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Just when he thought he might doze off again, he definitely heard a noise from the doorway. He heard a throat clear, and then his father's voice called softly, "John? Are you awake, Son?"
John sighed. He didn't answer, not wanting to wake Aeryn, but he carefully extricated himself from her embrace. He pulled the covers over her and, stifling a groan, rooted around on the floor for his shorts.
He padded across the room stretching stiff limbs and pulled the privacy curtain back far enough to reveal his father's form, standing awkwardly in front of the cell door. "Hey, Dad. What's up?" he asked. "Usually it's TJ who gets me out of bed in the morning."
Jack stood for a moment, looking at the floor as if trying to decide what to say. Finally he lifted his head. "Can we talk?"
John looked back at Aeryn's still-sleeping form, then back at his father. "Let me get some clothes on, we can take a walk."
Guessing this might be a long conversation, John used the facilities, washed up, and tossed on some clothes. As he ran his fingers through his hair to smooth it down, he glanced once again at Aeryn. He saw that she was awake, lying on her side with her head propped up on a folded pillow, watching him contentedly. He walked over and sat down on the bed next to her. "Mornin', Babe," he smiled, running his hand over her dark hair and down her arm, coming to rest on her hip.
She stretched lazily under his caress, and smiled back at him. "You're up early," she said. "Where are you going?"
He nodded towards the door with a rueful smile. "My dad."
"He's not going to try and tie you up and drag you back to Earth is he?" she teased, sliding her hand under the edge of his T-shirt and running her fingers over his stomach, smiling at the sharp intake of his breath.
"You will be the first to know if I need someone to watch my back," John said, leaning down to kiss her. "Or my front," he added, as he pulled away reluctantly and sat back up.
Aeryn laughed and told him, "Go on. Talk while you have the chance."
"I love you," he smiled.
She laughed again, then widened her eyes menacingly, and told him, "Go!"
"Okay, okay, I'm going," he agreed. He took a deep breath and got up and headed out into the corridor.
Jack had obviously been pacing back and forth. When he heard the noise of John opening the grillwork door, he stopped and turned around to face his son.
John nodded his head sharply down the corridor. "Come on, let's take a walk. I'll show you something."
"Sure, John," his father said, and they took off side by side, in slow matching strides. When they'd walked a little distance down the corridor, Jack said, "I, uh, didn't mean to get you out of bed. I hope I didn't interrupt anything. I, uh, know how it is when you get back from a trip," he said, a little embarrassed, but when John quickly said, "No, we were sleeping," Jack plunged on. "She's got an intense beauty, your Aeryn. I wasn't at all sure what to make of her at first. Now that you're here, I can see she obviously missed you very much. She's a different woman when you're around. And sexy as hell, too."
Taken aback to be spoken to man-to-man instead of father-to-son, John struggled to cover his surprise. "I am one lucky son of a bitch," he agreed.
John led them up one level to the next tier, and they continued walking.
"John, you always were a magnet for the girls," Jack said, looking back and forth around the corridor, rather than at his son. "I remember your high school senior prom. You had, what, half a dozen girls calling night and day, hoping you'd ask them to the dance?" He looked at John.
John blushed at the memory.
His father continued, "You never lacked for dates, and I'm sure you got laid plenty when you got older."
Embarrassed, John said, "Are you going somewhere with this? 'Cos it's really weird to be having this locker room conversation here with you…."
Jack snorted. "Yes, I suppose it is weird at that. I've had all kinds of conversations with you in my mind these past five years, but I never did treat you like an adult in real life, did I? No, don't let's argue about it, I *was* going somewhere with my rather indelicate reminiscences…." He paused for a moment, collecting his thoughts. "There were always women in your life, John, but there was never one who completed you, made you more than you were. Never one you wanted to spend your life with. Your mother and I thought, for a while, that Alex…."
John shrugged his shoulders. "Yeah, well, so did I."
"I always hoped you'd find someone. When you….died….when I thought you were dead, that was one of the things that grieved me the most. That you hadn't had someone in your life who meant to you, what your mother meant to me. That there was no one left behind to grieve for you, crazy as that probably sounds."
Jack lapsed into silence, and John kept them heading up, through the levels.
Frustrated, John said finally, "What did you want to say, Dad?"
"I never thought I'd find you here, John. In my heart, I believed you were dead. I think I came on this mission to put your ghost to rest. But here you are. Not only are you alive, you've got this amazing woman you obviously adore, and a beautiful, happy child . . . everything I ever wanted for you, but probably never told you. We never talked much about anything except your work, what you could accomplish. 'Make me proud, Boy….'" Jack shook his head, voice full of regret.
Moved, John stopped and turned and faced his father. "I don't think," he said, blinking back the moisture in his eyes, "that we were that different from most fathers and sons. You just don't…talk…about the things that matter. But I always knew, Dad," he said, taking a deep breath before finishing, "that you loved me. And having TJ… I know it's trite, but it's true, Dad. I really do understand you a lot better than I did back then."
Jack smiled at that. "I always thought you would make a great father. Something else I didn't tell you…. If I never see you again – "
John tried to interrupt, but Jack continued on.
"*If* I never see you again, I want you to know how thrilled I am to have been able to see you with your son. You're so comfortable with him, in a way I never was with any of you kids. It's the most important thing you can ever do with your life, John, and I am so proud of you."
John stared at his father for a few microts, eyes shining, then clapped his dad on the arm, and said, "Come on. I still have something to show you."
They continued upwards, towards the uppermost levels of Moya. John could see the puzzlement in his father’s expression, but he gave no explanation. And Jack didn’t ask, just followed quietly. When they reached the entrance to the terrace, John paused.
"Do you remember, the day I left?" he asked. "You told me that every man has a chance to be his own kind of hero."
Jack looked at him and nodded.
"Well, I've tried to do that, Dad. Not really to be a hero, but just to do what's right, to do the best I can. And it's a hard life here, sometimes, and I've made mistakes….but I know I've done my best with what I've been dealt, and I have my family, and my friends, and I do my best for them, too. It's not such a bad life."
"No. I guess it's not such a bad life at all."
"And there *are* wonders here," John said, opening the door to the terrace and ushering his father into the huge transparent-domed room.
Jack stopped dead, overwhelmed by the brilliant pinpoints of starlight against the deep blackness of space that surrounded them in this place. He turned around in a circle, looking at the unfamiliar constellations, and the swirling wormhole that hovered next to Moya.
"Come out here in the center," John said. "The effect is most amazing from the middle."
Jack followed his son to the middle of the room, and they both sat down on the floor. They gazed into space for a while without speaking, each lost in his thoughts.
"I come here to think sometimes," John finally said. "Or just to remind myself that I'm really in space. I live in space. All the time. It is *so* beautiful."
"You can't go home." It was a statement, not a question.
"I can't go home." John's voice was tinged with regret. "Not to stay." He scooted himself around until the wormhole filled his vision. "But I hope, after our discussion yesterday, that I will be able to come and visit you, and the girls, and DK…." Ah, getting maudlin again, John…. "You would not believe what I would give for a chocolate bar or a Diet Mountain Dew!" he grinned.
"Well, I'll be sure to lay in a supply," Jack said, matching John's light tone.
"That's good, Dad," John said softly. He took one more look around the dome at the stars, then looked back at his father. "I guess we'd better go get some breakfast," he said. "We have to get you home."
Jack searched his son's eyes for one long moment, and then nodded. "Yes. You have a wormhole to close."
The two helped each other up, and wordlessly headed down to the galley.
* * * * * * *
Ron and Jack had made a final check of the repairs to their ship, with help from John, who needed to keep his hands and his mind busy. They ran through the preflight checklist, as best they could in this non-IASA environment, and there seemed to be nothing to prevent them from leaving the sanctuary of Moya's docking bay and returning to Earth.
Aeryn and TJ joined John and his father in the docking bay for farewells. Ron was waiting in the cockpit of the Earth ship, and the rest of Moya's crew had said their goodbyes earlier and left docking bay to give John and his father some privacy. Aeryn carried both the child, and a small box that John had removed from a storage locker earlier in the day.
"Hey, TJ," said Jack, holding his arms out to the boy. "Come and give your grandpa a kiss, okay?"
TJ reached for him, and Aeryn handed him over. The baby planted a wet kiss on his grandfather's cheek, and beamed back at his parents.
Jack kissed the top of TJ's head. "Wish I could see you grow up," he whispered. "But I'm glad I got to meet you."
John cleared his throat to be able to talk around the lump that had formed as he looked at his son sitting in his father's arms. "Try to hang onto some of those photos Ron took, huh? You know they're going to get buried under a ton of red tape."
Jack smiled broadly. "Don't you worry. I've got one roll stashed away. They'll never find it."
"Just be careful where you get it developed, huh?" John said, grinning back. "I'd hate to show up and find you in jail!"
"I'll be fine," Jack assured him.
"I've got something I've been saving for you," John said. He glanced over at Aeryn, and she handed the box she'd been holding to Jack.
Jack took the container in his free hand. Unable to open it because of TJ, he looked at John and asked, "What is it?"
John took a deep breath. "Tapes. Not too many. The first year I was here, I used the flight tape recorder I had on the Farscape module to tape a kind of diary for you." He looked up toward the ceiling of the docking bay for a moment. "Turn 'em in, or keep 'em," he said, looking back at his father. "Whatever makes sense to you." He looked over at Aeryn briefly, and she smiled at him. He looked back at his dad. "But take them with a grain of salt. I was new here."
Jack examined the box in his hand, then looked back at his son, standing with the woman he loved. "I'll keep that in mind," he said. He turned his attention back to TJ. "Well, young fellow, I guess I've gotta go."
"M'pah go," TJ said.
"Yes, M'pah go," Jack said, smiling. He put TJ down on the floor, and looked at Aeryn. "Goodbye, Aeryn Sun," he said. "I'm more glad to have met you than you can possibly know."
"We don't say goodbye in our family," Aeryn said, eyes full of tears.
John's father frowned at her, not understanding.
She searched for the right words, and finally said, "Goodbyes are final."
Jack nodded slowly. "Then, take care of my son," he told her.
"That, I can promise you," she said, smiling through her tears.
Jack reached out a hand to John then, and John pulled him into an awkward embrace. "Take care of yourself, Dad," he said. "Tell the girls I love them and I miss them."
"You know I will, Son," Jack told him, letting go of John and backing off just a bit. "You take care of your family."
John nodded, not trusting himself to speak. The two men gazed at each other for a long moment, and then John smiled.
Jack smiled in return. "I'd better go," he said, and turned away.
"M'pah go," said TJ, wrapping himself around John's leg.
John reach down and tousled his son's dark hair, but never took his eyes off his father until Jack disappeared into his spacecraft. The windows were too small to allow him to be seen from the outside.
As the ship left the docking bay, John turned to Aeryn and leaned forward to rest his forehead on hers, eyes closed, drawing strength from her as he silently counted off the microts needed to be sure the ship had made it through to Earth space. Finally he backed off slightly and said, "I, uh, I'd better go close that wormhole."
Aeryn took his face in her hands, and kissed him gently. "You go do what you have to do. We'll be here when you get back," she told him firmly.
John smiled then, shaking off the melancholy. He twirled a strand of Aeryn's hair in his fingers, and twisted his mouth in a suggestive grin. "I'll only be a few microts."
Aeryn patted his chest, grinned back, and told him, looking pointedly down at TJ, "It's the middle of the day."
"I'm sure Chiana will take him."
"Go," she said with mock exasperation, bending down and picking TJ up.
John grinned at her, patted his son on the arm, then turned and walked to his module.
Aeryn watched him walk to the ship, but didn't wait to see him leave the bay. She headed down the corridor to see if Chiana was busy.
TJ stretched one hand in the general direction his father had gone and asked, "Da go?"
"No," Aeryn told him with a smile. "Da will be right back."
