Two Heart Attacks
It only takes two heart attacks
to finally make you see
one of them won't do it
but the second will set you free
Tell all your hate and anger
it's time to say good bye
and that is just what I will do
as soon as those bastards I work for die
Lalalalalalalalalala!

- From 6-15 The One That Could Have Been

Little Black Curly Hair
I found you in my bed,
How'd you wind up there?
It's still a mystery,
Little black curly hair.
Little black, little black, little black, little black... little black curly hair.
- From 6-03 TOW Ross' Denial

Smelly Cat

Smelly cat, smelly cat, what are they feeding you?

Smelly cat, smelly cat, it's not your fault.

They won't take you to the vet.

You're obviously not their favourite pet.

You may not be a bed of roses,

And you're no friend to those with noses.

Smelly cat, smelly cat, what are they feeding you?

Smelly cat, smelly cat, it's not your fault.

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Two of Them Kissed Last Night

There was a girl, we'll call her Betty,

And a guy, let's call him Neil.

Now I can't stress this point too strongly, this story isn't real.

middle part missed out by show

Now our Neil must decide, who will be the girl that he casts aside?

Will Betty be the one who he loves truly? or will it be the one who we'll call L-Lulie?

He must decide, he must decide, even though I made him up he must decide
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Holiday Song

Went to the store, sat on Santa's lap Asked him to bring my friends all kinds of crap Said all you need is to write them a song Now you haven't heard it yet so don't try to sing along No don't sing along Monica, Monica, have a happy Hanukkah Saw Santa Claus, he said hello to Ross And please tell Joey, Christmas will be snowwwwwy And Rachel and Chandler, (mumbles something) handler!
[ To Hear The Song] [ To Download Song]

But Don't

There'll be times when you get older,

And you'll want to sleep with people,

Just to make them like you

BUT DON'T

Because that's another thing that you don't wanna do.....

The Barnyard Animal Song

Oh the cow in the meadow goes moo.

Oh the cow in the meadow goes moo.

Then the farmer hits him on the head and grinds him up,

And that's how we get hamburgers.
[ To Hear The Song] [ To Download Song]

The Bisexual Song

Sometimes men love women.

And sometimes men love men.

Then there are bisexuals, though some just say they're kidding themselves

What Happened To Grandma?

Now grandma's a person who everyone likes,

She bought you a train and a bright shiny bike.

But lately she hasn't been coming to dinner and last time you saw her she looked so much thinner.

Now your mom and your dad said she moved to Peru, but the truth is she died and someday you will too
[ To Hear The Song] [ To Download Song]

New York City Has No Power

New York City has no power,

And the milk is getting sour.

But to me this is not scary,

Cause I stay away from dairy

I'm In The Shower

I'm in the shower and I'm writing a song

Stop me if you've heard it.

My skin is soapy and my hair is wet

And Tegrin spelled backward is Nirget.

(pause, while Phoebe plays guitar)

Lather, rinse, repeat. Lather, rinse, repeat. Lather, rinse, repeat,

As needed!!!
[ To Hear The Song] [ To Download Song]

Suicide and a Snowman

I made a man with eyes of coal and a smile so bewitchin'.

How was I supposed to know that my mom was dead in the kitchen?

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