Partners - Some Thoughts from Trisha
	For most TV's, just being TV is an incredibly important part of out lives. Its's our way of expressing a part of ourselves that most people will never see and, sadly, will never understand. But for most of us, it remains just that - a part of our lives and not the whole. Almost all of us have a 'Male' life as well, and I think that, generally speaking, for most of us somewhere in the middle of the gender divide, that's probably a healthy thing - it keeps us as well-rounded and balanced individuals. Personal relationships are, of course, inevitably part of that 'normal' life and so often it's the point at which out transvestism causes the greatest conflict. When a woman discovers her husband or boyfriend's female alter ego it can sadly lead to recrimination, anger, distress, and even separation.  But is that inevitable? I don't think so, not always. I think it can depend on the strength and depth of your relationship and also upon the degree to which you are both prepared to be honest and sensitive to each other's feelings. I'd like to say up front that this is not going to be all about 'You've got to tell your partner'. Coming from someone who didnt actually do so, that would be a pretty hypocritical stance to take. I don't have the right to offer that advice, and I don't have the right to stand in judgement on anyone who makes the choice not to 'come out'. There's no moral High Ground here as far as I'm concerned. I will say one thing though. If you don't 'come out', the likelyhood is that you'll get found out eventually.  I started dressing again eight years after Pen and I married and, as you'll know from my Bio pages, she found Trisha out about four years later. I only lasted that long because Pen had an above-average respect for personal privacy So, regardless of whether you've decided to tell your partner, or whether she's just found a pair of your knickers and wants to know what the hell is going on - what are you going to do? Now, I'm assuming at this point that she's actually still talking to you at all. Quite often it seems that the initial reaction is horror, disgust, anger, and distress. But let's talk about that later..... I think that the most important thing at this point and indeed subsequently is to be honest. Up until now, your relationship will have contained some element of deception and it's time to stop that. Forever. Remember that, from this point onwards, you're playing High Stakes Poker and that anything might happen in the next few months. All  relationships rely on Trust to survive and you'll have to rebuild that Trust. So, if you want the relationship to survive, you have to tell the truth or, at least, (and this is very important) as much of the truth as she wants to know. There's a horrible tendency when found out to fib a bit or leave things out, and yet there's also a sort of feeling of enormous relief that makes it terribly tempting to blurt everything out in one go. Either can be a bad idea, so do try to take things at her pace. Next