ELVES
Feeble and pathetic
Not only do I not like "South Park", but I hold it somewhat in contempt. Oh, the overwhelming stupidity doesn't bother me - I like stupid humor as much as the next guy. It's the fact that it thinks it's so cutting-edge, so daring, so "Bad" (that's bad as in good)...when really, it's tame and unwilling to risk offending on any level that really matters, always pulling back before things might get good. (note - since the writing of this review I've learned to hack the TV show, because the movie won me over)
I hold movies like Silent Night, Deadly Night in a bit of the same contempt, although they do a bit of a better job. Wouldn't SN,DN have been much, MUCH better if it actually WAS Santa killing people, instead of some wacko who just thought he was? Of course. But the filmmakers chickened out.
Same thing happened here. You'd think that a movie about killer elves around Christmas would have something to do with, well, Santa's little helpers, right? No, this is about a silly Nazi plot to crossbreed elves and virgins to create the master race. This one stars Grizzly Adams as a chain-smoking department-store Santa and Julie Austin as the oldest-looking teenager I've ever seen. Grizzly's sad-eyed expression throughout the film deftly illustrates how depressingly desperate this guy must have been to take this role.
Unbelievably badly written and directed (some shots look like they were SOV, and some dialogue is mumbled and inaudible),by Jeff Mandel, who, as justice would have it, never worked in that town again. Best worst bit of dialogue (and believe me, this is it):
WILL: Are we going to be all right?
CHICK: No, Will. Gramps is a Nazi.
Features the most obvious body double since The Deadly Intruder, and the lamest shootout since Deadly Reactor. And the elf (yeah, singular) is a really lousy animatronic contraption which would have looked a zillion times better as a midget in makeup. If you're given a choice between seeing this movie and whacking yourself in the nuts with a ball-peen hammer, I beg of you - think about it.