| *This story is the sequel to my previous story, Voices. You have to have read Voices to understand this story, and as in the first story, it will probably be helpful if you've seen "Goodbye, Farewell & Amen." To alleviate any confusion, this story begins back in Hawkeye's delusional world. Read on, and I hope you enjoy this story as much as its prequel. Awakenings (A Sequel to Voices) By: Cathy W. "Wake up, Hawkeye!" Sidney continued yelling. Suddenly an infant's wail pierced the air. "Honey, sweetie, it's okay. Mama's here," Margaret soothed as she lifted her child into her arms. She jostled him gently and looked at Sidney with pleading eyes. Hawkeye rolled and struck at the air as if he were fighting off real people. Sidney held Hawkeye's arms down with a strength that many didn't know the quiet psychiatrist had; in fact, he did not even know he had it. "No...no, I can't. I 'm not strong enough...uhhh...no.." Hawkeye mumbled. The voices were so strong and real he felt like he could almost reach out and grab them. "No!" he yelled and then violently sat straight up. His eyes were wide open but unfocused. "Hawk!" Margaret yelled. For a second, it seemed to only serve to upset Ben, Jr. again, but then Hawkeye turned and faced her. His eyes slowly met hers and focused. "Margaret?" he asked confusedly. "Where am I?" He turned and saw Sidney sitting there, still holding his arms. "What are you doing here and why are you holding me down?" He looked at Sidney with fear in his eyes. He had no idea what was going on, and it had to be pretty bad if Sidney had to hold him down with such force. "Oh, Hawk, Hawk!" Margaret yelled and flew into his arms, holding the baby carefully so he would not be flattened between them. She sobbed uncontrollably, shaking like a leaf. "Margaret, what's wrong? Why are you crying?" he looked at Sidney, pleading for an answer. His eyes were so full of hurt because he knew, deep down, that he had caused it somehow. "I'm just happy you're okay, right now," she said, smiling through her tears. She handed Ben, Jr. to Sidney, who took him with a smile, and hugged her husband tightly. She squeezed him and whispered, "Never leave me again." He looked at her in confusion, but saw what he did not know in her eyes. "I won't," he replied. "I promise." *** A month later *** "Well, Hawkeye, when was the last time you heard the voices?" Sidney asked him curiously. "Not since that night, Sidney," Hawkeye said, his eyes clouding over. "I guess I'm not fun enough to talk to anymore." He tried vainly and without much success to lighten his own mood. "Well, I'd say, at least for now, that you're basically back to normal. I want you to stay in town for a while, if you can. I just want you to be near here for a couple of more months, with appointments once a week. Other than that, you can go back to your normal life." Hawkeye looked at him with some of the mischievous twinkle back in his eye. This is what he had been waiting for. *** 3 months later *** After sessions every week for about three months, Sidney had cut him loose. Of course, if Hawkeye had any trouble or just wanted to talk, Sidney would be there ready to listen. He was only a phone call away. But to Hawkeye, it was the ultimate sign that he was completely sane and normal again. Unlike Korea, he was not needed anywhere urgently, and there weren't others worse off than him who needed Dr. Freedman's help more desperately. Sidney had all the time he needed to help Hawkeye for as long as he needed it, and he had decided that Hawk did not need it any longer. He was just ready to get on with his perfect life. As he trudged the mile from the clinic to his new home, he wondered how Margaret would take the news. She seemed so willing to give everything up for him, move from her adopted home of Crabapple Cove, where she had finally started to fit in, and move near Sidney's clinic. It had not been as hard as he thought it would be on her. She had met and instantly clicked with Sidney's wife Anni, and she had said thousands of times that she was happy wherever he and Ben, Jr. were. However, he just wanted her to finally have some roots. She had been an Army brat all her life, with no city to call her own. She had met the love of her life, had a son, and now all she needed was a home. She was finally going to get it. *** a few minutes later *** "Margaret, where are you? I've got some good news! Margaret?" he shouted as he climbed the stairs. He turned the corner into their bedroom and searched it with his eyes. "Surprise!" Margaret and Anni yelled as they jumped out from behind the door. Margaret was holding Ben, Jr., who was wearing a cone-shaped hat and smiling his one-toothed grin. He cooed happily at seeing his father home and reached for Hawkeye. Hawkeye grabbed his son and turned to look at the two women who were smiling at him. "What is this for?" he asked, grinning at them. "Is this just because I'm such a wonderful person, or is it for a specific reason?" "Sidney called and told us the news. We're so happy for you!" Anni replied. "Be happier for my beautiful wife," he answered her. "She's finally getting the perfect life she deserves." *** 4 months later *** After moving back to Crabapple Cove, Margaret, Hawkeye, and Ben, Jr. had settled back into a perfect life. Daniel Pierce, Hawkeye's father, seemed years younger since they had moved back into the big empty house. Hawkeye could not remember a time when he had been happier. He had even taken over his father's clinic; Daniel had retired after they had moved back to watch Ben, Jr. Margaret, of course, was the head nurse; in fact, the only nurse. She was happy to be working but with a schedule that allowed her plenty of time with her son. Lately, however, she had been tired and unable to work for long periods of time. She was worried that maybe she was sick, but denied it to herself because everything was too perfect. Then one day, she resolved to find out. It was better to deal with it than to put up a happy facade while she was so worried inside. "Honey, I don't know how to tell you this, so I'll just say it. I've felt very weak lately, and I think we need to do some tests." She winced at the look of worry, pain, and fear that crossed his face. He instantly went to her and put his arm around her. "If something's wrong, we'll work through it." He kissed her forehead and they began the tests. *** Hours Later *** "Well, honey," Hawkeye said with a smile in his voice and a grin on his face. "You're not sick. We're having a baby!" "I never imagined that I could be pregnant again!" she exclaimed, laughing. "It just feels different from when I was pregnant with Ben. Maybe it's just because it's the second child." "A second child," Hawkeye echoed softly. He looked wistfully at Ben, Jr. who was crawling on the floor at their feet. "A second child!" he added, a little louder and more jubilantly. He lifted Margaret up and spun her around, laughing hysterically. She joined him in her pure bliss, thinking of names and imagining what he or she would be like. This was pure happiness. *** 7 Months Later *** "Relax, son. Everything's fine," Daniel comforted Hawkeye, rubbing his back as Hawkeye sat, shoulders hunched, anxiously staring at the floor. "You know Michael; he's a great doctor. Everything's fine, I promise," he repeated. He sounded a lot more confident than he felt. He knew what his son was going through, and he felt the same way. "I know, Dad. But I can't help it," Hawkeye replied, eyebrows furrowed in worry. He more than anyone knew how strong Margaret was, but the baby was as small and helpless as could be. Just then an orderly walked in and motioned to Hawkeye and Daniel. "Everything's fine," the orderly said, and Daniel winked at Hawkeye as if to say 'I told you so.' "Mrs. Pierce can see you now." Hawkeye leapt up and dashed down the hall, straight to Margaret's room. He knew where it was; all hospital's layouts were basically the same and he had been a resident at one time, before Korea. "Margaret!" he yelled, then hushed when he realized that he could wake or startle the newborn. "So?" he whispered, looking at her questioningly. "So what?" she replied. Though she was tired, she had an impish grin, something she had learned from her husband. "So, what is it? A little Ben or a little Margaret?" he asked. "I thought it was a little human," she replied in mock confusion. "Or even all human." She looked up at him and grinned. "Margaret," he said in a warning tone. "Boy or girl?" "Girl!'" she exclaimed, unable to contain herself any longer. "Girl!" he yelled, laughing. The little baby nestled against Margaret stirred, whimpered, and went right back to sleep. "A little Margaret," he added and smiled. His wife looked up at him and gazed into his eyes. She was so happy she could laugh forever and just never stop. "So?" Daniel asked as he stepped in, holding Ben, Jr. "So what?" the happy parents said in unison, and laughed. "Is it a grandson or granddaughter?" he asked and stroked the newborn's cheek ever so gently. He had the same gentle, loving hands as his son. "You now see before you a grandchild of the fairer sex, who I hope the coarser sex stays away from," he joked. "What are you going to name her?" he asked. Hawkeye stared into Margaret's loving eyes and answered, "Margaret. Maggie for short." "Maggie," he repeated. "Can't you guys come up with any original names? Benjamin and Margaret, Ben and Maggie. You have no imagination," Daniel jested, and smiled at his new granddaughter, asleep in his daughter-in-law's arms. *** 3 Months Later *** Hawkeye was driving home from his clinic where he worked. Margaret was still home on maternity leave, and he had seen more patients than he should have. He just did not have the heart to tell people that it either had to be an emergency or they had to have an appointment. He was a doctor; he could not turn someone away who wanted medical help. He shook his head as if to clear away the cobwebs. He was bone-tired, but he could not wait until he got home. His father, Ben, Maggie, and Margaret would be waiting for him as they always did. He allowed his mind to drift for a moment. He could not wait for the welcome homecoming he inevitably got, with the talk about what went on during the day, what they were feeling, and what new thing Ben had done. Ben was learning something new every day. He awoke from his daydream when a car horn's screech pierced the air. Tires squealed, headlights blinded him, and then there was blackness. ************************************************************************ Back in Sidney's Clinic (in the real world) "Doctor! Doctor!" Sidney yelled. Sidney had been keeping a constant vigil over Hawkeye since he had stopped stirring at their voices. Earlier, he had at least seemed to hear them, but there had not been any kind of response at all for a while. It was a bad sign. It was like he had built a wall between himself and the real world, and it would be that much harder to reach him. As he pondered this, Hawkeye suddenly went limp, but not the way he usually did when he went to sleep. This was different, frighteningly different. His pulse had weakened and he was not moving. 'Where's the doctor?!' he thought desperately. "Doctor!" he screamed again, his eyes searching for him. ************************************************************************ Back into Hawkeye's Delusional World He was lying in a ditch, cold, hurt, and unconscious. He was in the middle of nowhere, and bleeding profusely. If he did not get help soon, he would certainly die. *** At the Pierce's Home *** "Dada?" Ben, Jr. asked his mother, scanning the room for him. "He'll be home soon, honey. He probably just had a lot of patients," Margaret answered her son. She said it more convincingly than she thought she could muster. He had never been more than ten minutes late home from work, and it had been two hours. She looked at Maggie. "He'll be home soon," she repeated, more to convince herself than anyone else. *** Back On the Road *** Carlye Breslin, until recently Mrs. Carlye Peters, drove down the road. 'Where did that man say Hawkeye's house was again?' she asked herself. Being transferred to Maine had seemed to be the only logical course of action after her divorce from Michael. Boston held too many bad memories, like her leaving Hawkeye ('the biggest mistake of my life' she thought ruefully) and now her divorce. Well, now Maine was home. She had grown as a person quite a bit, and hoped Hawkeye had too. She just hoped the war had not changed him for the worse. 'I hope Hawkeye will be happy to see me,' she desperately thought. Even if he did not want to be serious, he had always been, first and foremost, her best friend. She would at least have a friendly shoulder to cry on. But she hoped that he would be more than a friendly shoulder. As she drove on the deserted roadway, she noticed something that seemed out of place in the brush by the roadside. She stopped her car and cautiously walked toward it. She gave it a good look-over and gasped. It was a car. She knew that she should call 911, but if someone needed emergency care, she could do more by making them stable. She was a nurse, after all. She carefully made her way down the slopes of the ditch. She turned the body of a dark-haired man over and screamed in shock. *** Back at the Pierce's Home *** Margaret hung up the phone. "No one answered when I called the clinic. He always answers the phone, no matter how busy he is," Margaret said, her voice quivering in worry. She turned to Daniel and said, "Could you go out looking for him? I'll go by Crabapple Cove General and see if they've seen or heard anything." Daniel did not answer, just turned and walked outside. "Come on, sweetheart," she said to Ben, Jr. She grabbed his coat and added, "I'm going to look for Daddy." *** Back in the Ditch *** "Hawkeye!" Carlye screamed, tears streaming down her face. 'You have to calm down,' she told herself. 'You know you'll help him a lot more if you settle down and do what you know how.' Her hands were shaking, but at least now they worked. She checked his injuries and realized they were too severe for her to deal with. The only option was to get him to the ER. And fast. *** At Crabapple Cove General *** "Has a Hawkeye Pierce been admitted?" Margaret asked the lady at the desk. She looked over the chart and looked up at the frightened wife. "No, ma'am," she said. "What about a man, dark hair, lanky..." Margaret started, before the woman cut her off. "We all know Hawkeye somehow, Mrs. Pierce. I've known him since he was a little kid. Believe me, if he had been admitted, I would know." Margaret looked at the woman in surprise. How did she know who she was? She just shook it off and turned to head out. Then a woman ran in out of breath and said, "There's a man with head injuries, severe lacerations and bruises, broken ribs, possibly other broken bones, in my car. He needs emergency care. Hurry!" Margaret watched the woman turn to lead the doctors and nurses to the parking lot. She seemed familiar somehow. She continued to walk out the door, and scooted to allow the woman, followed by a stretcher and medical personnel, through. She looked down at the person lying unmoving on the stretcher and cried out in terror. ************************************************************************ Back in the Real World The doctor turned to Sidney and shook his head. "There is no medical cause for his condition. I would guess either he just gave up, or it's all psychological." Sidney stared sadly at Hawkeye. He either had to reach him, or it was all up to Hawkeye. He had a feeling that the key was in his delusions. ************************************************************************ Back into the Delusions Margaret stared in disbelief after the stretcher. It was long gone, into one of the rooms, or perhaps the OR. She had not heard exactly what they said they had to do. She just stared and her mind stopped working. Just then Daniel walked in. "What's wrong? Hawkeye?!" he shrieked, his voice breaking. She only nodded. "No!" he yelled and fell to the ground, crying. *** 24 Hours Later *** Margaret stirred, feeling someone's eyes on her. She looked to the other side of the bed in the ICU, where Daniel Pierce was sitting. He was asleep, so it couldn't be him. She started to lay her head back down on Hawkeye's stomach to go back to sleep, but she still felt someone watching her. She looked to the doorway and saw the silhouette of a woman. The woman stepped into the light and Margaret saw that it was the blonde who had brought him in. She couldn't shake the feeling that she knew Hawkeye's rescuer from somewhere in her past. "How's he doing?" the woman asked sincerely. "I don't know. Not very good, though. He hasn't woken up yet, and that's not a good sign," Margaret answered sadly. "Well, Margaret, I hope Hawkeye's okay," she replied. She seemed to be just as genuinely concerned as Margaret was. "How do you know my name?" Margaret demanded. Her emotions were all strung out, and she was getting angry. It was a welcome break from feeling worried, scared, and depressed. "You honestly don't remember?" she asked, surprised. "No, I have no idea what you're talking about," she replied. "I'm Carlye. We met in Korea. At the M*A*S*H 4077th. Ring any bells?" she asked. Margaret eyebrows furrowed in thought, then she raised them in recognition. "Carlye...Breslin, is it?" "Well, I guess now it is. I'm certainly not Carlye Peters anymore." At Margaret's look of confusion, she elaborated, "I just divorced my now ex-husband." "Oh, well, what are you doing here?" Margaret questioned. She knew that discussing exes could be a touchy subject, so she decided to change it. "I came to talk to Hawkeye. He's the closest friend I've ever had, and I really need him now," she answered. Carlye turned away, wiping tears from her eyes. Margaret glanced down, to give her her privacy. She saw something move in the corner of her eye, and looked down at Hawkeye. His eyelids were fluttering, but he had not quite awakened yet. "Carlye!" Margaret cried and pointed at Hawkeye. She turned and saw the same thing. "This is a good sign," she said jubilantly and smiled at Hawkeye. Margaret grabbed one of his hands and squeezed it. She noticed Carlye doing the same with his other hand. She felt a small pang of jealousy, but shook it off. Any movement on Hawkeye's part was a step in the right direction, so it was a time to be thankful. Hawkeye's eyes suddenly flew open and he looked up into Margaret's face. "Margaret," he said happily and smiled. "What am I doing here?" "You were in an accident. She brought you in, and saved your life," she answered, and pointed to the other side of the bed. His eyes followed her finger, and his smile disappeared. "Carlye?" he asked. "It's me, Hawkeye. I'm back," she said and smiled. ************************************************************************ |
 |