I: Yah, you wish your pants stayed in place like this!
Recently theGAME's family suffered a loss. RPW wishes them the best, and hopes that they're able to cope with this, and find peace once again.
I: Not much happend out there tonight Pox.
P: Do you see wrestlers burning fans in the middle of the ring so much nowadays Imp, that it sits well with you!?
I: That fan had it coming, first, he was a Fionn fan, and second, he was a scrawny little bastard! Maybe if he was built like Revarkk, he wouldn't have needed such a grueling dosage of fitness powder!
P: I cannot believe you're actually sticking up for Revarkk's actions out there tonight! You're insane!
I: Not as insane as Momentum's gonna get this Friday. Sorrel's GM'ing, and frankly, if he sees the light, I think we can expect to see a lot more fans set ablaze in time for the holidays.
P: Farking tard, one big farking tard!
I; Maybe some carrot cake too, O' god I hope he brings carrot cake!
I: Ahhhh, what an awesome vacation!
P: Vacation!? I was working my ass off with 3 jobs trying to make what this job normally pays!
I: Said the poor man.
P: The break certainly hasn't grown any ring rust on the stars of RPW. They went to town on eachother out there tonight like nobodys business.
I: If it's not your business, then keep out of it Pox. Don't be rude!
P: I see you used your time for sniffing paint thinner. Be that as it may, what a grueling match it was in that triple threat.
I: For Revarkk and Sorrel at least. My man Nonu had the brains to let those two kill eachother while getting in some good workout time.
P: Some would call that cowardly! Sorrel showed that RPW still has the best and most high flying, risk taking, cruiserweights in the business! And Revarkk used his power and that ladder perfectly to take out the competition. I only wish we could have seen who would have won that, (what I consider to be) one on one match.
I: What are you talking about, it was 3! And Fionn was there too, providing what only he can provide.
P: A spoon full of suck? Anyways, I really hope Shamoo stops falling through those rings, because the RPW's low on money as it is, and with his immense weight, it just ain''t helping!
I: Bitchy, bitchy, bitchy! Good night folks, stay tuned for "So he Married an Axe Murderer's Lawyer."
I: Damn, this is some good pie!
P: Pie, where in sam hell did you get pie?
I: Nonu's just throwing them around backstage, yummm, yah, this one's cherry.
P: Who the hell are you sleeping with to keep this job Imp!? Tonight was a big night for Momentum, Lutheran managed to defeat Chamberstorm, giving him his mtach for Tuesday against Sorrel for the Cruiserweight title.
I: Ya really think Sorrel will be able to fight by then, much less blink, after what Fionn and his goons did to him?
P: Time heals everything Imp, and I think he'll be...
I: Time won't be healing Nonu or Shamoo anytime soon, not ever have I seen such a beatdown!
P: It was an incredible match indeed. Both men defied death for the sake of the RPW Championship, and Nonu came out on top in this case.
I: You mean Nonu came out on bottom, since it was the first man to the ground wins.
P: Why the hell did your dad give up using condoms one night!?
P: Well a good night and a bad one for this new faction, Generation Fionn.
I: Damn right, they wish their trailer had the dubs mine does!
P: I was referring to the actual show you jackass.
I: What show? Friends? Please, that shows off the air you moron. You're a moron... moron!
P: *Pulls off his belt and smacks Imp across the face with it* As I was saying, first they get their wishes as Shamoo destroys any chance Sorrel had at winning the Cruiserweight Championship. Then Nonu and Silver are locked out and in jail, with no way to get to their matches. But finally, they do show up, and Generation Fionn got their clocks cleaned!
I: Like a grandfather clock, or something more along the lines of a wrist?
P: Shut the hell up Imp.
I: Go listen to Alkaline Trio while I do the both of our jobs!
* Imp and Pox get in a slap fight. Generation Fionn comes out and puts them through the announcers table*
P: What in sam hall is with that fat son of a bitch Shamoo and ruining every Cruiserweight Champ match we have!?
I: Maybe he secretly wants to be thin himself.
P: And that's why he emptys all the tables when the caterers arrive?
I: Maybe he's a closet dieter, I dunno!
P: And Chamberstorm against Sorrel for the Hardcore Championship this Friday now eh, what a match!
I: Yah really, I can't decide which loser I don't want to root for more.
P: What the hell are you saying?
I: Well maybe if either of them ever developed a personality and managed to win a match without a miracle every now and them, I'd like um more. The only matches they ever win are when all the good people take out eachother first.
P: .... And what about that dispicable Fionn, first he kidnaps a kid, then has him act as though molested by Lutheran, then gets him kicked by his pupil, and now tries selling him off!
I: Yah I know, what a business man!
P: I was gonna say criminal, but god knows we never agree on anything.
I: That's because your not smart. If you had any sense in you, we'd be sitting here saying the same thing over and over.
P: I'm gonna go home and drink a large bottle of whiskey to recover from listening to your blather.
I: You can't drink away your paralyzed daughter!
P: What the hell did you just say!!?
I: Nothing, I didn't say nothing. Good night folks.
Pox takes the night off for his birthday and Imp is left alone.
I:............................ Pox is an idiot... smells too. True story.
P: What a terrific matchup among the best RPW has to offer.
I: Yah, too bad they didn't offer Rolos. I was starving out there Pox!
P: This is wrestling, not a food court.
I: Yah, your stomachs a food court!
P: So Lutheran grabs the Hardcore gold and Revarkk gets the RPW Title. Two title changes in one night, one match for that matter.
I: Speaking of matter, you take up a bunch of it don't ya fatty!
P: Do you really want to taste my wedding ring again?
I: Why not, I tasted your wife's last night.... over and over and over and.. owwwww! Pox punches Imp in the face and a clip of the movie the Punisher plays the rest of the time.
Imp: Did youn see that out there! I wonder how Grand Wizard and his fans keep their robes so white. Amazing!
Pox: Out of everything that went on tonight, that's what you say?
Imp: Something else happend?
Pox: You have got to be thee biggest moron I've ever encountered.
Imp: I never knew you had so many Pulitzer Prize winning friends.
Pox: I'm done here. I quit! I cannot handle this kind of mental retardation day in and day out any further!
Imp: Go on and quit. I handled this job just fine when you weren't here before. You'll see.
Imp gets up to leave.
Director: Uhh, Imp buddy, you've still got some time left.
Imp: O.... so how about that cake? I find that sometimes I like frosting in the middle and other times I think it'd be nicer just on the sides.
Director: Ok Imp I think we're done here.
Imp on the phone: What do you mean the show was today? What's a Momentum? Will there be cake? What do you mean I'm fired? I had a job?