| *Eddie nodded and jumped up into the chair. Strolling the long way to General Chat they finally arrived and saw a site for sore eyes. Some users were cutting themselves; others had concession stands that were trading a kidney for a rare "Giles Atlantis High autograph". In fact now replacing run down Ubb homes were stands everywhere. They seemed to have a stand for everything they even had one to save yourself and find Jesus.* * Mindwarp shaking her head just sighed. * "Okay little Man this seems like a good place." *Eddie hopped down off the chair. Starting up the camera he began the ten second count down. Mindwarp backed away from the chair. She saw the five-second count down and then ran to her chair, giving the infamous slip fall and let the chair spin around move while Mindwarp falls on her face move. Grumbling and swearing every other word in the bad language dictionary, she found her chair and sat down. Fiddling with her fingers she coughed and smiled to the camera. "Good morning one and all. Welcome to downtown General Chat. I'm your host Mindwarp16 here to insult…I mean here to give you the updates of the Ubb boards, and where else LIVE FROM THE PLACE ITSELF THE GENERAL CHAT!" * Some users go by pointing to Mindwarp16 and making loud comments. * "Hey shut the hell up you Newbies I'm trying to do a friggen show here!" *Turning her head back to face the camera she smiled. * " Well as everyone can see there have been some wonderful changes to our Ubb homes and threads alike. We can't swear and all democracy has been taken away from us. *Puts a little plastic box that has tiny fencing formed around it and smiles. * "If anyone can see this fence around my, this is how one must feel like when their living in their new homes. Heil IS, that is what I like to say. Go the new Nazis." *Mindwarp puts up the right arm giggles conservatively and crosses her legs and then takes of the fencing square. * "Now onto the updates from like the whole summer. Way back in July a girl by the name of Tribal.girl titled her threads and whined that she was lonely. Sneaking more into her subdued mind I found out the poor little thing is fifteen years old and in love with herself. Sorry boys she's illegal!" *Mindwarp watches as all the guys lining up at the dating center stand, walk away with their heads drooped and their boners tilting down. Giggling she then sees the poll stand light up. * "Oh my here we go again poll after poll question after question! Do we really care what song you want played at your funeral or what you're eating or if you want to go to hell or Heaven. I mean come on if I was that interested in other people I'd go have sex with Doctor Phil. Strike that never mind. Seriously next thing you know people will be asking things like "What size is your bra?" or "How many times you measured your dick with your fingers", and then people will be shagging online. Never mind gross I just remember Zoot Wanna Be has already done that!" * Mindwarp shudders and then fiddles with her fingers desperately missing her desk and papers. * "How is this field work I'm not even standing?" *Eddie points to the microphone suggesting to use it, Mindwarp picks it up. * "Oh yeah." *Mindwarp picks up the microphone stands up and shoves the chair into a group of ten Newbies. * "Yippy a strike! Oops sorry little things!" "Speaking of annoying Newbies I haven't seen anyone worse than this monstrosity called rEiNaPrInCeSsA. She is literally a born again Christian!" * Begins Mocking in a southwestern American voice. * "Follow the golden path! You're not with Jesus until you follow his words my way. I've been a preacher for a whole six months." * Mindwarp rolls her eyes. * * Grabs rEiNaPrInCeSsA by her legs drags her to a cross and ties the user to it. And hangs the girl upside down. Swinging she smiles at the camera and pushes the swinging user out of her way. * "Be with Jesus now my brethren. Doogie I'm sure will be they're soon to save you, or maybe die with you I'm not sure." * rEiNaPrInCeSsA swings around again into the camera to be seen and then swings away. Still Mindwarp smiles so not to displease the audience. * "Now with all the religious views out of the way I see a lot of people are being very depressed and are seeking guidance at the general chat." |