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| My Little Whispers... |
| Wednesday, September 19, 2001 You'd think that everything would grind to a halt for weeks maybe even months after last Tuesday… but it's only been a week and the world is moving on to a (hopefully) better tomorrow… I'm not as upset. Going into work, talking to people, etc. has helped bring me back to some semblance of normalcy... I'm still undecided as to whether or not it's a good idea to go ahead with my trip to New York next week. I don't know what's going on with our flights. I think my flight will be fine but I'm wondering if Dave's will be. He's flying a two-leg flight with ATA from San Francisco - need I say more? So there's a distinct possibility that I'll be in NY without him which isn't acceptable. At least the hotel situation is under control. We're at the Hilton at the Rockefeller Center for the first night and even though I booked a room at a non-refundable rate they're waiving that policy so I can cancel that morning if we get screwed on our flights. I just have to remember that the reservations desk doesn't seem to know anything about this and that I'll have to go to customer relations. Bureaucracy is fun. The bed and breakfast wasn't so easy to work around which is totally understandable. The owner didn't want to let go of his one-week cancellation policy. He also didn't want to acknowledge that a lot of airlines were cutting down their flights; he told me to call the airlines which of course I already tried but they're not handling any calls for flights outside of the next 48 hours. I finally managed to sell him on the solution that if anyone miraculously calls for the nights I have reserved he'd call me and I'd immediately make the decision whether or not to cancel. I had to patiently repeat it to him several times but I think he finally listened to my proposition after figuring out that I wasn't buying his bs that he'll have people who'll want rooms next week. I'm sympathetic but I'm not going to let him manipulate me. So that's the logistical stuff. There's also the issue of appropriateness. Dave and I feel like that it'd be disrespectful to fly into NY as gawking tourists kinda like those annoying people on the freeway who slow down to check out an accident. But we could be the patriotic little consumers and spend our money there… I don't know. Yesterday was kinda sorta interesting. I went to an all-day training seminar for work called "Situational Self Leadership." All that talk about empowerment was getting to me (along with the role playing exercises *gag*) but I did learn a few interesting things. The one that surprised me most is that most of the activities I value are things I do with other people. I know I give the image that I'm an extrovert because I'm a tad spazzy when I'm around people but deep down inside I thought of myself as an introvert. Why? Because I enjoy walks along the beach alone; I prefer shopping by myself (second opinions are over-rated); I don't mind eating alone in a restaurant. So I assumed that the majority of my favorite activities would be solitary ones but I was wrong. Case in point: I played spades last night with Lindsay, Marshall and Rong out in Elmhurst until midnight. I really should buy some shares in Starbucks. Friday, September 14, 2001, 3:05 pm Another somber day. I went to one of the downtown memorial services at the Pioneer Court (next to the Tribune building) with Mira and Amy. People were once again streaming from their buildings but this time towards the outdoor services. You could feel the sadness and the… determination? hope? courage, perhaps? I don't know how to describe it but there was something positive beyond the pain. By the time we got there, a lot of people were carrying little flags. Someone probably handed them out just a few minutes ago. I could see pictures of American flags with white crosses centered on them pasted onto the windows of the Tribune building. Noon rolled around and an expectant silence spread among the crowd. Someone eventually addressed the crowd and we took a moment of silence for prayer. A couple minutes later a woman sang "God Bless America" and we all joined in. Over the speakers, we could hear people chanting at the Daley Center, "USA! USA! USA!" I'm afraid I'm not much of a chanter so I didn't join in but a handful of people did. The pledge of allegiance was solemnly recited and a few more songs were played… I think this was the order of events. How did I feel? I was encouraged that so many people gathered together but it made me sadder. Surrounded by strangers, the preciousness of life was so evident. Every one of these people mean so much to someone. Every one of these people have dreams. So sad that so many people had their lives cut short in a show of "power." Monday, September 11, 2001 Hijacked planes flew into each tower of the World Trade Center this morning. Minutes later, a plane crashed into the Pentagon. Shortly after, both of the WTC towers completely collapsed within minutes of each other. And then a fourth plane crashed nearby Pittsburgh failing to complete its insidious goal. What horrific, surreal events! I walked into my office totally clueless of the WTC disaster. My elation at finding the normally packed Starbucks completely empty was quickly replaced with disbelief and an emotional numbness as I listened to Carol's radio blaring out updates that just got more sickening as the minutes passed. From my Michigan Avenue office building, Mira and I watched people streaming out onto the streets away from the skyscrapers of Chicago's beautiful skyline now seen as traps of concrete, glass and steel. She and I talked about the surrealness of all of this when she noticed that her voicemail indicator light was on. We listened to a message from our CEO that we may leave if we feel uncomfortable with the situation. That sparked a few remarks around the office. "What a jerk!" "I bet he didn't even come in this morning." I guess I could understand that he didn't want to perpetuate a mad frenzied exodus but I couldn't help but silently commiserate with my co-workers. The Blue line was running on a rush hour schedule so I was back at my apartment around 10am and flipped on the tv. I had to watch the images a few times before it sank in that this wasn't some sick joke. I was overwhelmed with this need to make sure everyone I knew was ok. I called my parents out in California thanking God that they live in remote little Yucaipa. I called Dave's apartment cursing myself for not getting his work number but he was safe at home, too. We chatted for a bit speculating what would be the next target. He's out in San Francisco so he was thinking that the Golden Gate Bridge would be a likely target. For sure, LAX in LA. Then we remembered that we're going to NYC at the end of this month. I wanted to go in early September. I briefly thought what if Dave had been on one of those planes… thank God, it was just a "what if." |
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