Diving with Greg

Diving with Greg

Bad day at work............

Next time you have a bad day at work...think of this guy.   Rob is a commercial saturation diver for Global Divers in Louisiana. He performs underwater repairs on offshore drilling rigs. Below is an E-mail he sent to his sister. She then sent it to Laughline, who was
sponsoring a worst job experience" contest. Needless to say, she won.

Hi Sue,
Just another note from your bottom-dwelling brother. Last week I had   a bad day at the office. I know you've been feeling down lately at   work, so I thought I would share my dilemma with you to make you realize
it's not so bad after all. Before I can tell you what happened to me, I first   must bore you with a few technicalities of my job. As you know, my office
lies at the bottom of the sea. I wear a suit to the office. It's a wetsuit.   This time of year the water is quite cool. So what we do to keep   warm is this: We have a diesel powered industrial water heater. This   $20,000 piece of shit sucks the water out of the sea. It heats it to a
delightful temperature. It then pumps it down to the diver through a   garden hose, which is taped to the air hose. Now this sounds like a   damn good plan, and I've used it several times with no complaints. What I
do, when I get to the bottom and start working, is I take the hose and   stuff it down the back of my wetsuit. This floods my whole suit with warm
water. It's like working in a Jacuzzi. Everything was going well   until all of a sudden, my ass started to itch. So, of course, I scratched   it. This only made things worse. Within a few seconds my ass started to
burn. I pulled the hose out from my back, but the damage was done. In   agony I realized what had happened. The hot water machine had sucked up a
jellyfish and pumped it into my suit. Now since I don't have any   hair on my back, the jellyfish couldn't stick to it. However, the crack of   my ass was not as fortunate. When I scratched what I thought was an itch, I
was actually grinding the jellyfish into my ass. I informed the dive   supervisor of my dilemma over the communicator. His instructions   were unclear due to the fact that he, along with 5 other divers, were all
laughing hysterically. Needless to say I aborted the dive. I was   instructed to make 3 agonizing in-water decompression stops totaling   35 minutes before I could reach the surface to begin my chamber dry   decompression. When I arrived at the surface, I was wearing nothing   but my brass helmet. As I climbed out of the water, the medic, with   tears of laughter running down his face, handed me a tube of cream and
told me to rub it on my ass as soon as I get in the chamber. The cream put   the fire out, but I couldn't shit for 2 days because my asshole was swollen shut.
So, next time you're having a bad day at work, think about how much worse   it would be if you had a jellyfish shoved up your ass!

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