Evil, Except Not
Valerie (Texas): I would have much rather had [Heidi] than Jon...can't you give her another chance to enter? PLEASE Aaron, PLEASE???
These were from Round 6 confessionals, but they tie in neatly to Round 7. There was no nomination question, true. And we are giving Heidi another chance. (I frequently used the term 'removed from the game' at Bainbridge Island. I never said anything about exiling anyone.) But it's not random. I asked Heidi who she'd like to face. Didn't tell her for what, but she was asked who she thought she could beat. She picked Valerie. And I got an earful. Of course I forgot to save any of it to put here. Same with Jon's revelation that he was keeping VERY detailed statistics. Much more detailed than mine. It got to the point where I asked him if maybe I could get a copy for the final round. No, seriously. Anyway, Heidi and Valerie went to the Big Brother house to perform the same challenge Eric and Amy did in BB3: Groveling for votes to get (or stay, in Val's case) on the roster. David hadn't voted yet; he needed time, but...
David (New Jersey) : well, going by pure self-interest, I'd have to choose Heidi. No stones, lower tie-breaker than even me... and that tie-breaker is going to be put to use at some point.
Maybe in Las Vegas. Or not. I decided to play another prank on my contestants. I devised the most evil challenge I could think of. I'd give players 3 days to thoroughly screw each other and hate each other, then I would wait for the inevitable "I can't believe you made us do that!" At which point I would say "Who said I made you do anything? I was just wondering." There was no actual challenge scheduled, just one big prank. I had to construct the "challenge" description VERY carefully to avoid commitment to anything, and also to strip away all references to a challenge in Vegas, or else someone might hold me to the challenge results. Something I did not want to do. So I couched every word around "what if"'s and "shouldn't I"'s and "maybe"'s. I committed to nothing. A smart contestant would catch the lesson I taught the players back in L.A. about listening to my choice of words, realize the trap laid out to get players to screw each other, and just sit back and not do anything.
Colin wasn't smart, but he wasn't stupid either.
Colin (Rhode Island): So uhhhhh, I know this is a really stupid thing to ask, but is this the challenge?
This one was dangerous to answer. The correct answer was no, it wasn't, there was no challenge, but that would be going against my plan if I said no. And if I said yes, I'd get held to results. So I dodged the question, answering "You're right. That was a stupid question." I didn't commit to a yes or no, but made it seem as if I said yes. And I still had to couch the answers to 'challenge' clarification questions in weasel words.
In other words, I had willingly put myself in a position that would drive most hosts insane, where one infinitesimal slip would blow my cover. Meanwhile, everyone else seemed to be falling in line...
JP math nut (Jon, PA): dude
JP math nut: aaron must suffer a painful death
JP math nut: control that is
ValSharAdams (Valerie, TX): let's like let loose a computer virus
JP math nut: we all gotta make a pact here
JP math nut: winner gets to turn the tables
JP math nut: and kill mr. allerman
ValSharAdams: I'll supply the machetes
Ah, that's more like it. Except for the whole plotting-mutiny-on-the-host part. I recieved one more scare, from Devon. He asked me point-blank whether the challenge was real. I asked why he asked, fishing for something. Turns out he was curious because he had suggested this in confessionals.
At the end of the three days, I let everyone off the hook. I managed overall to fool 4 people.
Devon (Louisiana): I was the only one who truly knew it was a conspiracy! I was so convinced, I never tried to steal a safety stone, and only once tried to post a convo, thinking "What the heck, if its real then I'll get something out of it, and if its not, I'm bound to lose less than everybody else." So you can say you jerked around everybody--EXCEPT ME! :D
David (New Jersey): Completely not surprised. Like Mark Burnett's faux editing, there are only so times you can throw a curveball before you start half-expecting the curveball.
Next stop: Dugway Proving Grounds in Utah. This was a Bus Stop round, meaning no matter what, Aaron was at risk of exile.
But who to face him? That's for the exile to decide. And that meant I had to dive into the stats from Vegas, which I didn't care about up till now, to see what I could find. The depth chart fell like this, pretty much: Colin/David (basically a tie), Jon, Aaron, Devon, Valerie. Add this to previous rounds, and David, Jon and Colin were in a virtual tie for first. Complete and utter logjam. Thank God I wasn't worrying about first. I was worried about last, which Valerie looked to have, except for the win in Los Angeles. Granted, it's a one-on-one vote that's out of her control, but I figured the audience would see it as a win nonetheless. Aaron I had going 4th. Normally he'd be out of danger, but it's a Bus Stop that he 'won' the right back in Gary to compete in.
Safety Stones were starting to come in at a slightly accelerated rate, Aaron using 3. Of course, seeing as this was a Bus Stop, and he had to play in Bus Stops, those 3 stones might just as well have been thrown in the toilet. Had he splurged and used 7 more, he'd have been fine. He'd have been inoculated and I couldn't touch him. Devon, meanwhile, despite being at risk at this point, was confident to a point, as well as spookily accurate about what was about to happen.
Devon (Louisiana): I'm taking this game piece by piece. The first piece was to reach round five, the second piece was to be in the final five, which hopefully I'll acheive. And after that, I'm going to start playing the game Round by Round...and after Val and Aaron have left (assuming they do like my gut tells me), nobody will be my only friend.
And David, well...
David (New Jersey): I suspect Devon is going to win it all. I'll start focusing on keeping that from happening.
At the actual exile, Jon could not catch a break as every person below him used Safety Stones. All but Valerie passed him. Had Aaron not been an automatic for the Bus Stop, this would be a problem. But Aaron was, and despite being in 2nd place, he'd face Valerie in a do-or-die situation. They played a game of Hot Potato with a grenade. They didn't know when it'd blow (only I knew and it was predetermined), person holding the grenade when it blew... well, that's fairly predictable. The only other thing they knew was that the grenade would blow automatically if it stayed in one person's possession for 24 consecutive hours. They had to post their tosses on the boards so the other would know they had it. This led to interesting messages:
Valerie (Texas): oh, you know you want it...*tosses back to Aaron*
Aaron (Arizona): as tempting as blowing up might be.. ::throws it back to Val::
Valerie: just in case...*throw to Aaron*
Aaron: Woohoo! Hot pota... er grenade. Anyone seen the part in X2 where Magneto pulls out all the pins in the grenades? That was sweet! ::throws to Val::
Valerie: Aaron Aaron Aaron, you know you want to explode into a million little pieces of blond Texan...catch! *throws to Aaron*
Aaron: But... but... but... I'm allergic to death! ::throws to Val::
Valerie: have a nice allergic reaction then! *toss*
Aaron: Don't think so. ::throws it back to Val::
Valerie: yeah...RIGHT...*toss to Aaron* have a nice funeral
Aaron: I already got the flowers picked out for your grave! :;tosses it back to Val::
Valerie: Yeah, the white daisies sure look pretty on a headstone marked "Aaron Lee" *toss to Aaron*
Aaron: Well lookie here, I found some yellow roses for yours! Everyone sing with me! ::throws back to Val::
Grenade: Boom.
You heard the grenade. Valerie was holding it at the time, and that was the end for her.
5 contestants, 4 rounds.