There is little content to this page, but trust me - Considering all the bullshit out there, this will grow relatively quickly.
Random rants, and compilations of things that piss me off are constantly being added. Want to bring something else to my attention so I can get pissed about that, too? Mentalgiants@hotmail.com.
How does one evaluate and present himself with merely one perspective, I ask you?
Impossible. To do so only illustrates a single mood, perspective, or even personality.
There is a happy-go-lucky side of the professor, yes. But you won't find it here.
This page is dedicated to that which I hold as no joking matter.
If you're looking for some happy fun, I strongly suggest you hit the
'back' button on your browser and click on the "Fun Lovin'" link.
If you stay- realize this - hey, playtime is over.
There may be some unhappy sounding shit here. Personally, I find it theraputic.
Sometimes we hate others, sometimes we hate situations, sometimes we hate actions, and sometimes we hate ourselves. The dark side of a soul can be downright mean and ugly.
There are shitty men out there, too. Now for an ongoing list of more shit I hate.
STUPID FUCKING WOMEN
I'm sorry to dissapoint any of you, but seriously -
there is no god.
"But Professor, if you believe there is no god, where do you find hope - what is your reason to live - don't you have any faith?"
Oh, yes - beauty. Haven't heard that before.
Fuck you.
Sometimes, there are actually those out there that find a reason to live in what they can actually see, touch, or even feel. YEAH!
Really, I'm fucking serious! You don't have to live for some piece of fiction written by dipshits that wanted to feel special thousands of years ago!
You can actually try living for something real. I wouldn't suggest it for everyone. It is hard, in today's world, to actually find meaning in anything. Some people need a false premise to live their lives on, they can't separate from it. To do so would give them such a harsh dose of reality, they would probably kill themselves. Of course, that might be cool, there are too many assholes out there anyway. So, what is my reason for living? What is something 'real' that I live for?
It used to be for love. Yes, it sounds sappy. Living for love. It can be totally awesome and fullfilling for a while, but it can also kill you. Women are dangerous.
Oh, I'm sorry, is that a shitty thing to believe in? Simply holding true to something that is really a part of my life?
Fuck you.
It's better than believing in some invisible man in the sky who dictates what I can and can't think, do, say, and tells me that I was born into sin.
Religion is evil, manipulative, and judgmental. How can everyone take it so seriously when honest and natural actions by people can condemn their souls for eternity?
Fuck religion.
Back to my point, though - Love is a very serious, powerful, and dangerous religion. One day you find yourself completely fullfilled and having a meaningful happy life, and the next you find yourself empty, hollow, and lacking a soul.
Fuck love.
Currently, I am trying to find something that I can strive for that does not cause me ongoing pain. Something that I can hold onto that isn't going to bite me in the ass..
But hey, religious assholes that think you are going to turn me towards "true meaning" in my life - It is not going to be a 'god'. Don't preach to me about it.
If I really don't believe in god, how am I going to start? You can't make a teenager start believing in Santa Clause, for christ's sake.
Fuck god.
I shall find my own faith and reason to live. It will be real.
- all of which is total bullshit.
Here are some true and real spoken words. Some were made in absolute pain, some drunken anger, and some after a depressing dream. Some are pretty quick and to the point, and some - well, no one will ever really know what some mean except me. I like to make things seem about one thing, when in reality, it means something completely different.
When is it going to be my time?
This 'time' I speak of, is not about demise, but a metaphoric manifestation in my mind about true happiness.
I speak of love often, but how does one really know love if they don't have it?
At key points throughout my life, I thought I had possessed it, but was sadly mistaken. Love for another must be returned in order to be complete.
Was it ever returned? I'll probably never know. This answer alone dictates that it probably wasn't, so I have somehow answered my own question in a roundabout way.
So I guess I should be wondering,
Is it ever going to be my time?
Trying to answer that is difficult. From day to day, hell, minute to minute my thoughts on this change from one extreme to the other.
As for you optimists out there: people like me sicken of hearing the repeated 'you are a great person, and you'll find someone that is right for you'.
Come on, seriously, I understand your friendly enthusiasm, but that statement becomes emptier every time I hear it. It's like someone is constantly prodding a part of my mind, attempting to stimulate hope, and that part of my mind is now worn down from excessive poking. There is a hole in my brain, goddammit. Stop poking at it. It will do neither of us any good.
I propose to those that antagonize me with false hope -
Bring me something real. If some woman dares venture to find if I am really this 'good guy', bring it. I am of a dieing breed - men that know how to treat a lady. Unfortunately, women don't know how they are supposed to be treated. Really. Of course, there are always exceptions, but I speak of the majority when I make these extreme statements.
Doubtless, this proposal will not be met. In all reality, any woman that throws out the 'you're a good guy' crap would never actually be with that guy in a million years.
Now, if you are some optimistic little shit that is reading this thinking, 'this guy is full of shit, I know they mean it when they say I'm a great guy' - I have one suggestion. Ask them out. It's not going to happen, man. Either you will get the 'we're too good of friends' response, or some other bullshit that allows them to turn you down without actually being honest about it.
Face the facts, it's probably just a lie to make you feel better.
There you go, think about that one, boys. Now take your shattered ego and do something constructive.
