Return to Bermudas Index
Chapter 1: Downsizing
Chapter 2: Plonek
Chapter 3: New Job Offer
Chapter 4: Reconnaisance
Chapter 5: No Matches Found
Chapter 6: Revelations
Chapter 7: Jool
Chapter 8: Spare Parts
Chapter 9: Garbagemen, Part 1
Chapter 10: Garbagemen, Part 2
"Erathran Plonek!" I said, "I'm alone! I've got a present for you!"
Plonek, that stupid Scarran, stepped out from behind a cryopod.
"Grunchlk. Where is Scorpius?" He inquires. For all the life in me, I wanted to tell Plonek where Scorpius was, but that bloody chip he stuck in my head prevented it.
"He's not here," I say instead.
"Then why did you release me?"
"Well, I've got someone almost as good, John Crichton," I, or, rather, Scorpius, figured this would be a good way to distract the Scarran's attention. "You know who that is?"
"Yes. Scorpius seems obsessed with him. We want to know why."
"Why don't you ask him?" I could barely believe what was happening. They haven't even paid me, yet. Surely, Scorpius would be able to understand that, "He's in the surgery room, recovering." Nope. Guess not.
Suddenly, Plonek extended his hand and activated his finger-death-ray thing on me!
"No, no!" The Scorpius inside me said as Plonek began his interrogation.
"Are you lying? Is this a trap?"
"No, no, no. No trap," oddly, I felt somewhat safe in the knowledge that Scorpius was actually saving my life.
"Where is Scorpius?"
"Scorpius isn't here, I told you. But I'm sure he's on his way back to the planet to capture Crichton!"
"Who is with Crichton?"
I could feel my skin beginning to bubble at this point. I really hope that was the last question. "Just a Luxan, and a Banik slave!"
Thankfully, Plonek turned off the finger-death-ray. But things got from bad to worse when he grabbed my neck and lifted me right off the ground.
"I might have use for you later," he says, then he stuffs me in a cryopod and turns it on. I start screaming.
***
My name is Grunchlk (I'm frozen), an entrepreneur (stuck in a cryopod) in some distant part of the universe. (I'm trying to pass the time.) Inside this pod (an active pod) on a medical facility (my friend's). If you can hear me (take care)... if I make it out (will they notice?) If you open the door... (am I ready?) The pod could be unprepared (active) for rejuvination. Or should I stay (stuck in the pod), unable to (move). But then you'll never know (my stories) again.
Presenting "Purpose to Existence", a story by Agent 30d954A.
Based on the television show, "Farscape."
(Farscape and it's characters do not belong to me, nor to I make any attempt to influence people into believing that they do.
I'm continually forced to stare out the little window in the pod, and I can't help but remember the circumstances that compelled me to freeze that Scarran in the first place.
"Grunchlk! Why is there a Scarran here?" The Diagnosan said, in his standard voice, while walking into my office. "I thought I told you that I had a 'No Scarrans' policy around here."
"Yes, Doc, well... you just leave the Scarran to me. I'll find out what he wants and then send him on his way."
The doc agreed and went back to the surgical facility to perform a routine check on that see-through-skull machine.
I went into the waiting room and saw the Scarran sitting at the table. He got up and began to walk towards me.
"My name is Erathran Plonek, and I have an offer for you."
"Splendid!" I said, knowing that being kind to Scarrans keeps them from getting angry and ripping your arm off.
"Our sources say that this is the place where a half-breed named Scorpius had a cooling system installed."
"Yes, that's right. I remember that chap. Came in with his mom. He was a real nasty baby. Comes in here from time to time to get a checkup for the cooling system," I said.
"Yes, well, we have to arrest him. Now, I will give you fifteen-thousand krepmas if you inform me when he shows up for the next checkup. If not, I'll just kill you right here. Do we have a deal?" Right! Always to the point, those Scarrans.
"Of course we have a deal! In fact, I have a better idea. Why don't you come with me," I said, and started walking in the direction of the freezing room.
Plonek followed me to the freezing room. I walked towards the empty pod in the far corner of the room. Plonek asked what that was for.
"It's for freezing bodies. See, here's what I want to do: I freeze you until Scorpius shows up again, and then I thaw you out, and you can take him."
"Suprisingly, fulsome Grunchlk, that actually sounds like a good idea."
"Splendid! Just hop into the pod, there. I'll take care of the rest."
Plonek climbed into the cryopod. Once he was inside, I told him to close his eyes, and then I closed the door. I turned on the cryomachine and set it for an automatic deep freeze. As I started walking around the cryopod, I noticed Plonek didn't close his eyes. Oops, I thought, well, he's gonna have a fun time staring at the wall!
I walked back into my splendid office and was about to sit down when the Doc entered.
"Grunchlk, have you gotten rid of that Scarran yet?" he said.
"Yes, doc, I told him about our 'No Scarrans' policy and sent him on his way. Real shame, though. He offered us 15,000 krepmas."
"Really?" said the Doc. He looked amazed that a Scarran would actually have that much money with him. "Well, thanks for getting rid of him. Ever since Scorpius showed up, I've been trying to avoid Scarrans."
"Right, doc, I know. You've told me several times before."
"Yeah, I know, it's just that I don't want to take any--"
Movement jolted me from my train of thought. I look out the window of the cryopod and see several beings standing around outside it. The window of the cryopod had fogged up due to the cold, so everything outside was sort of a vague blur. Even so, I could make out one of the beings pointing at the pod I'm in. I also hear some muffled voices, but they were too far away to hear clearly.
Pretty soon, three of the beings disappear. I realize that they are behind the pod because it started shaking--or, rather, the wall I could see appeared to be shaking--as if it's being loaded onto a conveyor. Sure enough, the pod is being loaded onto a conveyor. Someone is taking me out of the storage room!
Right after that, I get loaded onto the ship. The light entering the cryopod through the little window goes from being bright and white to dark and red. The three Peacekeepers--as I now know who they are, due to the large amount of red decor on this ship I'm on--stick me in a large, open room with a loud door. I know that the door is loud, because I could distinctly hear it close as they left.
The little window on the cryopod is directly below a bright red light, that illuminates the interior of the hold, as well as the interior of the cryopod. Everything I look at, now, had a red hue. The hold's door itself is of the metallic variety, with your standard Peacekeeper locks on it. Even if I could activate the restoration process from the inside of the cryopod, I wouldn't be able to get out. So I just decide to count pelkrinos jumping over a barrier in my mind to pass the time. 1... 2... 3... 4...
102... 103... 104... 105... you know, I wonder why everyone seems to hate Scarrans so much. The few I've known into weren't so bad. Except for Plonek. He was a real piece of kretawda. But seriously. I think that Scarrans basically have a bad reputation, which they probably got from the Peacekeepers. Aw, frell! I lost count. Well, might as well start over again. 1... 2... 3...
512... 513... 514... 515... this notion of counting was quickly dispersed as I see the door to my cell swing open. Three people walk into the cell. The first is some nameless Peacekeeper soldier, the second is that wosler Braca, and the third is Scorpius. As soon as Scorpius walks in here, I begen to get worried that he is going to turn up the froster in the pod high enough to cause me to die.
I had just noticed the familiar lighted monocle Scorpius was wearing when I hear his voice in my head. "Now, Grunchlk, there's no need to worry. Why..." he pauses again. What is it with this guy and his pauses? "... there was nobody else alive in the Diagnosan's facility when we picked you up. If it wasn't for me, you'd be stuck there, and nobody would ever find you. You should be thanking me..." Another pause. "... for saving your life."
Then, he indicates to Braca to deactivate the machine. Braca motions to two guards outside the cell, who promptly come in with their pulse rifles drawn. Braca then calls forth a scientist--as he evidently doesn't know how to work the machine himself--and tells the scientist to turn off the machine.
The scientist works for a while, and I suddenly hear the unmistakable noise of cold air being exposed to warm air. Soon after, I feel my body temperature begin to increase. A few hundred microts after that, Braca opens the door of the pod, and the two guards with the pulse rifles stand rigidly, pointing them at me. I slowly get out of the pod, which had been leaning against the back wall of the hold all this time.
Once I get out of the pod, Scorpius puts his arm around my shoulders and leads me out of the cargo hold.
"Thanks for savin' my life, Scorpius," I said, trying not to make him angry. We're walking down a narrow hallway, dark and red.
"Think nothing of it, Grunchlk," he said, and paused again, "For you are now my prisoner. And I have some... very important experiments... that you will be involved in."
"Splendid," I said, totally without believing it. We entered a cell block. Scorpius led me to a small cell, which the guards opened. I walked in there, and Scorpius and Braca and two guards followed.
"Just be thankful that there is once again a purpose to your existence," Scorpius said with an evil little grin while leaving the room. Braca and those two guards followed suit. When all of the Peacekeepers were absent, the door closed and locked.
"Great," I said to myself, appreciating the ability to talk again. "Of all the places in the world to be unfrozen in, I had to be unfrozen on Scorpius's Command Carrier." I sighed.
"Hah. Enjoying my stay? Right. You don't even have any chairs in the cell. And when am I gonna get my lunch?"
Scorpius responds by showing me that bizarre monocle from before. I knew what that was for, so I stop complaining.
"Come on, Grunchlk, it's fime for your first job!"
"No, I'm not going," I protest. Suddenly, I feel a familiar force controlling my movements. Scorpius is commanding my brain again. We exit the cell, and walk down the cell corridor. No guards are following us; I guess that it was because they knew what the monocle was for as well. At the end of the corridor is an elevator, whose doors were already open. I sort of resented the fact that, not like usual, I didn't have to wait for the elevator to arrive. Scorpius enters the elevator, and I follow. Once inside, I see him push the button marked "Research lab." The elevator begins to move.
Within microts, we reach what apparently is the Research Lab. As the elevators open, I am amazed about how white this room is. Every surface is brightly lit with white lights, as opposed to the usual reds and blacks that you see on Peacekeeper ships. The lab itself is basically a long, wide hallway, with a walkway near the left side. To the left of the walkway is a row of computer terminals--powerful ones--with Peacekeeper technicians working on them. To the left of the walkway is--and this is why this side covers more area than the other--a large field-test site for items that the terminals on the other side develop. Scorpius stops moving and looks about the lab.
"It's beautiful, isn't it?" Scorpius says to me, referring to the lab. "Articulately constructed for all of my research needs," he says. I just nod. "Over there," he says, motioning to the left, "We have clusters of computers examining the information I collected from Crichton's mind. Those computers calculate the equations, and feed them to the life-science people over there," he points to the right. "The life-scientists take the equations and build machines that utilize those equations to create what are essentially wormholes, which are tested on the far end of the field."
"It's a real nice lab, sir," is all I could think to say in response
"Yes, Grunchlk, it is," he says, and pauses again. "But, like I said before, you have work to do." Scorpius begins moving toward the doors on the other end of the lab. It takes a while to get there, due to the length of the room that the lab is housed in. Eventually, however, we make it to the doors, which open automatically. How convenient, I thought. The new room beyond the doors is much like every other room on this ship--black walls and red lighting--except for one feature: In the center of this room, on a raised platform, is a rather odd-looking chair connected by thick tubes to a green screen. The chair is on one "edge" of the circular platform, and the screen is directly opposite the chair, on the other "edge". Scorpius points to the chair, and says, "This is what your new job is."
"No, no," Scorpius pauses, "I don't want you to fix my chair." He pauses again. "I want you to sit in it."
Suddenly, I start thinking that this job might not be as bad as I, and Scorpius, had originally led me to believe. I saunter over to the chair's platform, and step up. Then, I walk over to the chair and I sit down. As soon as I've sat down, and put my arms on the arm rests, buckles appear and lock me to the chair.
"Hey, you never told me about these!" I say.
"I didn't have to," Scorpius said, smiling, "It's part of the job. You see, Grunchlk, you are going to be my new test subject for this device, which I call an 'Aurora Chair'. Remember that Banik slave who was with Crichton back in your facility? He used to have your job, but he quit. And since he quit, nobody has volunteered to be my test subject. Can you believe that? So, when I found you, I automatically volunteered you."
"Oh, I see. Look, Scorpius, it's a nice chair and everything, but I'm not really cut out for this sort of job. You saw that Banik, how he always wore that mask? That means he's a Stykera, you know... he can do stuff that I can't. I really don't think I'd be a good test subject for you, can I please go back to my cell?"
"Oh, Grunchlk, why so afraid? You don't even know what this chair does? Do you want to know?" Not waiting for an answer, he continues on, "It works in three stages. Stage 1: It maps out your neural pathways, figures out where your memories are stored. Stage 2: It charts those memories into a catagorized database. Stage 3: It broadcasts a selected memory on to the green screen you see in front of you. Of course, the last chair I had was on the Gammak Base that Crichton destroyed. I have since made much improvements to the design."
He walked over to what was obviously the control console for the Aurora Chair. A female Peacekeeper was behind the console. Scorpius told her to activate the chair. At once, the chair began to spin around rather fast. It was disorienting.
"After my original Aurora Chair was destroyed, I had time to contemplate the advantages to a more modern design. You know, the last person to use the chair was Crichton? And obviously, it didn't work. If it did, there'd be no reason for the chip, and you wouldn't be here right now. Anyway, I noticed that the first design for the chair required it to spin around in a counterclockwise direction. I realized that this spinning served absolutely no purpose, and whatever purpose it did solve was rendered null due to the counterclockwise spinning. Never mind how slow it spun."
His mentioning of the spinning causes me to notice that the chair I am in is spinning fast, and clockwise.
"So, to solve that engineering flaw, I hired some new engineers. Let's not go into what happened to the old ones, eh? Anyway, the new engineers designed this chair to continue the notion of the spin, only this design actually utilizes the energy produced by the productive, speedy clockwise spin, and it redirects that energy in the neural-pathway-mapping systems. So, to put it in simple terms so that your feeble brain could understand: The new design is superior to the old design," he paused for a couple of microts, "in every way."
I begin to say something in response, when a hand motion from Scorpius cuts me off. This particular motion was a signal to the control console operator to begin Stage 1 of the chair's operation. Suddenly, I feel a rather large amount of pain, and I see my own memories display on the green screen. I know from experience that the pain of this chair is only slightly less than the pain of biting my own finger off. Scorpius walks over to the control console operator and says something to her, which I presume is a list of items of which to scan through my memory for. The control console operator inputs some data into the console, and then she pushes a lever to the edge of the slot. The pain level increases so that it's slightly greater than that of biting my finger off. This is when I start screaming.
The pain blurs all conscious thought, and things just begin to get vague. Until one shining moment when the pain goes away. The chair stops spinning, and the screen returns to it's normal green hue. Scorpius turned it off. "What did you just do to me?" I ask Scorpius, now that I'm finally able to form coherent thoughts.
"I examined your mind, Grunchlk. You see, it's obvious that you made a deal with Plonek, and I wanted to know if he told you anything that could be of use to me. And also, to see if you had any other memories of Scarrans. Anything I could use in the," pause, "great war," he said with extra emphasis. "However, aside from the encounter with Plonek, I couldn't find anything of actual use. So, I'm going to test out the 'duration' feature of this machine now." He signaled to the female Peacekeeper again, and I felt the machine turn on. I also noticed it begin to spin. "I've set it to the lowest level," he says, "to make sure it can stay on for a long time without being damaged."
"Well, how long do you think I could stand in this machine," I asked Scorpius.
"That's not important, Grunchlk," he replied.
Suddenly, I hear the sound of the door to the Aurura Chair chamber open. Unfortunately, the chair's platform is facing away from the door, so I can't immediately see who entered. However, when the chair platform finally turns around, I see Scorpius standing next to the door, watching the chair spin.
"Hello, Grunchlk," he says.
"Hello, sir," I respond.
"As you may have noticed, the guards in this room are gone. That's why I'm here. You see, you're my prisoner, and my test subject, and you're in my chair. So, I want to see just how specific the search capabilities of this chair can get."
I sigh and don't respond. Scorpius walks over to the chair's control console. He starts typing some data on the keypad at the console, and then he pushes the lever all the way to the edge. The chair platform spins faster, and the pain level increases. Obviously, the chair is working. On the screen, I see a series of flashes of Nebari, from that time when I was a tour guide. Then, all at once, the green returns to the screen, the chair's spinning slows, and the pain deadens.
"That's good," Scorpius says, "I told the machine to search for Nebari in your mind, and it did so quite accurately. Now for my next test."
He types in some more data, and then turns the chair on again. This time, though, the green doesn't vanish. Whatever Scorpius is searching for this time, it isn't in my mind. Or so I thought.
Quickly, a video flashes on the screen, and a voice says, "... wormhole theories are real, and I can prove it now!"
Scorpius, suprised, stops the playback on the machine. The chair's clockwise rotation stops, but the video remains on the screen, and the pain remains in my brain. "Grunchlk," he says, "who is that?"
"Uh...," I pause, trying to remember, "I'm not quite sure, sir."
Scorpius nods, and pushes another button on the console. The chair immediately begins to spin in a counter clockwise direction, and the video and it's sound accompaniment play back in reverse. In a matter of microts, Scorpius puts the chair on "play" again. The rotation reassumes it's clockwise spin.
***
"Are you really just going to throw your life away chasing after your precious 'wormholes'? a female voice said.
"Look, I understand your position on this, but I disagree," the male from the video coughed for a microt or two, then resumed speaking, "all the research I've done on the subject has told me one thing: Wormhole theories are real, and I can prove it now!" he said, getting excited. The excitement subdued when he coughed again.
Finally taking note of the caughing, the orange-haired female said, "OK, by now I should realize that you are a stubborn oaf. They must teach that at that school of yours... why are you coughing like that?"
"Oh, a friend of mine dragged me to one of his archaelogical sites because he needed my help or something--"
"You don't mean Idwit, do you?" the female interrupted.
"Yeah, he's not that smart, you know, and he needed me to examine some of the ancient writing in the Dimordis Tomb. Unfortunately, I think there was some kind of contageon loose on the planet, and Idwit and I got really sick, hence the coughing," he said, and coughed some more.
"Yeah," I said, "They were customers of mine back when I ran a tourism business on the side"
"Oh," Scorpius says, "and how do they know about wormholes?"
"I don't know. They're called Interons, and they're supposed to be from some really intelligent planet. The orange-haired one was taking one of my multi-civilization tours when the other two showed up looking for her."
"Other two?" He points to the screen, "There's only one here, where's the other one?"
"The other one, Idwit, was wandering around, and he, uh... wandered into one of the doc's cryopods, and the door shut and the pod was activated. The other two met the same fate, strangely enough."
"Ah," Scorpius nodded and turned on the machine again.
***
"Stanis! Why didn't you tell me you got infected with some kind of virus as soon as you got here?"
"Well, Jool, you know I was about to, and I would have if you didn't start mocking my life's work," he says.
"Oh, please," the female said, "Wormholes are *not* a life's work. They're a hobby, and that's what they should always be. And don't call me 'Jool'. You've been spending too much time with Idwit."
"Whatever, Jool," he said just to spite her, "Do you know where the nearest doctor is?"
Jool gasps and says, "Yeah! This place is a doctor's office, too! He's one of those joint-building type places. Come on, let's go find the doctor."
I was in the hallway doing checks on the cryopods when I heard them talking, and I stopped to listen. Then I notice the female--Jool--getting up and walking down the hallway, with Stanis following. I walk further down the hallway and say, "Hey there, girl. Remember me? I run the multi-civ tours, you know? Well, I heard your conversation, and I'm partners with the finest doctor in the Uncharted Territories, and I'd be glad to take you and your... friend, to him."
"Cousin," she snaps, "he's my cousin. And as much as I'd hate to go anywhere with you, I guess it's the only way," she says.
So I took her and her cousin to the Diagnosan's office, and introduced them to each other.
"Grunchlk, who are these two kids?" asked the Diagnosan.
"Well, doc, this one," I said, indicating the female, "is named Jool. She's from a very wealthy family. This one," I said, indicating the male, "is Stanis. He's Jool's cousin. He got infected with some kind of virus, and he needs a checkup.
"O... K... come... with... me," said the Diagnosan in his "translatable" voice. Me and Jool and Stanis followed him into the operating room. Once inside, I switched on the bio-neutralizers. Once the doc noticed they were on, he took off his mask.
"Dear Chanu, what the hezmana are you?" asked Jool, indicating the Diagnosan. Apparently, she's never seen anything like him before.
"His name is Tocot. He's a healer by trade, a Diagnosan. His nose is very sensitive. If any particle, even the really small ones, got into his nose and his mouth at the same time, he'd die. That's what these lights are for. When these lights are on, the bio-neutralizer is active. Then he can take off the mask safely."
"Oh," Jool said, "and his heightened senses are what makes him such a good doctor?"
"Exactly," I say.
"What?" Jool responded.
"Well, see, your cousin here is infected with this virus, see, and we don't know how far it spread. You could be infected too, for all we know. This is just your standard precaution," I said.
"Look, I'm not sick. I think I'd know if I were sick. After all, I'm smarter than you! Besides, I'm not coughing."
"Well, you may be smarter than me, girl, but I guarantee that you are not smarter than him. If he says you could be sick, then you could be sick, now get on the table!"
Jool sighed, "I don't know why I'm letting you do this. I know I'm not sick, and I know that's what any test you perform will yield the same result," she said as she was being secured to the table.
"Yeah, yeah," I said.
"OK, Grunchlk, tell them that I'm going to be administering the anesthetic now," said Tocot.
"The doc says he's gonna be giving you the anesthetic now."
"Oh, no, is this going to hurt?" asked Jool.
"Uh... no, it's not going to hurt that much."
"All right, then," I said, and activated the anesthetic-dispensing machine. At once, a needle entered Jool's and Stanis's arms. Jool started screaming.
Tocot and I both covered our ears in a feeble attempt to block out that scream. I bet that scream could melt metal if there were any metal in here to melt! Luckily for the ears of everyone involved, the drugs started to kick in, and Jool and Stanis were knocked out. Thank Chilnack for small favors, eh?
Tocot said, "OK, I finished up the checkups, and this one," he indicated Jool," is relatively healthy. I'm not so sure about that scream. This one, however," he indicated Stanis, "has caught a very dangerous virus. I don't know how to cure him of it, but I do know someone who does. I'll contact them tonight." Upon finishing this sentence, Tocot began to gether his tools and he walked over to the sterilizer.
"Splendid, doc," I said, and waited for the doc to finish cleaning his doctor tools, and then I waited for him to leave. Once he left, I checked on the patients. Both still unconscious; good. I lifted Jool off of that surgical table, and put her on a nearby gurney. Then I wheeled Jool into the cryochamber, and put her in the pod. After securing her in the pod, I turned it on to deep freeze. One can never have enough spare parts, you know. Then I did the same to Stanis. After I was done, I went back to my offices to fill out the paperwork, and add the newest entries to the used organ catalogue. Tocot opened my office door.
"Grunchlk, where is Stanis?" he asked.
"I, uh... what did you want with Stanis?" I asked in return.
"Well, I just got off the link with my friend in the anti-virals school, and he says that he can cure Stanis, but we have to freeze him first, then we ship him over. Freezing prevents the spread of the virus from the parts of the body it has already infected, to the parts which it hasn't."
"Oh. Splendid news! Stanis is already in one of the cryopods, ready to be shipped out!" I said.
"That's good, Grunchlk. See that it gets shipped out, please. And send in my next appointment."
***
"So you froze him and his cousin and used them for spare parts?" Scorpius asks, reducing the intensity of his new Aurora Chair.
"Not exactly. We only used the guy for spare parts. At last check, the girl was still in storage," I say, wincing from the chair's pain.
"Oh, really? What operation called for the use of the male?"
"Cerebral fluid donation, John Crichton's brain," I say.
"Are you saying that this man's brain is now part of Crichton?"
"Yeah, I guess that's what I'm saying."
"Well, I wouldn't know, since you forced me to go talk to that Scarran, which caused me to end up here."
"Watch it, Grunchlk, or I'll turn the chair on high again!"
"Okay, okay, sorry. Well, like I said, I don't know what happened to her, but she was one of the three specimens which we intended to use as donors for Crichton's operation. It's possible that Crichton took the other two on Moya with him, after he escaped from you."
"How very interesting," he says. "I guess that means I haven't run out of uses for Crichton yet. And plus there's that Jool creature that could be useful for my research as well. I'm going to have to get Braca to start searching for them again."
"Well, that's splendid and all, sir, but," I pause, "what are you going to do with me now?"
"You shouldn't trouble yourself with such trivial details, Grunchlk," he says while leaving the room.
So there I am, in the Aurora Chair chamber with nobody else in here, because Scorpius sent all the guards away. I sit in the Chair watching a frozen image of Jool's cryopod when I hear the doors open. Out of the corner of my eye, I see some guards. The view of them becomes clearer as they begin to turn the chair off, and undo the shackles on the seat. Then, they take me back to my cell.
A few arns pass, and then Braca enters. He's got a pulse rifle with him. "Scorpius told me to put you back in the cryopod... that's why I brought this," he says and indicates the rifle. "Now, I don't like you anymore than you like me, so if you try anything, I'm going to have to shoot you in the other arm."
"Ooh, I'm so scared," I say, chuckling to myself. This just made Braca angrier.
"Get in the pod, Grunchlk!" He commands. Since I don't really have anything else to do, and being frozen is preferable to being in the Aurora Chair, I obey.
After I enter the pod, Braca closes the door. I close my eyes to make sure that I'm not awake for the duration of this freeze. I feel the machine activate, and I begin to get colder...
... suddenly, I begin to get warmer again. The freezing sequence has been averted, and I am being restored to normal. I open my eyes and look out the window. Wherever I am now, it's not on the Peacekeeper ship anymore. This ship is kinda brown. It also looks like a big mess, from here. Chains and things are hanging from the ceiling, and a bunch of garbage is strewn about on the floor. The door opens, and I step out.
A man with Zenetan markings on his face walks up to me and says, "Hey, there. My name is Staanz. I'm a garbologist. I bet you're pretty relieved I came about when I did, huh? You were just floating in space like that. If it wasn't for me, you'd be stuck out there."
"What do you mean, 'floating in space'?" I ask.
"Well, it's kind of a long story. See, I had been tailing this Peacekeeper ship, because they always seem to leave good stuff behind, and then I see them dump a large metal object out with the garbage. That was you. I scanned through the junk they dumped and found nothing useful, so I brought you onboard. Do you know how much this pod thing is worth?"
"Wait a minute, you were following a Peacekeeper ship... to collect their garbage?"
"Oh, no! I don't touch garbage! Usually they throw out some real treasures. I only pick up the best of what they throw away.
"I see. Well, I think it's a splendid honor to be considered better than the rest of the Peacekeeper garbage," I say, unable to think of a better response.
"Grunchlk," she yells from the other side of the ship, "Hurry up and get over here! The ship just released a bunch of their trash!"
I walk over to the telescope she has on her ship for better trash identification. She walks over to the scooper. She can see the garbage in the scooper, but she can't see it as well as I can with the scope.
***
"Grunny, did you see that beautiful box of HypnoRifts that the ship just tossed away?" Staanz asks.
"No, sorry, I was paying more attention to the stuff that looked valuable. Why are you always interested in the garbage?" I ask.
Staanz moves away from the scooper, and comes toward the scope, where I am. "Grunchlk," she says, "you used to keep spare organs around and sell them to people, right? Well, that's kind of what I'm doing. Think of the stuff I collect as organs. When all but one of a particular organ is gone, then the one organ that's left becomes vary valuable. That's the way it is with the HypnoRifts. The company that made those toys went out of business a couple of cycles ago. Real nasty nuclear explosion; took the entire planet with them. Anyway, they went out of business, so HypnoRifts are extremely rare. If I got that box, then I'd be able to sell the toys to overproviliged little kids at triple the price, and they'd pay it!"
"Oh," I say, conceeding. "How much would triple price of one of those Hypno-thingies be?"
"Oh, about 500 credits."
"500 credits?" I reply in amazement. "And people actually pay that much?"
"You bet 'cha."
"Well, that's splendid! Now hurry up and get back to the scooper! The box is about to pass us."
Staanz ran back to the scooper, and she managed to grab the box of Hypno-things before they passed us.
***
"HypnoRifts, the Fantastic New Toy from the company that brought you the Tamza's Underground Adventures posable figurines," I said, reading the label on the box. "Staanz, just what exactly do these things do?"
"Well, I don't really know," she says, "I've never actually seen one in action before. See, the company was working on this toy for around seven years before they actually settled on a design. They even ran ads on the idiot-box when I was a kid. You know, that was probably why the company went out of business: Seven years of ads with no product," she pauses, "anyway, like I said, I've never actually owned one."
"Oh," I said, not really interested in the toy, "Do you know anyone we could sell these two?"
"Know anyone? Hah! If they want a HypnoRift, believe me, they'll know where to get it. Now, thanks to the last sale, we have enough credits in our account to spend it on unnecessary places."
"Really?" I ask.
"Yep," she says, "and I've always wanted to the Venek Massacre Memorial"
***
CHAPTER 11: "I want one... how much are they?"
"Staanz, get a load of this," I say, motioning for her to come over and hear what I just heard. She walks over to where I'm standing, next to an official of the memorial. "Okay, then. Tell her what you just told me," I say to the memorial official.
"Well, as I told your... charming friend here, 6 people travelling on a Leviathan recently arrived at our memorial and took in the sights. They also bought a bunch of souveniers, like our novelty hairtops, and our shirts."
"Yeah, right, anyway, I described Crichton to him, and he says that it was Crichton that passed through," I say to Staanz. "Also, he said that Crichton had money, which means that he must've taken the cash back after Tocot died and I became frozen."
"So?" Staanz asks.
"So," I reply, "If we can track Crichton and Moya down, then I can get the money he was supposed to pay us back. It's over 15,000 krepmas, Staanz. Can you imagine having that much?"
Staanz's only response was a wide smile.
"Can you tell us which direction they left in?" I asked the memorial official.
***
"Commander, there is a Zenetan garbage-collection ship requesting to dock with us," I hear Moya's Pilot say from Staanz's console.
"A what?" Crichton asks.
"A garbage-collection ship. Remember Staanz? He... she wishes to come aboard again," says Pilot.
"Ask her why, Pilot," commands Aeryn.
I hear Staanz say to Pilot through the console, "Well, I met an old friend in my travels, and he seems to have some unfinished business with you," she said, chuckling and motioning for me to come over there. I did.
"Grunchlk? You're alive?" says Crichton, as I step into view, "Stark said you were dead! How'd you manage to find us, anyway?"
"That's not important now, is it? What is important," I say, getting a new flair for the dramatic, "is that you still owe me a great deal of money for your brain surgery."
"I see," Crichton says. He pauses, thinking the situation out."Tell ya what, I'll make you a deal," he continues saying, "a friend of ours and his ship recently ran into some problems, and we'd appreciate your help. Now, I know you're not a doctor, but I figure you must've been around that Diagnosan long enough to have picked something up, right?" He starts walking in the direction of the cells. I look back at Staanz, and then I follow Crichton to the cells.
Staanz was approached by a girl with orange hair, who was extremely hypnotized with the HypnoRifts that Staanz had.
"Are those actual HypnoRifts? Working ones? I want one!" Jool said. "How much are they?"
Staanz smiled.