THE CARPENTER
The lamest tagline I've ever seen, but the movie's a hoot
Even before looking at the back cover, my first thought at seeing this title was "How long until a nailgun comes into play?" (answer: ten minutes, fifty-eight seconds)
Don't let the silly, unimaginative tagline put you off ("He Builds Terror"? What the hell is that?) - The Carpenter is a goofy, often hilarious flick that's firmly in the vein of The Dentist, and thus a winner in my book. It's Canadian, so yes, it does go a little ways towards atoning for Glass Tiger.
The movie stars a tremendously appealing Lynne Adams as a housewife who, after a breakdown-inspired visit to the cracker factory, moves into a "fixer-upper" country house with her philandering husband. And there's a phantom carpenter there (that's what I said, a phantom carpenter) who takes the role of her protector (you know things are off-kilter when he saws off the arms of a window framer who comes on to her too strong, and she just stands there, kind of slightly amused).
It's got its gory moments - a very young-looking Wings Hauser plays the titular woodworker (with a hell of a work ethic) has a lot of fun with, say, stapling a guy's eyes shut, or sticking a circular saw in someone's face, or just poking a guy again and again with his drill. It's not really a gore flick, but there's a few icky moments.
The ending is a bit of a letdown, I have to confess. I don't care if it makes sense, it just looks silly to see two women pounding the shit out of a...wall. But most of the movie is a real hoot, and worth a look if you're in the mood for this sort of thing.